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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate bloody playdates?

18 replies

cocodidit1 · 28/07/2016 11:51

I just can be dealing with them. I feel like telling parents to feck off an entertain their own children! One parent in particular keeps arriving at my house to organise these stupid days. I can't hide from the fucking socialising of five year olds...

Rant over- seriously how do i put a stop to this shit?

I have two girls relatively close in age who play great together, anyone that comes in causes issues. We just don't need playdates...

OP posts:
JustHappy3 · 28/07/2016 11:55

They play together nicely now. They may not always. You may regret your decision later on when you are desperate for them to socialise and people turn their back on you.

Babybowser · 28/07/2016 11:57

I would do the play dates once a month I couldn't be arsed with it all the time but it's nice to see the kids play toghter X

Original poster
cocodidit1 · 28/07/2016 12:02

yeah, I know down the line they will probably want friends around more often. It must be my tiredness/weariness that is making me grumpy.

One of my kids has night terrors which I am trying to keep under control. She seems to be worse if she is over tired if someone has been here.

OP posts:
Babybowser · 28/07/2016 12:08

I here u coco I hate play dates but I try do sum thing at least once a week I have 2 girls close in age but they have problems getting along at the minute so I guess it's good to mix with others now and then I feel to tired for play dates all the time xx

spankhurst · 28/07/2016 12:58

I have an only child and I love playdates! They are a break for me. He plays with the other kid and I get to relax for a few hours. He is older than 5 though.

QuackDuckQuack · 28/07/2016 13:04

We have a list of people to come over and unless we are reciprocating, we work through them, slowly, in order.

JustHappy3 · 28/07/2016 13:10

Oh Coco - tiredness is a killer. Flowers I nearly bollocked next door's carpenter who woke dc up during nap time yesterday. Don't worry about being grumpy or canc elling playdates atm.

NotYoda · 28/07/2016 13:12

No-one will turn their back on you later in life. Do what suits you right now

NotYoda · 28/07/2016 13:18

People want playdates for their children because it's what they need for their children. You don't need it for your children, and in fact it causes you more stress, so just don't do it.

Original poster
cocodidit1 · 28/07/2016 13:43

I am a very sociable person outside the home, but at home with three kids under five and one with night terrors, I feel I am just about functioning!

I am probably been mean to the kids who wanna come but.........
And then if the oldest goes to the friend's house, the second girl is anxious (this is the one with the night terrors)

Sometimes its good to know you ain't alone and totally unreasonable in your thoughts

OP posts:
SpareHead3 · 28/07/2016 13:55

I also had three under 5 and felt the same tbh. The absolute last thing I needed was more children to manage and I was worn out as it was. The list to reciprocate was endless.

But the I realised worse was to come...sleepovers. Gawd who invented them? I'm still dealing with sleepovers now and dd2 is 15. Aargh!

HollyBollyBooBoo · 28/07/2016 13:59

If it causes more issues than it solves just don't do it, you don't owe anyone.

They really work for me as I have an only child and she has a small group of friends who can come over (one at a time) and play for hours either in the garden or with the Sylvanians up in her room - it's great for her and me frankly!

AndroidAddict · 28/07/2016 14:02

Ours haven't ever really had a playdate hate that term but they do play outside with the kid from next door. This is lovely - it's nice that they have a friend to play with and sometimes this lad's cousin, who happens to be in ds' class at school, comes to play too. I try not to stop it; in fact I try my best to encourage it because of all the reasons given above.

Oh my god though, it doesn't half stress me out something chronic! The noise. The mess! This kid coming into my house asking for drinks/lollies/sweets or coming in and tipping out all the Lego whilst mine are outside on the seesaw or their scooters! The tittle-tattling!

Don't get me wrong, he's a nice last but I do sometimes find myself wishing for rain so that he gets called in!

I hear you op; sometimes it's nice to just have a few days alone with your dc without others there, changing the dynamic. When people call over, or if your youngish dc are out playing elsewhere, you do feel kind of trapped because you're not able to just nip out or whatever. You kind of feel like you're on duty all day, if that makes sense.

Mari50 · 28/07/2016 14:33

I hate play dates, my DD has friends that live in our street so she plays with them after school and at weekends, play dates mean I have to reciprocate and it's a pain in the arse. When I was young I just went to your friends to play, the whole concept of play dates means there's a whole social etiquette to be observed and it's a pain in the arse. However I play along because I don't want people to know what an anti social bastard I am and I'm hoping my poor social skills won't rub off on my DD!!

maninawomansworld01 · 28/07/2016 15:16

YANBU they are awful when you host (but remember that yours will go to someone else's the next time).
We have a little group and we host once a month (4 kids so once a week at each other's houses), it's not too bad and we get 3 days in return where they are taken off our hands.

We have found that the key for us is to set a time (say 12pm - 4 pm), and make it very clear that youmdomexpect all kids to be gone shortly after 4!
Plan some activities for both good and bad weather, have snacks etc in stock.
We don't allow them to roam all over the place, we've a nice big playroom at the back which opens out onto the patio and lawns, there is a downstairs bathroom and they eat at the kitchen table so 90% of the house is off limits - that way it doesn't get trashed.

Dbsparkles · 28/07/2016 15:32

I wish we had people to have play dates with. Surely it can't be such a hardship having people to play every now and then.

LovelyBath77 · 28/07/2016 16:05

I know what you mean- sometimes it can be difficult when they ask you outright.

You could say something like you'll think about it and get back to them, and then maybe arrange something in like a couple of weeks, something easy like seeing them at the park for an hour or so. Then if they bring it up remind them of the raged date and how you have plans till then (plans can just be you being with yours you don't need to explain). Good luck x

thepenguinsrock · 28/07/2016 16:12

Urgh I completely agree with you I hate being cornered in the playground by a complete stranger who wants to invite your child around for tea with the underlying expectation that you will have their little darling over to your house soon after, especially when all you hear is horror stories about said child most days 😤
I'm incredibly anti social though 😂

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