Organising a baby shower

[frenchielala]

One of my oldest friends is due to have a baby in Oct and has asked me to organise her a baby shower. For various reasons her actual wedding earlier this year was shotgun and though the groom managed to squeeze in a stag do she never got a hen so she would like this to be a "late hen and baby shower combined".

There are 10 people she wants to invite. She wants a surprise. Before I go out to the group - AIBU with my suggestions:

1. Afternoon tea as it is a nice thing to do whilst not drinking but still the option for a glass of champagne, if fancied. The place is £22.50 each and i'm happy to also cover mum to be. I would bring along a game or too.

OR

1. Put on some food, drinks and games on at mine - that way no one will have to pay out as I am happy to cater BUT I live the other side of London to most of the guests so bit of an arse for transport.. and is that just a bit boring?

I'm leaning towards afternoon tea as I think it is a bit more fun but I'm not the most money conscious and I don't want to make people feel like it is too expensive as I'm sure most people will also bring a gift. Don't worry there will be no baby gift list!

What do you think? Other than me, she is the only one of the 10 to have had a baby and I've never been to a shower before. Or other suggestions?

Surely a baby shower should be something that someone offers to throw for you and not something you ask someone to arrange for you?! Do whatever is easiest for you!

I would tell her to forget the grabbity-grab bit and just have a nice pre-baby civilised lunch with her mates, no presents. Good opportunity to catch up before the food throwing starts.

presents come when the baby does.

if your gang like party games, fine. If not...don't even think about it!

If its a combined hen/shower I would go with the afternoon tea. Means that there is less for you to do, except get numbers, money and book (so no nasty washing up and prep!!). Check with the place though, they may not appreciate 'games'!! Also look on Groupon or Wowcher as they often have afternoon tea deals :)

Get money up front from the participants as you may end up paying for no shows and tight wads!

So she as asked you to organise a party but given no indication of what she wants?

When you say surprise, do you mean she won't know the date or what you are doing and act all surprised when she turns up somewhere and you are all there? At a party she asked for?

And people will have to pay £22.50 plus buy a present?

I think you can try your best but a few might not show up, whatever you do. She knows you live out of the way, so won't be doing it there.

Can't you do it at hers (assuming she lives near the others) and it not be a fake surprise?

Afternoon tea and for the love of God no party games.

Also, expect some people to decline. Baby showers are very much not everyone's cup of tea.

I can't believe she asked you to organise it. Isn't that something which is done as a surprise.

At £22.50 a head plus present plus traveling expenses i'd contact all 10 and ask each one to be totally honest about weather they'd be ok with this, as you don't want any no shows and you want everyone to be equally happy. Or if they'd rather go to yours, or can they think of anything cheaper?

Then look at all your answers and see what you've got.

I'd email or text them all, by the way, to give them the opportunity to be honest and not caught on the hop :)

That is very grabby, you don't ask someone to host a babyshower for you, and ask it to be a surprise, defeats the whole object. Go with afternoon tea, or back at yours.

Hmmm. I think if she wants to ask a close friend to organise a get together with girlfriends to celebrate wedding/new baby and ask for the details to be a surprise that's no different from a bride asking bridesmaids to organise a hen do. If people don't want to spend £30 going, they don't have to. If they're close friends and want to spend that on a lovely afternoon out then they can.

If you're worried about being grabby say 'this is a celebration of x's wedding and baby to be, just to be clear - she absolutely doesn't want gifts, just your company'.

Both your ideas sound good op. I'd go for afternoon tea and games. If you're worried about cost, email individually or email with both options and ask which people would prefer.

that's no different from a bride asking bridesmaids to organise a hen do.

I have never been to a hen do where the bride has had no input and asked for someone to organise it as a 'surprise' or that presents were expected at.