not to let DS sleep with his girlfriend in our house..yet.. but when?

[Doingmybestmum]

DS is 17 and so is his girlfriend (who is v lovely). She stayed over a while ago and he ended up in her bed - I don't think anything happened but I wasn't best pleased. They have been together for 2 weeks. AIBU and old fashioned? When is enough time passed? Any thoughts would be gratefully received... thanks.

I would definitely have some sort of rule in place for staying over or it could be 3/4 different girls over the next few months which I would not want. I like the PPs idea of girl/boy friends who have been together for 6 months. Although I would almost certainly be harsher than that!!

Me and my now hubby weren't allowed to sa

when they are married

Why do they need an expensive piece of paper to share a bed

How did the gf end up in your ds bed a while ago if they've only been going out for 2 weeks?

My db has a 'his house, his rules' policy, so when dnephew's girlfriend went to stay, they were, and remained, in separate rooms. They are both at uni. However, in db's defence, they are living in an ME country, which whilst liberal on the surface, may not be quite so liberal underneath, and he didn't want any boats rocked iyswim.

Sorry! Bloody phone!! We weren't allowed to stay in same room at my parents for ages, I think we had been together over 8 months (living together) and I was around 24!! But was actually my dad who said we could in the end!!! Previous boyfriends allowed to stay but in separate rooms.

Scarydinosaurs

You have no idea how some parents will react. You ave no idea how strict some parents are.

You could be opening this young woman up to a lot of trouble, from parents not being impressed to physical violence or be removed from education and sent to another school/college/to live with other relatives.

In an ideal world you would be able to inform parents but this is the real world.

If they are the kind of parents who don't mind, then she will have told them, if they are the strict parents I have come across then she certainly won't.

When I was 18 I was going away for a few days with now-DH and his parents. My dad rang up DH's parents to check that we would be having separate rooms. They reassured him yes. I nearly died. A week later we both went away to university and spent a large portion of our time staying in each others rooms anyway, of course.

I don't know what my point is really, except probably the futility of pretending something isn't happening when it blatantly is.

I allowed my 15 yr olds boyfriend to sleep here after they had been together 6 months. I think each child is different and not sure what I'll do when my 13 yr old wants her boyfriend to start staying over. At 17 though I don't think I'd have any issues.

He's 17 and I assume you done the safe sex talk long ago so I'd be ok with girlfriends staying.

I didn't have a boyfriend until I met DH at 18 but he often stayed over then but with my brother my parents said having actual girlfriends over was fine but he wasn't to bring a one night stand home

If they're going to DTD they're going to do it. Would you rather they did it in the comfort and safety of one of their homes or somewhere altogether less appealing like the back of a car in a semi-public place?

If it embarrasses you just remember that your DS has no doubt endured many nights trying to block out the sounds of your creaking bed springs so this is payback for him.

When they are married?

Fuck am i supposed to be 35 yr old virgin? Im never getting married so.....

Im with chit they probably at it already

If my 13 year old DD wanted her boyfriend to stay over, I'd remind her that i don't condone underage sex. And I'd be having words with boyfriend too

I assume you done the safe sex talk long ago

Do people seriously do this? Have a "talk" about safe sex?

Buy him some condoms and leave them to it!

the schoolchildren are on holiday

Whenever you feel comfortable OP. If they choose to have sex in the back of a car in the meantime that's their concern.

How did she stay over a 'while ago' if they've been together for 2 weeks??!

Was this last Thursday than?

And how do you know she's a 'very lovely girl' if you've only known her for 2 weeks?

Concludes the 2 weeks must be a typo

I'm definitely not prudish but I would wait until they are in a more established relationship before allowing her to sleep over. It's not the fact that they are 17, merely the fact that they have only been together 2 weeks.

I'm rethinking my plan of being the sort of person who just rings the other parents...in my ideal world my DDs are only going to date the children of reasonable people who I can call and have reasonable conversations with. Crap. 13 years before I have to worry about this. May start pushing the idea of a nunnery.

IMO it's your house, your rules. All these others going in about hw old they are, let them get on with are missing the point I think. It's about OP having an isue with them being sexually active, it's about them doing it in her house I wouldn't be happy if they were my children. Maybe when they've been together a while but not two weeks

Schools out for summer

*Not about OP having an issue

It is really how long they have been together that counts when is it OK to allow them to share a room at your house. We are currently in this position with 17 &16 Yr old SD's

we have told them house rule is no sharing rooms as 17 year old brought random bloke back we had never met and spent the night with him.

If she wants to shag to her hearts content she can do it elsewhere.

It has been 2 weeks. And her mum expressely asked that they didn't share. Tempted by 3 months. He's 18 in Nov.