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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU swimming and the borrowers!! ARGH!

26 replies

BitterHag · 11/08/2016 00:48

So i take my 6 year old swimming, and im getting so pissed off with the amount of times parents take his things from the side of the pool and assume they can just use them...like goggles, floats... even the sodding nose plug!!

Today he was trying with a pool noodle then wanted to try without.
a smaller girl wanted it and took it and i said excuse me but its his... the mum asked if they could borrow it 'for a minute' so my son said yes.. the (brat!) Kid was asked to say thank you and screamed NO in my sons face and swam off with his float. After about 15 minutes he asked for it and i said its on the side, shes not using it, go and take it.
So he got it. The kid noticed and had the most epic tantrum for about 30 mins with the mother and her friend giving me daggers!!
Wtf... i brought it so my son could use it.. not the rest of the pool.
They actually ended up leaving cause she was near hysterical.

Please someone agree with me that she should have told her bratty offspring 'no its not yours...' and dealt with it in the beginning, rather than have a child wait to use something that is theirs!

Am i being a twat for not sharing?
Dont even know why its bugging me so much...

OP posts:
Imnotaslimjim · 11/08/2016 00:57

Yes, she should have told her "no" and she'll be sorry soon enough that she never has. The tantrum after you took it back is proof of that!

PerspicaciaTick · 11/08/2016 00:59

I write our initials on in Sharpie and never lend. I don't see why my children should lose their toys because other parents assume they belong to the pool. I used to feel mean but I've toughened up now. There never seem to be any thanks for being generous, it just encourages people to take more than they were offered.
I do suggest the parents ask the lifeguards if there are floats they can borrow...so not entirely unhelpful.

Tartyflette · 11/08/2016 01:06

But you did share!
Good lord -- did they somehow think it was part of the pool's equipment, rather than yours? if not, entitled doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think next time (if there is a next time) you're going to have to say loudly in their hearing to him that he was a very good boy for letting the little girl borrow his float.

LauderSyme · 11/08/2016 01:09

No, of course you are not being a twat nor are ybu!
If other parents want their kids to have swimming equipment at the pool they should -gasp!- buy their own and lug it there themselves.
Unbelievable that that mother gave you dirty looks and failed to put her child straight about the fundamentals of "mine" and "not mine". If my ds behaved like that, the minute he screamed "No!" would have been the minute I took the float away from him and explained that if he couldn't share nicely and show some manners, then he couldn't have it.
Some people's sense of entitlement is astonishing. I suppose their kids can't really be blamed if that's the role model they have.

VioletBam · 11/08/2016 01:13

YANBU but I always remember a thread on here where LOADS of people thought it was fine for a woman to have taken a child's bucket in a public sandpit so her child could use it.

This woman was outraged that the parent asked for it back when they were in the middle of building a castle.

Birdsgottafly · 11/08/2016 01:15

How old was the other child?

Some children do throw epic tantrums that are down to personality, rather than Parenting.

The Mum did the right thing in leaving, there wasn't much else that she could do, whilst the child is mid tantrum, that wouldn't make it worse.

I wouldn't have been staring at them to know if they were glaring at me.

FeelingSmurfy · 11/08/2016 01:16

You may want to read this thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2705092-To-be-getting-cheesed-off-with-this-poolside-behaviour-now?pg=1&order=

At least you know it's not just you going through this Sad

Original poster
BitterHag · 11/08/2016 01:18

Thanks everyone, very good idea about the sharpie, ill be doing that in the morning.

Im so glad you dont think im being unreasonable... you known when you replay something and start to doubt yourself... thats what i was doing

Violetbam... oh i dunno, in the middle of a castle is a bit harsh... ;)

Oh well, neither a borrower nor a lender be!

OP posts:
Original poster
BitterHag · 11/08/2016 01:22

Birdsgottafly where did i say i was staring... most people know when someone is looking at them.... when two people are looking at them... while im in a cossie and paranoid as it is.

Kid was about a year younger than mine.

I think its half and half, she expected a child to give up their stuff to pacify her own... i wouldnt do it..id tell them no, maybe you would?

OP posts:
KeepOnPlodding · 11/08/2016 01:24

I do think the answer is to 'Sharpie' everything.

We have the same on holiday if DC has dive-sticks, balls, noodles etc. that could be easily lost/confused.

I'm more than happy to lend/share stuff but it's helpful to know what's yours when it's time to go back to the room.

Original poster
BitterHag · 11/08/2016 01:24

Feelingsmurfy yeeeeesh, now i feel like im moaning over nothing because that holiday sounds like hell....

OP posts:
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 11/08/2016 01:25

The mother was giving you daggers because your ds wanted his own property back. !!!!!!.
Also WTF uses someone elses nose plugs. I actually feel a bit blurgh at that thought.

Original poster
BitterHag · 11/08/2016 01:30

I know!! It actually happened to my friend too so twice on different occasions, i didnt see him put it on, but he had it in his hand... so i took it off him and was like "please could you not..."
Nasty :/

OP posts:
AnnaMarlowe · 11/08/2016 01:44

Why not get a large mesh bag with a drawstring to keep your things in poolside? That way they are all together and clearly yours.

And yes, name everything.

MadamDeathstare · 11/08/2016 01:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

avamiah · 11/08/2016 01:49

BitterHag,
My daughter is 7 soon and has been swimming for about 10 months but she had weekly swimming lessons at the local pool and these noodles were provided by the swimming club .
But I have taken her swimming myself and most pools don't provide these noodles unless it's a pool within a hotel(leisure club), so I think maybe these people think the noodle belongs to the Pool ( wishful
thinking).
The sooner your son learns to swim the better, lol.

MuffyTheUmpireSlayer · 11/08/2016 01:56

YANNNNNBU! Ugh, this reminds me of buying DD a bucket and spade set at the beach only to turn around after putting sun cream on her to see another family literally walking away with it. (Holding a grudge? Me? Of course not!)

I hate "borrowers". Sometimes, if I'm feeling nice, I will offer when I see a child innocently eyeing something up, but don't ask and certainly don't get your back up when I want it back!

avamiah · 11/08/2016 02:07

Muffy, lol.
I take it you've been to Bournemouth then.
There are lots of shops (in season), selling bucket and spades but my little one always manages to lose hers( some kid walks off with it) .

VioletBam · 11/08/2016 02:09

Muffy did you stop them?

People are so fucking weird and entitled.

I hate it! Some kid got on my DDs bike at the park...she was about 4 and wanted it back immediately...so I looked about for a parent and none was apparent....

I approached the boy on DDs bike and said "Excuse me, that's her bike and she'd like it back now please" with a nice smile and he said NO I
am USING IT!

So I had to literally stop him from going past! His Mum never appeared either.

FeelingSmurfy · 11/08/2016 12:55

No I didn't mean it like that, just wanted to show that its not just you, and you may get some ideas from the posts on there Smile

NeedACleverNN · 11/08/2016 12:58

I would never let my kids take someone else pool toys.

It's obvious the pool hasn't provided them.

If my children wanted to borrow them, I would tell them no. Simple

Why can't other parents do the same?

ErrolTheDragon · 11/08/2016 13:10

How totally bizarre. Definitely label what you can, 'this belongs to Tommy G.' not just initials - not sure what you do about noseplug though.

AnotherTimeMaybe · 11/08/2016 13:14

I never saw again any money I lent, let alone a pool noodle!!

Crazycatladyloz82 · 11/08/2016 13:23

This happens to me when I take my DD swimming. She is 1 so has a float ring for when my arms get tired. The amount of parents who claim they just wanted to look and weren't going to use it is unbelievable. I have no issue being rude and telling them were to go.

gilmoregirl · 11/08/2016 13:44

I have lost count of the number of pool balls, dive toys and goggles we have lost at our local pool.

They have all been named with Sharpie but people just do not seem to care!

I kind of grudgingly accept losing kids goggles and pool toys.

However recently someone swiped my new expensive goggles and a £5 bottle of conditioner from the pool side while I was in the loo. What a cheek!