to pamper ds when he is poorly

[kiki22]

He's 4 and has chicken pox he's tired and hardly eating so I'm letting him do as he pleases so he's been sat in my bed all day watching Netflix, I've let him have sweets even though he's hardly eaten anything whatever is cheering him up really. I always run around after him and pander to him when he's ill.

MIL thinks I should make him get up and sit down in the living room with me and make him eat something. I have no intention of doing either he's little and feeling crap he can do what makes him feel the least crappy just wondering if its unreasonable to pamper poorly kids? I think its unreasonable to want him to pull it together.

Of course, YANBU! (Although, trying to get him to eat a little of something nutritious wouldn't be a bad idea either.)

I am a bit inclined to kind but brisk- if he's feeling really grim then obviously a bit of pampering is a good thing, but generally I think it's important to encourage a get on with it attitude and to treat minor illnesses as an inconvenience rather than a drama. And yes more sweets than usual, but a bit of real food too-he'll feel better for it if he's eating at all. So I'm with mil, I'm afraid!

Your child, do as you please. However it depends how "poorly" they really are though. Perhaps your mil sees something in his manner that makes her think he's putting it on a little, its not always easy to see that when its your own child. I think its not unreasonable to pamper as long as you remind them they are only getting pampered because they are ill, wouldn't want it to spill over in to non ill territory.

bert chicken pox isnt a minor illness... My DD was hospitalised in isolation for 5 days in a childrens hospital. Day 1 and 2 she wasnt that bad, but by day 3 she was barely conscious and had a very serious secondary infection.

OP - hes only little. different if he was 12+ then they have to learn that things like a cold dont mean lying in bed all day but at 4 they are so wee, they need to feel coddled and cwtched. YANBU

Oracle cp is different in different dc. Some have it mild so it would be a mild illness and some have it worse.

My ds was so poorly with cp he couldn't even watch TV or eat sweets.

If you can get him to eat an actual meal he'll probably feel better. Just eating sweets will make him feel worse. Nothing wrong with staying in bed and Netflixing for a few days when really ill but as he wants to eat sweets I wouldn't say he was that bad with it.

Yes cp can definitely vary. One of my dc nly had a few spots and apart from some minor irritation when they rubbed on clothes was right as rain. The other one was covered in spots and very unwell.
I say pamper them if they're really poorly but trying to tempt him to something healthy to eat (something he really likes) will probably help him feel a bit better. So neither of you are particularly bu imo.

He ate a Weetabix then didn't want anything else my mum brought him a milky way so he ate some of that not another thing all day no matter what I offer him very unlike him not to want to eat, luckily he's been drinking so not all bad. Hes also been up a few times a night with a very high temp so is tired from a few nights broken sleep. Since we cant leave the house anyway and the rain is making the garden a no no making him get up and play is just daft.

MIL hasn't seen him only spoke to me by phone she says if I don't get him up and active he will be up all night and unless he eats a full meal he shouldn't get the sweet, he will think that from now on he gets them as and when. MIL thinks if kids are not ruled with an iron fist they will be wild awful children.

Of course some children are really poorly with chicken pox. But most arn't. And I really don't think it's a good idea to pander too much to mild illness. As I said, kind briskness seems to me to be the best way. "Oh what a shame-never mind, you'll be better soon"

I would be inclined to do what you are doing - last year my then 5 year old had chicken pox and I had never seen her so ill. I think she also went off her food and just watched lots of Peppa/other kids stuff which she couldn't really concentrate on. 4 is so little and chicken pox is awful!

I say of course you should let him rest if he needs it, but sweets on an empty stomach will only make him feel worse

Oh and this is day 3 the last 2 days he's been up and about and eaten little but properly.

I don't see why Bertrand Russell's approach and the OP's approach can't be combined: a brisk oh-well-what-a-shame combined with I'm-going-to-spoil-you-a-bit-today-because-I-can.

That was always my mum's approach to illness: she was very far from being a drama queen, but enjoyed cheering people up when they were feeling a bit rough. I don't see why a duvet day with Netflix is going to do someone any harm just because they may not actually be dying. When I have a bad cold on a non-working day I stay in bed and read The Three Musketeers. It may not be medically indicated, but it doesn't lead to permanent health damage either. And it's nice.

Exactly what cory said.

(Only probably not The Three Musketeers )

I don't know really. I think that probably eating something is likely to make him feel less crappy? Unless nauseous obviously. Eating sweets and no meals obviously makes you feel rubbish. But, yes, everyone needs to rest when they're ill. I'm personally not a fan of TV in bed as it can lead to sleep problems. And if you're not actually sleeping, it can be a bit grim to be in be all day while ill? I think you're a bit unreasonable insofar as you're implying your mil is suggesting being mean - she just has a different idea of what is best.

The point that not getting out of bed and dozing all day will make you sleep badly isn't 'ruling with an iron fist' - it's just what happens. Obviously he might sleep through if he's fighting an infection though.

I do this, except I let him eat fruit all day rather than rubbish. It's actually what he craves when he's I'll anyway - Barny Bear is relegated to the back of the cupboard by his own choice! And of course I pamper him. One of my loveliest childhood memories is my lovely mum bringing me soup and cuddles.

Ds is barely ever ill, so I know immediately when he's really poorly. As soon as his appetite is back and he's chatting like normal normal service and house rules resume - including tidying up after himself!