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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SAHM not knowing if they get child benefit, is this usual?

35 replies

HmmIDontKnow · 28/07/2016 23:00

Had a conversation with someone recently, I can't remember how the subject came up but we were talking about benefits and she was saying she didn't claim any. I mentioned child benefit and I was surprised when she said she has no idea if they get it or not. She is a SAHM, I assumed the primary caregiver (mum in most cases) got the child benefit but maybe I'm wrong. But to not even know if they get it is a bit odd right? It seems that she doesn't have access (or maybe just doesn't look) at the bank account? DP and I don't have joint accounts so our finances are done differently, if you have a joint account with your DP/H and you don't work, do you have free access to it?

OP posts:
Vipermisnomer · 28/07/2016 23:07

Perhaps she just thinks it is non of your business?

Twowrongsdontmakearight · 28/07/2016 23:08

When I was a SAHM I had complete access to finances.

Nowadays I think you only get child benefit if neither parent earns more than c.£50k. (Two parents on less than that eg £49k each still get it). Not sure of the exact upper limit. So having a SAHP is a disadvantage in that case. If one of you is over the threshold you can choose to receive it and pay it back in tax or just refuse it.

In your friend's case I suspect her DH earns above the threshold so they don't get it. She's probably never thought to check.

Hockeydude · 28/07/2016 23:10

Her dh could have filled in the form when the child was born and have it paid into a joint account which your friend might not monitor. Or he could earn over the threshold and not get it.

Or she thinks it's noyb!

TheUnsullied · 28/07/2016 23:11

From how you've written it here it looks like she may have decided you were being a bit too nosey...after all, the answer to the digging about CB would give you an idea about their income. May not be the case of course but it reads that way.

glueandstick · 28/07/2016 23:13

Perhaps she doesn't want to disclose that her husband earns more than 50k.

navylily · 28/07/2016 23:13

She probably doesn't get it if her DP earns over £60k.

quicklydecides · 28/07/2016 23:14

She thinks you are too interested in her personal business so she tried to get you to stop asking her questions.
So now you are asking strangers instead.

chaserubbleandskye · 28/07/2016 23:16

Yeah I think it's a bit odd to discuss benefits you do or don't get tbh in general as a topic of conversation

hotdiggedy · 28/07/2016 23:19

Yep, it was her way of telling you politely to mind your own business.

Original poster
HmmIDontKnow · 28/07/2016 23:20

Oh fgs, it wasn't like that at all, it wasn't a case of she thought it was none of my business. It was a general conversation we were having and she was the one who brought it up, I wasn't digging into their finances. I was surprised that she didn't even know, and she would have said as she said before they don't get tax credits.

OP posts:
LunaLoveg00d · 28/07/2016 23:21

We used to get it but don't any more. We were never dependent on it - watching the bank account to see when it was paid. I don't look after the finances in this house, I have other things I'm in charge of. So had you asked me about 10 years ago, I would have known we got CB, but wouldn't have known how much and whether it was paid weekly, monthly or quarterly.

Agree with others though that your friend was telling you to keep your nose out.

Original poster
HmmIDontKnow · 28/07/2016 23:28

My friend was NOT telling me to keep my nose out!

I wasn't nosing, I wasn't even asking. SHE mentioned it herself, NOT me.

My question was is it unusal to not even know? Not jump to conclusions that's I was nosing in other people's finances!

OP posts:
hotdiggedy · 28/07/2016 23:32

Well they must have plenty money if she doesnt know.

Oliversmumsarmy · 28/07/2016 23:33

Actually you do get it if one person earns over £60k. It is taxed though.

ExitPursuedByABear · 28/07/2016 23:36

A friend of mine was surprised that we are still entitled.

beenaroundawhile · 28/07/2016 23:36

But to not even know if they get it is a bit odd right? It seems that she doesn't have access (or maybe just doesn't look) at the bank account? DP and I don't have joint accounts so our finances are done differently, if you have a joint account with your DP/H and you don't work, do you have free access to it?

I see three questions there, one of which is asking if it's odd not to know and two of which are nosing into other people's finances.

AyeAmarok · 28/07/2016 23:36

I reckon she was just being vague because she didn't want to tell you what her husband earns.

If it goes into his account and he transfers money to her then she also may genuinely not know.

hilbil21 · 28/07/2016 23:37

If you earn between 50k and 60k its taxed at 10 percent for every thousand. If you earn over 60k you don't get it. I am a SAHM and I have access to our joint account. We don't rely on it ... My OH earned just under £53000 last year so we have to give £268 of it back by end of January. I don't mind giving a little back as I know my OH earns a fair amount. What annoys me is if both he and I earned £49000 each we could keep it all!

WordGetsAround · 28/07/2016 23:37

If the highest paid person in the household gets £60k+ it is taxed at 100%, so it's disingenuous to say you still get it.

WordGetsAround · 28/07/2016 23:39

(That was to Oliversmum)

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 28/07/2016 23:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes · 28/07/2016 23:41

Talking about money is soooo cringey. I'd say the same as her.

Why did you want to know?

DailyFaily · 28/07/2016 23:45

My OH wouldn't be able to tell you whether we get CB (we do) - I deal with all of our finances, I don't think it's particularly odd.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 28/07/2016 23:47

I think it's odd not to know, but some women people are like that & have no interest in their finances if someone else is ''sorting it out'. Or her DH gives her 'a house keeping allowance' and is very controlling.

Ditsy4 · 28/07/2016 23:49

Yes, I did but he moaned about how much I was spending, " sorry the kids had to eat while you were away" that I went back to work.
I wouldn't mind if I had been spending but I was very careful.