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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to choose the trip..

20 replies

waffilyversati1e · 12/07/2016 10:32

Just had a call from the music teacher at school to "remind" me that it is my daughters grade 1 violin exam tomorrow. This is the absolute first I have heard about it and said daughter is going on a school trip tomorrow to have a victorian day which was paid for over a month ago and for which I have made/bought a victorian costume.

Her violin tutor says that he emailed me back in April but I didn't get an email from him. The lady I spoke to is going to get him to ring me but wth do I say?!

I feel bad that the school will have paid for and organised this exam but my daughter will be upset if she has to miss her trip (as will I because of the money I will lose when she doesn't go)

Obviously her violin exam is important too. Arghhhhh!!

OP posts:
hastheworldgonemad · 12/07/2016 10:35

It's grade 1 so hardly the Albert Hall.

She can do that anytime the examiner is free and from my experience when a parent is paying they are free. Wink violin lessons cost us a fortune.

Send her on the trip of course.

Stillunexpected · 12/07/2016 10:40

Why on earth would school have paid for the violin exam? Surely you should have had to pay for it in which case, as you haven't, it isn't booked. Wouldn't your daughter also have told you at some point that she had an exam?

I think she has to go on the trip but I disagree with the poster who said she can do the exam any time the examiner is free. If this is a recognised exam through a board like Trinity the examiners cover a huge area and will only be in a particular centre a few days each exam season. If you miss tomorrow, you will need to pay again and have her take the exam in the next cycle, probably Oct/Nov.

Scarydinosaurs · 12/07/2016 10:41

Can she do both?

Original poster
waffilyversati1e · 12/07/2016 11:04

She is very fortunate in that the school cover the fees for her violin lessons and exams. So no. I would have had no part in the booking process - I would still have expected more than 24 hours notice mind you.

She can't do both unfortunately, the trip is a couple of hours drive away.

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 12/07/2016 11:08

Music exams aren't normally free.

Surely she has been practising her specific 3 pieces or whatever it is now?

Music exams were a big deal when I was a child maybe it's not so these days.

Is it just a school run thing maybe? not a Royal Schools exam board type exam?

Only1scoop · 12/07/2016 11:09

How old is your dd?

Has she been doing all her exam associated practise?

Original poster
waffilyversati1e · 12/07/2016 11:15

She practices every day at school and some days at home but tbh (and I know this makes me sound like a crap mum) I haven't noticed her practicing anything specifically other than for a concert they performed last week. Sad

Her younger brother is 2 so is a handful and her older brother is being bullied so maybe my focus has been off her because she is (currently) the easy one. I have triple checked though and definitely no word from the tutor about her exam.

OP posts:
Original poster
waffilyversati1e · 12/07/2016 11:15

she's 10

OP posts:
Arkwright · 12/07/2016 11:21

I would see if they can rearrange the exam. My Dd has just done a grade 1 with a different instrument the exam was £38. It seems unfair the school would lose the money.

trafalgargal · 12/07/2016 11:28

I'd reschedule the exam (and ask the music teacher to forward you the original email advising you of the exam)

Mouikey · 12/07/2016 11:28

I'm not experiences at school things, but if it is an exam arranged through school, and the trip is a school trip, don't they talk to each other??? Ask if the exam can be rescheduled for the next round, just tell him that you never received the email, that you have committed your daughter to the trip (surely her not going would be a bigger impact on the school?) and that you are willing to pay the exam fee.

RhiWrites · 12/07/2016 11:49

They didn't notify you. They didn't get a reply from you and they're "double checking" the day before? The exam will have to be (re)arranged for a day she doesn't have a prior commitment and with sensible notice.

Only1scoop · 12/07/2016 12:21

In my experience Op your dd would know if she was practising for an exam....relevant pieces, scales, sight reading etc. Speak to her about it. It's not something she could just turn up to if she's not prepared.

Seems strange at 10 she didn't know about it from her teacher.

Only1scoop · 12/07/2016 12:22

It's not always as easy to reschedule she may have to wait for next exams.

BertrandRussell · 12/07/2016 12:26

I cannot imagine either of mine going in for a music exam without telling me about it! And the sudden panicky increase in scales was always a giveaway anyway!

WorraLiberty · 12/07/2016 12:27

The tuition and exams are free here too.

But it's quite odd that her violin teacher hasn't mentioned it to her. My DS was practicing like mad around exam time, as were the rest of the violin students.

Original poster
waffilyversati1e · 12/07/2016 12:30

I have just spoken to her tutor. The pieces she was practicing for her performance assembly were the same as her exam. He couldn't see any record of me being told about it so I asked him to reschedule it which will be in Autumn. Just looks like a lapse in communication within the school tbh because he said he was given a sheet of trips/commitments to plan his lessons for the year around and this trip wasn't even on the sheet.

OP posts:
spaghettithrower · 12/07/2016 12:50

Surprised that so many people think the exam can be rescheduled so easily.
If this is an exam taken through one of the boards such as ABRSM, Trinity etc. pupils are entered for the exam and initially there is a longer time-frame in which the exam could take place. Nearer the time (but certainly with more than one day's notice) the teacher would be informed of the exact date. At that point the teacher could then have applied to the board for a possible change of date due to the clash with the trip. However, it could not be guaranteed. An examiner is sent out on a particular day or days to an exam centre. There is no possibility of rescheduling last minute.
If your daughter is entered for this type of exam, then you can choose whether she goes on the trip or goes to the exam but the money will not be refunded and she would have to be re-entered for the exam for the November/December session.

However, it all sounds very bizarre so I suspect that it is some kind of "Local Authority" or school exam where the teacher asks a colleague to come in and exam the children playing certain pieces and scales. This happens in the LA where I used to work. The LA used the ABRSM syllabus and pieces and issued their own certificates thereby saving the parents money on the entrance fees. There was no checking of standards and in fact every child passed.
In this case, I think it is out of order that the teacher arranged the exams without checking if school trips were on. Sounds like the teacher is not that great at organization to be honest.

I would ask him what kind of exam this is when he phones up - whether it is an exam with a recognized board or something locally administered. Then you can decide what to do. Personally, she'd be going on the trip if it was one of these school/LA type exams. If it was ABRSM, I would want to know who had paid the fee etc and why you hadn't been informed of the date in good time. If I hadn't paid the fee I would ask for her to be withdrawn and send her on the trip.

Sounds chaotic.....

Stillunexpected · 12/07/2016 12:54

Spaghetti I would be surprised if you could change even as late as when you get the date for the exam. We have done such a mixture of music exams in this house I can't quite remember, but at least one, and maybe more, music boards require you to put down any dates on the application form that you can't do the exam and once you receive the date it is too late to change. I remember once not even being able to change the time on the same day as the administrator told me the days were so stuffed with exams they didn't have a single free slot.

Also, to be fair to the teacher, he had been provided with an incomplete list of school trips by the office so no way he could/should have known there was a clash.

spaghettithrower · 12/07/2016 12:56

Sorry cross-posted... so it is a local administered exam then and it's all sorted? That's great!

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