AIBU to be conflicted

[Gothgirl78]

... About this story

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-37105880

I think the woman on the plane was very unreasonable bit I'm not sure "shaming her" on social media is a good idea.

I hope there's no other thread, I can't find one .

I hope the little girl is okay now

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-37105880

Saw that on Facebook this morning.

I really don't understand this whole taking photos of people without their knowledge and using it to shame them on social media. Especially as it's only one side of the story and none actually knows what really happened and just assume the person being shamed is so awful without any real proof.

YANBU, I hate seeing people being shamed on social media as you never know the full story.

However, it's not like she named the woman or took her photo, so I don't really see how she's been shamed?

Sloppy of the BBC not to click on 'see more' so they could get the screen shot of the whole post though.

I saw this a while back.

The Mother didn't think that the Woman could have a condition that makes her sensitive to noise and very literal.

One day her children with SN will be Adults and I hope that if they behave in a way that upsets people around them, their pictures aren't taken and they aren't shamed on SM.

It's like the threads were the posters take great delight in saying 'your welcome' if someone doesn't say thank you, for keeping a door open.

Or the hatred of other Adults that walk/move slowly.

Or take up space in a lift, when they don't look disabled.

As well as being judgemental of Parents, perhaps we also need to give Adults a bit more thought.

SN doesn't stop at sixteen.

I'm always dubious as you never know if this is just some random person who has been picked out and placed in a scenario that didn't actually happen. Or what the full story is. People share stuff so easily without considering that they don't know both sides.

yanbu

I HATE stories where some member of the public is picked upon and thrust in to the media spotlight without being able to give their side of the story. It is morally so wrong and unfair to that person.

None of us were there, none of us actually know what happened. That woman does not deserve having her photo in the public without being able to tell her side of the story.

Tabloids are utter shit garbage for always allowing this kind of stuff to happen. Shame on BBC for hosting it too.

Oh and literally bollocks did the mother expose this to "raise awareness"

Sorry finally just to say - remember that breast feeding thread in primark from last year where the woman claimed a security guard had manhandled her out the store or something, which turned out to be utter bollocks? It only came to light AFTER all these thicko armchair warriors threatened voilence to him with a liberal dash of racism.

Do not believe everything you read!

That woman does not deserve having her photo in the public without being able to tell her side of the story.

I can't see a photo of the woman, unless the BBC have refused to publish it?

There is a photo with the story on Facebook. I also wonderes what if the woman herself is sensitive to noise / has aspergers / dad died recently and friends and family thought a break would be what dad wanted, or any number of other issues.

If someone dizpleases you, dont be passive Aggressive and just deal wih it at the time.

I must admit (and I've realised this mostly from reading MN) that we seem to be living in an age where people would rather send a text, send an email, write a note or take to social media to complain, rather than dealing with issues there and then at the time.

It's normally 'justified' with the words "I don't like confrontation".

But often (not always) that just means "I only want to put my side across and not listen to the other person".

I felt the same as the op when I read this. The mothers side makes it sound like the person is a twat.

But it's only one side

We have no idea what else was going on.

I have aspergers and have to wear headphones, with music, a lot when out and about. I can't where headphones when a flights taking off. It's very stressful. Last year I asked a woman 'to please be quiet' as she was making jokes about the plane crashing.

Now she may have had Additional needs and not known she was upsetting me and my kids (and others). But I still feel I was within my rights to ask her to stop.

I would be beyond angry if she put my photo on social media with her side of the story on there.

Completely agree that social media shaming is completely unnecessary. Even in the worst case scenario and the other passenger did not have any additional needs/mitigating circumstances and was just being rude, that doesn't call for this kind of vigilantism or public shaming. It's one of the worst things about the modern age, I think. Jon Ronson's writings on this topic are pretty good.

There's a photo of the woman in the article in the daily mail website but I didn't want to link that.

Thanks for the responses so far.

Jizz, it's not a full on picture but if you knew the woman it's identifiable.

I saw the photo. If you know the person in real life, you would recognise them.

Flight home from Ibiza? The woman was probably on a massive come down with a banging headache :-)

But how do we even know it happened?

jizz that's not the point. The point is there is only one person point of view here.

What's to stop someone taking your photo, in the street and going on social media and doing the same?

I can't blame the woman for coming not coming forward with her own version. Too many people assume the mothers version is the truth and won't listen to anything she says anyway and will open herself up to a torrent of abuse.

I am always uncomfortable with these public shamings too. The photos involved could be anyone - we don't know what has happened. The results for the person pictured can be huge - perhaps even violent in areas where emotions run high (such as those which purport to show people who abuse animals).

Jon Ronson's book "So you've been Publically Shamed" is about this and is informative and terrifying in equal measures.

I guess we all behave like an arse sometimes. Be honest.

Remember last time you did and imagine finding out someone took a photo of you at that moment. Now imagine seeing it all over the media for work, friends, neighbors and family to see.

Does she deserve it? I'm not sure. She didn't physically harm anyone, she just made an arsey comment.

Another one who's also very uncomfortable with these public shamings and I'm sadly seeing more and more of them.

I suffer from misophonia and certain noises make me go from zero to murderous in a second.

Whilst I accept it's likely that the woman on the plane was just being a miserable git, she hasn't been afforded he opportunity to put her side across and now her face is splashed all over social media and in the Daily Fail for her actions, which I think is very wrong indeed.