to go "cold" on certain friendships?

[CoolToned]

For example, a friend from childhood who does nothing but complain about her very good job and high salary. She complains about her boss, how the boss asks her to do most of the work, how the expats ask her to proofread documents, why can't they do it themselves etc. It's like she can find something bad about everything that's happening to her. It's toxic.

Then another friend who have backbitten me on certain occasions.

Etc.

I live in another country now.

When do you decide to let go?

Only you can decide that, but I guess when you question the friendship you need to consider whether or not you are prepared to work at it or not. Does your friend job have kids?

No. She's single. I'm married, but I have no kids either. We live in different sides of the world.

Of course you can go cold on friendships that aren't serving you. It's actually quite liberating to realise you don't have to take people's crap any more. You decide to let go when you aren't 'feeling it' anymore. Hard to describe as IME it's more of an emotional decision than a logical one, but if thought of seeing/spending time with them doesn't fill you with excitement and joy, it's time to let go.