To think he is wrong about sti transmission

[Esssa]

Fwb/ex has told me today that he thinks that whatever is wrong with his genitals is because of kissing me.

We haven't had sex for a long time but still mess around now and again, kissing and fondling. Neither of us has given or received oral from each other in the last 6 months or so either. He said the redness, soreness and peeing disruption he is experiencing corresponds with kissing me.

He has one other partner that I know of, there may be others, I'm not sure. I have had two other partners since my last sti check 2.5years ago. I have no symptoms of an sti but I'm going to the local drop in clinic first thing in the morning.

Aibu to think if he has something it's coincidence and not my doing? And if I have something it may be his doing?

I'm not asking for opinions on who I have sex with, just whether what he says is feasible. Everything I've read says kissing is 'safe'.

I'm not a doctor but I'm sure he's wrong about the effect of kissing on his cock.

He's probably caught something from one of his other FWB.

So he thinks his genital symptoms are the result of kissing you on the lips and catching an sti? (Hope I have interpreted correctly)

If you're not having oral and not having penetration then no, you can't pass him an sti.

If you already have oral thrush you could give him oral thrush (and vice versa), if you had cold sores they could be passed, but again it would be mouth to mouth.

Unless you have oral thrush, then you slavver all over your hand as lube and then use your hand on him....... That's the only way I can think of that you'd give him something...... And that's me. Ring far fetched.

*being far fetched

I think you can pass on herpes from a cold sore. Not sure though.

Yes MrsP that's what he is saying. It flares up whenever he's been near me apparently. Only the regular kind of spit swapping going on though. Still going to get checked because it's given me a case of itching like when someone mentions nits!

He's not complaining his cock has a cold sore though, just uncomfortable. He's been to the doctor who has given him some antibiotics without testing for anything.

When you say fondling, if you are masturbating him you could potentially be passing a condition across, or causing irritation if you use a product he is sensitive to.

That would mean my hands are infectious! As far as I know they aren't a breeding ground for contactable diseases. Surely I'd have some sort of issue if that was the case. I really want to find out if I've caught something. Be interested to see what he says if it's not me!

No if he's allergic to your hand lotion, soap, etc

If you are in genital skin to skin contact you can pass an STI between you

I guess so but I don't think an allergic reaction would affect his 'flow' when he pees would it? Does sound like an infection of some sort but can't see how it'd be down to me. The only saliva contact has been mouth to mouth and no genital skin to skin that I can remember in the last few months either. Can't sleep for it going round in my head which is ridiculous as it won't help anything!

Well he needs to go to the GUM clinic for a screen and if he does have an infection he can test out his theory it's from kissing you with them.

I wouldn't be sleeping with him anymore though, time to cast that one adrift.

Been to the clinic this morning so I'm just waiting for results. I can't decide which result I'm expecting tbh. Negative because I'm fine or positive because of slightly questionable behaviour Was told it's highly unlikely to be spread by kissing tho so if he is germ ridden it may not be anything to do with me!

I don't know if it's worth telling him to go now as he's already taking antibiotics. Also the nurse said to me today that it could be any number of other things wrong with him such as contact dermatitis etc.

Thank you all for your opinions. Just have to wait and see now.