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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to not wear my wedding ring?

39 replies

allthecarbs · 16/08/2016 20:20

And wonder who else does the same?
I can't stand wearing jewellery. I can constantly feel it on me and feel restricted and annoyed by it. We've been married for 1 1/2 years now but I'd say I've only worn my ring for 6 months of that.

It upsets dh but I don't know what I can do. Anyone else the same?

OP posts:
NicknameUsed · 16/08/2016 20:27

Why did you bother getting one then? I can understand why it upsets your husband.

I don't "do" jewellery on my hands or wrists, but do wear my wedding ring. I just have a plain gold band. It took me a a while to get used to t, but now it would feel odd not to wear it.

YourNewspaperIsShit · 16/08/2016 20:27

I had to wear mine on a chain around my neck because I couldn't wash dishes or shower with jewellery on it felt so awful, but yanbu, a lot of people get theirs tattooed on for the same reason. It shouldn't upset your DH as you have a valid reason

eurochick · 16/08/2016 20:27

I wear mine out of the house but leave it off quite a bit.

Helenluvsrob · 16/08/2016 20:31

I haven't worn mine since dd1 born 23yrs ago! It's now on X chain round my neck with my mums engagement ring , but if I didn't want to wear that I wouldn't wear anything jewellery wise.

My fingers are either too swollen or I fear rings will fall off in the sink..

maisyanddaisy · 16/08/2016 20:31

I hardly ever wear mine, my fingers are too chubby for rings and I don't feel the need to. DH doesn't wear his either. We're not any less married!

ThornyBird · 16/08/2016 20:32

Dh and I both go through phases (lasting months/years) of not wearing our wedding rings - his is too big so he worries he'll lose it, mine is too small and I have to remove it regularly. We've been married for 16 years though and neither of us feel that our wedding rings are what make us married - they are 'just' a symbol

I'm currently wearing a cheapo Argos band that I can remove easily but won't upset me if it falls off and is lost.

WordGetsAround · 16/08/2016 20:33

I haven't worn mine for years. Might go back to wearing it at some point, but prefer not to.

Scarydinosaurs · 16/08/2016 20:33

I don't wear mine. Just because you have one that doesn't mean you're obliged to wear it forever. Your DH can feel upset, but it is only a ring. You're still married. Does he wear his?

Neither myself nor my DH wear a ring. I don't even wear my engagement ring anymore. Just isn't important to me.

Crispsheets · 16/08/2016 20:34

Why would it upset him? It makes you feel uncomfortable. He is being ridiculous.

Idliketobeabutterfly · 16/08/2016 20:34

Mine doesn't fit so can't wear it.

peanutnutty · 16/08/2016 20:34

I kept catching mine on part of a circular saw at work, so took it off 5 years ago. Dh has joined me in abandoning his Grin.
Doesn't make us any less married.

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 16/08/2016 20:35

I don't wear jewellery either and I haven't worn my wedding ring in about 15 years. I also get quite bad skin reactions to jewellery, even gold and platinum.
It doesn't affect how I feel about my marriage and it doesn't matter if people I don't know anyway assume that I'm single. My husband doesn't wear his either because he had an accident at work at the ring had to be cut off. He doesn't care about us not wearing rings, because rings are just a symbol and it's what they represent that matters.

Idliketobeabutterfly · 16/08/2016 20:36

Been married eleven years and wore it only first five due to huge weight loss and couldn't be adjusted.

ButtonLoon · 16/08/2016 20:36

DH never wanted a ring (we had a token cheap one for him at the wedding) and mine is a bit too loose so I took it off two years ago meaning to get it resized and haven't bothered yet! Doesn't matter to either of us!

MsKite · 16/08/2016 20:43

I don't like wearing rings. They don't feel comfortable. Luckily I'm not married! But if I was I would want to be married to someone who didn't mind whether I wore a ring or not.

John4703 · 16/08/2016 20:45

It is personal choice. I wear my wedding ring but not if I am doing work that would damage it or when it could get caught in a power tool.
My wife used to wear hers but had breast cancer and then developed Lymphedema and could not wear her rings on her left hand. She wears them on her right hand but a few weeks ago we bought a new larger matching wedding ring that she now wears over the compression glove on her left hand. we had a lovely blessing of it by the minister who married us.
I help her with the sleeve and glove and usually put on her ring each day. (I thought I only had to put the ring on her finger once).
Seriously we were no less married when she did not wear her rings, it is all down to what you want to do, for us it was important but a ring does not make a marriage, love and care and understanding make a marriage.

,

Original poster
allthecarbs · 16/08/2016 20:48

I didn't bother getting one, he'd got me a ring as a present years ago that I'd never worn so we just used that.

He does accept I don't like to wear it and doesn't go on about it but he has said it upsets him. He views it as part of our marriage whereas I'm more like everyone here and don't see it as a big deal.

I might try wearing it on a necklace sometimes.

OP posts:
AvengeTheDoc · 16/08/2016 20:49

I can see why some don't like their partners to not wear their ring, for some it means a lot, and there's been plenty of threads on MN to attest to that, but if you find it uncomfortable you can't go round feeling uncomfortable 24/7

crayfish · 16/08/2016 21:01

I sometimes wear mine, sometimes don't. DH has never commented on it, although other people have.

Do what you feel comfortable with.

Liara · 16/08/2016 21:05

I don't wear mine, nor does dh wear his.

We did for years, then became much more physically active and just found them a nuisance, so they've been off for around a decade.

acasualobserver · 16/08/2016 21:07

I better not find my husband has been taking his off.

Nandocushion · 16/08/2016 21:09

I've never even had a wedding ring. I like rings but like to change them around a lot. I don't see the point in a wedding ring tbh.

molyholy · 16/08/2016 21:10

I dont wear my wedding ring for the same reason as you OP. I cant bear the feeling of wearing jewellery anywhere on my body. I thought it may be different with my engagement/wedding ring. It wasn't. My dh wears his, but it doesn't bother him that I don't wear mine.

BrendaFurlong · 16/08/2016 21:11

I don't wear my ring - I got contact dermatitis twice at the base of my ring finger, so just stopped. DH wears his but fiddles with it constantly (and once lost it - DC grassed on him after the event.) I'm no less committed than he is. (However the lack of rings was commented on by colleagues in one workplace, two of whom also informed me that I wasn't committed to the marriage as evidenced also by the fact I didn't change my name on marriage. Apparently I'm not proud of my DH.)

Floralnomad · 16/08/2016 21:13

Dh wore his for about 6 months and I wore mine for about 13 years , they have been living together in a box for the last 13 yrs , it doesn't bother us .

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