To be a bit upset, but is it worth bringing up?

[MegCleary]

DH birthday next week and we have been trying to sort baby sitter with not much luck for us to go out for dinner and few drinks. I said should I try a girl we have not used for awhile or are you now bothered and he said not bothered so I left it.
Now I love going out to dinner and he usually does I find we chat better. I love making a big birthday fuss etc and he not usually fussy.

He has bought himself a big pressie.

Aibu to ask why he doesn't want us to try harder to get out together or leave it as his choice.

First world problem.

It's his birthday if his not fussed then leave it. It would be a different story if it was your birthday or you had both spoken about a date night type of thing.

You did offer. If you wanted to go, why give him the option not too? It suggests you don't mind either way.

Text the girl and ask if she'd be free, then tell DH she is free (if she is) and say you'd like to celebrate with him if he'd like to go.

I think you havr made it seem like you were not bothered by asking if you should bother contacting the babysitter.
If you want to go out call the sitter.. why do you need to ask DH if he wants to try harder?!? Cant you arrange it yourself?
In our house the birthday person doesnt do any of the organising.. they are getting treated (even if it is from a joint pot as ours is)

it's his birthday so his choice I reckon.

That's two separate things really.

If you feel he doesn't try hard enough for your two to go out together, that's worth having a talk about.

But it's got nothing to do with his birthday. He just doesn't sound as fussed about them as you do.

Some people aren't that fussed by birthdays.

Can you not have a special dinner at home?

How often do you go out? I think couples do need time out together or relationships do get stale.

We go out together maybe 3-4 times a year. Yes I suppose I am worried that he is not fussed about 'our adult time' I am probably overthinking it.

Book the babysitter! It's one of those questions where it's impossible to double guess what the questioner really wants now you have his answer you do know.
Have a lovely evening.

i hate being asked if i want go out for my birthday or anniversaries and if asked id probably say no as id feel as though the other person was hoping id say no (yes i know its a bit messed up), just book the babysitter

You could always just surprise him with a reservation somewhere nice and hopefully find a babysitter?

My DH was a bit like that one Father's Day saying he didn't want to do anything. But I went ahead and booked a day out. Glad I did as I pretended I had nothing planned and he looked a bit disappointed.

I'm sure you're DH loves spending time with you as a couple. Even if you can't go out, get the kids to bed early and sit and have a nice meal together to celebrate over a bottle of wine.

I'll just mention it tonight and see if he would just like me to sort it or if he would prefer a nice meal at home.
I really feel we connect differently on a night out. Getting dressed up, people watching etc

Hilarious DH just asked if I had any luck with the babysitter! Me tying myself in knots worrying he had lost interest in 'us' socialising.

Probably won't get one now 😉

Just read this thread. Glad to read your update OP - he wants a night out with you - good luck with the babysitter and have a fab dinner out