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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask DH to come home?

21 replies

Loulou0 · 05/07/2016 11:13

More of a wwyd as I'm genuinely not sure.

I'm sick. Headache, motion sickness, vomiting. Been up since midnight as I was being sick and couldn't get back to sleep. I've also got a slipped disc. So generally feeling like shit.
I am at home with a 10 week old and 3yr old.

I'm sure that if I asked DH , he'd come home from work so I can go to bed.

But this isn't what sahms do is it?? (I'm on mat leave so technically a sahm for now)

I'm sure I'm just supposed to get on with it and deal with the dcs while I'm ill right?

I don't normally get this ill so this hasn't cropped up before.

So AIBU to ask him to come home and take the kids off me for the rest of the day ..?

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 05/07/2016 11:14

Of course ring him!

BerylMeeps · 05/07/2016 11:16

I wouldn't feel safe looking after a toddler and a baby if I had motion sickness, never mind the other stuff. I'd call him, or someone else, as an emergency.

NeedACleverNN · 05/07/2016 11:17

Ring him!

If you are so sick you are incapable of being responsible for two children, you need help.

pippinandtog · 05/07/2016 11:17

Loulou, you say he would come home if you ask him, so do just that and get to bed.
A good sleep and you could feel much better.
You have to look after each other as well as the children.

KayTee87 · 05/07/2016 11:20

Call him. If you were working outside the home I bet you'd take a day off sick when feeling this bad.
Get well soon Flowers

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 05/07/2016 11:21

I've asked DH to come home before when I had a migraine. And that was before they got as bad as they currently are.

ChicRock · 05/07/2016 11:22

All that with a 10 week old baby - yes I'd ring him to come home.

GeorgeTheThird · 05/07/2016 11:23

Ring him. You've made it this far, he can take half a day if he leaves in an hour. Better than taking a full day.

Original poster
Loulou0 · 05/07/2016 11:24

Thanks , yes , I'll call him.
Just needed some reassurance that I wasn't being pathetic
Thanks

OP posts:
MrsJoeyMaynard · 05/07/2016 11:27

Yes, call him.

I've known colleagues with a partner who's a SAHM take time off work to look after their children when their partner is ill. You're not obliged to struggle on alone when you're feeling really ill just because you're currently a SAHM.

allowlsthinkalot · 05/07/2016 11:29

I would ring him. I'm a sahm of four and I have on two occasions asked dh to come home because I was too ill to look after them. When they're old enough to just watch telly while you sleep that's a different matter but babies and toddlers are different.

NeedACleverNN · 05/07/2016 11:29

I once called my dh home because I couldn't get my ds to stop crying. He had been screaming for 4 hours since 5 am. I was exhausted, knackered and extremely tearful. Burst into tears as soon as his boss answered the phone. She was lovely bless her and went and fetched him immediately and sent him home.

I needed that support right then. You obviously need it too

Original poster
Loulou0 · 05/07/2016 11:36

Allow you're right. The toddler is watching YouTube rubbish but the baby has shat through his nappy twice and I can't get him to settle. He wants me to carry him round and jiggle him etc but I can't !

thanks everyone for the responses

OP posts:
LivingOnTheDancefloor · 05/07/2016 11:37

I would call him and ask him to take the afternoon off if he doesn't have important meetings planned. I am a part time SAHM with 2 small children.
My "rule" is that if I feel so bad that I would have taken the day off work (which was quite rare though) then I try to arrange for help with the children, even if only a couple of hours.
If DH can't take the afternoon off maybe ask him to come home a bit early and then you go rest as soon as he gets in.

NotMyMoney · 05/07/2016 11:45

I had to call DH home twice one I was having fits when pregnant with DC2 and when I had a migraine Angry that lasted 3 days Sad

trafalgargal · 05/07/2016 11:46

Unreasonable with a toddler who you can stick in front of the tv , reasonable with a baby who needs more hands on care than you can provide.

HeteronormativeHaybales · 05/07/2016 11:57

I think the 10wk old swings it.

I've done this once - got dh to collect dc for me and bring them home (I think he might have gone back to work afterwards) as I was feeling dreadful and deteriorating. Turned out I had pneumonia.

I once had a d&v bug when dh was away for work. That was fun. Mine were older than yours are, but still needed care. I remember crawling on the kitchen floor while they watched DVDs.

If your baby is anything like mine you'll need some support.

waitingforsomething · 05/07/2016 12:12

DH stayed home for 3 days when I had a toddler and a baby and had shingles. I couldn't look after them. If you are sick then call him.

BagPusscatnip · 05/07/2016 12:36

God yes. Phone him.

I had a stomach ulcer when DD2 was 3 months old. It was the most pain I have ever been in. I could hardly move let alone pick up my children. My DH had to stay at home to look after both DDs until I was well enough (about 3 days)

scampimom · 05/07/2016 12:46

Awh bless you, hope you feel better soon. Personally I would try to ring someone for help if I thought I might be dangerous - the possibility of you falling over with baby in your arms is quite likely, and that would worry me enough to at least ask for help.

BrendaFurlong · 05/07/2016 12:50

Yes, call him
I had labyrinthitis when DD1 was a toddler. I couldn't lift my head from the pillow without vomiting or passing out. If my DF hadn't rescued me by taking DD1 for the day I would have called DH to come home.

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