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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be hurt about this

23 replies

lady2016 · 27/07/2016 20:57

I really need to know from strangers if am bu
Am going though a miscarriage that won't shift by meds so am pretty all over the place.
My 5 mouth.old was admitted to hospital on Sunday due to breathing problems (floppy larynx ) . I called my sister asking for her to drop some stuff of so I didn't have to leave him this was 8 ish at night she asked why my Dh couldn't I said dd was in bed and she was unwell so couldn't leave her. She then asked what I needed I said his bottles and clothes as he's been sick on all this clothes she said the hospital will provide that I said only bottles but he won't take the teat I already tried for hrs. She then said she's tried and staying with her boyfriend so no I stared crying (hard day with a screaming hungry baby) she said stop trying to make me feel bad I said am sorry then bye . I ended up washing his bottle with water and put milk they give meSad . Anyway heard nothing from her not even to ask if he's OK I texted her to say they're keeping him in an extra day due to a hard night she texted back saying if I need stuff she will drop it off . I said she can vist if she wants heard nothing back in till I asked if she was she said she was tried and at her boyfriends. I haven't heard anything from her .please note I don't ask anything from her at all . He's out now awaiting surgery Sad

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 27/07/2016 21:07

She really let you and your DS down, you are right to feel hurt.

Sorry about your miscarriage. I hope that she feels bad enough to be a support for you, in anyway, if you need to be admitted to hospital and afterwards.

Pauperback · 27/07/2016 21:11

Your sister sounds appalling. So sorry about the miscarriage, OP, and hope your baby recovers rapidly.

You do sound slightly as if you let her off the hook in both conversations you report, though - though I can appreciate you're probably too tired and distracted to be direct and say 'Can I just check that you are actually refusing to drop off bottles and clean clothes for a hospitalised five month while I am having a miscarriage?'

RubbleBubble00 · 27/07/2016 21:13

She's rubbish. Don't bother to contact her anymore. If your really stuck get dh to stuck stuff in a taxi and send it down. Usually wards have sterilisers so if you have one bottle ask to wash it in kitchen and use their steriliser. They should have spare clothes too.

Original poster
lady2016 · 27/07/2016 21:25

I needed the stuff while waiting for a bed .tbh I never thought about taxi dropping stuff of will they do that?

OP posts:
Scotmumof2girls · 27/07/2016 21:27

YANBU definitely not! She's your sister and should have some sense and compassion for what you are going though. If suggest respond in kind the next time she asks you for something but that would mean dropping to her level.

I hope things get better for you all soon though X X

Cguk81 · 27/07/2016 21:28

Flowers for you. You have a lot on your plate right now and your sister sounds useless and very selfish. But try and keep your stress levels down, forget about it for now and you can speak to her about it another time when you are through this. Focus on your ds, DD and yourself.

Nanny0gg · 27/07/2016 21:29

Yes they will and your sister is a cow.

Hope all of you are better soon.

Sorry for what you're going through.

Flowers
YouSay · 27/07/2016 21:29

Awful. Poor you op. Is there some one else you could ask?

YorkieDorkie · 27/07/2016 21:49

At a time like this the last thing you need to be doing is getting upset over bottles. She should have made sure that wasn't an issue for you and taken it all off your mind. YWNBU in the slightest. I'm so sorry for your MC and hope your little one is feeling better soon SadFlowers.

Original poster
lady2016 · 27/07/2016 21:50

Next time I'd get the taxi I think. We don't have anyone else to ask sadly . Thanks just now I don't trust my own judgement as am all over the place

OP posts:
50ShadesOfEarlGrey · 27/07/2016 21:51

What a dreadful situation, made so much worse by your sisters attitude. It is a sad fact that this will remain with you always unless you make the decision to deal with it. Either decide to let it go, or wait a few weeks, until you are in a better place and cannot be accused of being emotional, and then tell your sister how it made you feel.

Flowers and Chocolate

toptoe · 27/07/2016 21:56

They have sterilising kits - ask the nurse about it. You pop the bottle in a bag with a bit of water and microwave it. They have them in maternity wards. The last thing the nurses want is your baby dehydrated and not feeding. explain it to them about the teat and how you only have one and ask for a sterilising bag.

Original poster
lady2016 · 27/07/2016 22:05

As I said we were waiting for a bed so still in A&E which apart from milk and teats don't have sterilisation he didn't go up till 11 at night so I had no choice but to wash it myself (I did ask about)

OP posts:
Amelie10 · 27/07/2016 22:14

Yanbu, your sister is really horrible. It's not like an everyday situation and it shows her true colours. My sister would drop everything and come to help at 1am if I needed her.
Hope your little one is doing okFlowers

SecretLimonadeDrinker · 27/07/2016 22:20

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Your sister really let you down, she is bvu, hope your LO is ok.

hazeimcgee · 27/07/2016 22:20

Your sis was realy insensitive. Only you know if she's generally a cow, got somethi g else bothering her or just didn't knkw how to xope with your miscarriage and poorly baby. I'd try to let it go for now and as pp said, being it up calmly later on. Is there a mutual and supporitve parent perhaps you could talk to.

Really hope things start getting better for you soon hun and everything goes ok with lo's op xx

Ghanagirl · 27/07/2016 22:26

I'm so sorry OPSad YANBU at all but unfortunately sometimes family are just crap!
Is there anyone else who can help you?
I've found friends that I made through baby groups or school are usually much more helpful...

toptoe · 27/07/2016 22:31

I misread it and thought you were still stuck without bottles and teats. It's hard when you're moving about in a hospital. Sometimes it's pot luck who you speak to.

Your sister should have helped you of course...and should not have berated you for crying.

Hope your little one gets better soon.

NorksAreMessy · 27/07/2016 22:32

I would have been very hurt as well, that is rubbish.
Now, the sisterhood of vipers will come to your aid. where are you, love?

Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 27/07/2016 22:44

Yanbu.

Don't contact your sister again until you feel emotionally strong enough to cope with her apparent lack of care and you are able to deal with her appropriately.

I hope your DD and DS both get well soon, and you too. What a horrible situation Flowers

Memoires · 27/07/2016 23:08

Oh you poor thing, what a mean, selfish thing to do.

As Norks says, whereabouts are you? It may well be that someone on mn can pick up and deliver some stuff to you; it's happened before.

facebookrecruit · 27/07/2016 23:20

Your sister is a fucking bitch.
Hope your DS gets better really soon Flowers

Original poster
lady2016 · 27/07/2016 23:23

Sorry for mix up he got discharged on Tues but waiting surgery. He OK enough now I ended up going home to pick stuff up when he was in ward and came back. I showed dh this and he wants me to say that I went because I wanted to and if I started bleeding there's nurses to look after him whist at home it would just be me and dd (she's OK now to)

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