Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Endless school requests for money/donations; WIBU to do this?

28 replies

BrazenRaven · 13/08/2016 12:21

It can be hard keeping track of the list of things that I have to remember and send money in for!

AIBU and would I be viewed as 'not fully committed to the ethos of the school blah blah' if I sent a donation in at the start of the year and ignored all request for money etc.

What would be an acceptable amount per child?
How could I word it politely to make it clear this is what I'm doing?

Has anyone done this?
How was it received?

OP posts:
Pearlman · 13/08/2016 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BrazenRaven · 13/08/2016 12:34

There is always something that parents are asked for.

Charity donations, donations for speakers coming to school assemblies, donations for organisations giving talks to classes, e.g. Guide Dogs, Dogs Trust, send in prizes for Autumn, Christmas and summer fair, send in buns for the school bake sale that I then buy back via my children
We are also asked for money for art resources for projects the children are doing.

Obviously I don't mind paying for school trips but sometimes the requests seem endless.

OP posts:
acasualobserver · 13/08/2016 12:38

One place I worked tried this by having a School Fund - as you say the idea was for parents to give once at the beginning of the year. Parents didn't like it.

mrsfuzzy · 13/08/2016 12:40

do what you feel is reasonable, you certainly mustn't worry about what school might think of you, if everyone does a little something it all adds up. don't feel you have to give what you can't afford.

Pearlman · 13/08/2016 12:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpinnakerInTheEther · 13/08/2016 12:46

I think anything other than what they are asking will be frowned upon.

Personally I would prioritise paying for school trips. Non payment of that particular voluntary contribution seemed to be the main bugbear complained about in the Newsletters in Primary.

All the rest just forget or give what you can afford. It often does not get noticed so much as people do forget, children lose cash and it is not usually put through the Parent Pay cashless system.

MadamDeathstare · 13/08/2016 12:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WeAllHaveWings · 13/08/2016 12:55

If you want to give, then give if not don't. Its acceptable to give only £1 (or even 50p). Its a request not mandatory.

We have ~600 children at ds's school. When they ask for donations they later send a message out saying well done we raised £327 for X. That means not everyone is donating or if they most are they are donating small amounts (ds tells me there is always one or two in his class that brings a fiver/tenner in each time)

Benedikte2 · 13/08/2016 13:10

I tend to think that even if you did as you suggest that you will still receive endless demands because the school will say they have no way of monitoring the system, deleting your name from the lists to be distributed etc etc.
I doubt anyone is sitting in the office marking off who pays what out so just pay for trips as they become due and at the end of each term staple the requests together with a small cheque to cover what you think you'd like to donate. That way you minimise number of donations you make. Just have to sling the requests in a drawe or pin to board as they come in.
How the school sorts it is their problem plus expect they'll be just happy to get the dosh

Missgraeme · 13/08/2016 13:15

Last request for cash I just sent a note in saying - unfortunately I can't contribute at this time. Can't be helped if at times I am fiscally challenged (fucking skintie poos - so says Billy Connolly!)

nokidsyetnet · 13/08/2016 13:22

I am a primary teacher and bar the charity donations don't think parents should pay for these things.

If we have a speaker in it comes out of a department budget and art resources out of the art budget. These are curriculum activities they should be planned for and budgeted for by the school.

Donations for charity is good for developing civic duty by I would encourage children to earn that money through jobs at home.

DragonsEggsAreAllMine · 13/08/2016 13:57

Is it really that hard to manage? Not sure how some adults cope at work when they get so riled up over the admin of a few school letters.

Just keep a box of things that you know they ask for each year, so christmas fair etc and a jar of change for the little requests that come home. Or buy as needed, most people have to shop for food so not hard to put a packed of cakes in or a box of chocs for the raffle.

Be grateful you have an involved school that is doing extra on top of standard education for the best of your child.

BagelGoesWalking · 13/08/2016 14:04

We've just been sent a letter from the 6th form college my DD will be going to in September. £150 "general fund contribution" request for the 2 years she'll be there! Shock

Haven't quite decided what to do - they've kindly enclosed bank transfer details and many other ways of paying, of course!

BagelGoesWalking · 13/08/2016 14:05

Meant to add, we quite possibly spent a smilar amount on various contributions requested by her secondary school over the same amount of time, but it was still a shock!

MadamDeathstare · 13/08/2016 14:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scaryteacher · 13/08/2016 14:32

I have to admit Bagel that to only have the general fund contribution to pay for ds's state sixth form in UK, was a pleasant change from the amounts we were expected to fork over as well as fees at the international school he attended abroad.

It paid towards the minibus for DofE, and helped towards exam fees and re-mark fees for the poorer students, so I didn't begrudge it. I knew he would get an excellent education and experience there, and he did.

GahBuggerit · 13/08/2016 15:00

Ds's school had a tick sheet in their class so everyone could see who hasnt donated their £2 school fund weekly donation Shock

they never used to so it was clearly a bullying and shaming tactic. i stopped donating once they did their shitty tick list and ignored the rattling tin i got in my face each morning. then the teacher asked me directly why i wasnt donating, i said it was voluntary afaik, and if she wanted to she could catch up with the office who surely kept track of all the dinher money overpayments id made and never got back so take it out of there. so cheeky!

we get requests to pay for resources for them walking to the park, we have to still pay dinners if they are having a party where parents supply the food, we have to pay for parent helpers tickets to the theatre, zoo, theme parks etc, endless dances to raise school funds, endless non uniform days......entrance fee to school fairs AND the stalls at them are a rip off, i paid £3 for a lucky dip and he got a bloody polystyrene aeroplane with a wing missing arrrrrgh!!!!

Pearlman · 13/08/2016 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sooverthis · 13/08/2016 15:36

I simply say I donate my time through volunteering I don't give cash to charities. If pressed (which is arsewipingly rude) I usually respond in kind quite rudely. Most large charities are fund raising for their salaries first and foremost so I will only give to small local charities anyway. I volunteer for two local charities btw and both my dc do volunteer work. I am happy to pay for trips/art material etc but it's a stretch and needs to be budgeted for. The idea that children have to give money to be civic minded is wrong that's what the taxation system is for.

GahBuggerit · 13/08/2016 15:43

yep, complete with the shakey rattley tin in my face just in case i was unclear about what she was asking!

Out2pasture · 13/08/2016 15:50

I try to always donate but I choose the amount.
So if a student at the door wants to sell me a chocolate bar, I'll decline the bar but donate change. Half or quarter the asking price.
Not trying to be cheap but trying to spread what I donate to everyone iykwim

HopeClearwater · 13/08/2016 16:04

Need more info from OP: state school? England? Scotland? Outside UK? etc

OctopusHairband · 13/08/2016 16:26

Advice I was given was to complete all forms/money requests as soon as received and return asap, then you won't forget.

I don't mind paying towards trips and a few charity donations but I don't like constant requests for money, particularly when it's not educational. How is a trip to a theme park educational? Some requests annoy me.

Chikara · 13/08/2016 17:04

I am maybe going against the grain here.

I know it isn't easy to keep track - especialliy if you have several DC but it is a question of being organised. Our primary tried the one-off donation and v few people paid where as if they saw it as a contribution to a craft project that their DC was doing they would.

Most have a school fund anyway - I donated £50 when my DS left instead of teachers' persents.

Thirdly - either you beleive that state school is paid for and you contribute nothing or you contribute so all the kids can do more/have more. If nobody contributed te kids would feel it.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 13/08/2016 17:16

They don't have a mechanism for keeping your pot of money somewhere and allocating it to various things as needed. Charity donations will be tallied up and sent off after a couple of weeks so sending them in at the end of term wouldn't work. Pot of change/pack of envelopes/pen in the hall, fill form in as soon as you get it, put money in and back in DCs bag, job done. Or bin it.