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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be upset about daughter getting lip fillers?

24 replies

Salsaandchips · 01/07/2016 23:30

She is 19 and technically an adult so I know I don't really have much say on what she is doing but to me she is still so young to want to alter her face.

Also a chance it could fuck up and she looks awful.

OP posts:

UterusUterusGhali · 01/07/2016 23:32

Crikey. That is young. The Kardashian effect?

Yes it can go horribly wrong.

I know she's an adult but I'd feel upset about it too.

CaptainCrunch · 01/07/2016 23:35

Fillers are unnecessary at any age.

MitzyLeFrouf · 01/07/2016 23:36

YANBU

It's weird that fillers have become as normal to her age group as having a pedicure or a haircut. Lip fillers often look obviously 'done', I don't blame you for not being thrilled at the prospect.

Hockeydude · 01/07/2016 23:37

I don't know why people do this. I would feel the same in your position.

MizK · 01/07/2016 23:39

If she is very conservative with the amount it should look OK. I know one woman who has hers done and it is actually subtle and flattering as she has the lowest amount.

I understand your concern though, hate the thought of my DD wanting fillers. It's a shame that obvious 'enhancements' are a desirable look. They aren't cheap and can look insane. If you can't dissuade her at least make sure she does her homework and doesn't just go anywhere as she will be stuck with the results for months.

Voddy4 · 02/07/2016 00:49

Show her stories and pictures of botched lip filler jobs so she at least can see how wrong it can go, she's far too young!

branofthemist · 02/07/2016 05:53

Yanbu. But if I were you I would be supportive and make sure she finds someone good.

I have never had them, but I have lots of friends who do. Some look good, some are awful.

The best ones all used the same woman in Newcastle. She is really strict about what she will do. She won't pump loads in.

A few friends here in Yorkshire managed to find people that would keep adding it as long as they paid. They seemed to have the initial fillers, then want more, then more. And the people doing it didn't seem to care as long as they were getting paid. Then they started looking awful.

Henrysmycat · 02/07/2016 06:11

When I was a student (grew up in another country), I used to help at a beauty therapist institute. I come from the Mediterranean. Beauty is a huge business and she was the best by far in my city. Really into it and always at the forefront. I didn't do much except preping skin and making sure all tolls were sterilised and things in their place. Anyway, that was in the early 90's and procedures were coming on. Over the years, when I got home, I go there and still help as she's now my friend and I love the subject. Over the years, I've seen some real atrocities. She's under incredible pressure to provide such services and

Henrysmycat · 02/07/2016 06:23

My phone hates me.
She doesn't provide such services as she's not a qualified dermatologist. Now, because of her more pare down approach people come to see if they can reverse stuff.
She can't. She sends them to surgeons and dermatologist but she can't do much with a lumpy lip that has now stretch and gives someone a crook smile. Other beauty therapists have no issues in injecting any kind of proverbial in anyone's face, hips or ass.

For starters, 99% of this kind of procedures you can tell. But the worst is that after a while it alters your body and face in such a way that you can't do anything but increase the amount or have surgery. Lumpy lips that look like a baboons arse. Botox that has left them with droopy eyes. Waxy stretched skin from fillers, the list goes on. At 19, she'd be in dangerous waters especially if she goes the cheap route. Plastic surgery and procedures can never ever ever be cheap.
Make read the 'realself' website (dedicated to plastic surgery and the beauty industry) and make an informed decision.
When I was young, I always thought once I had money I'd do anything I liked. Now, I do have the money but wouldn't even dream it.
Decent diet, exercise, extremely good care of your skin is what she needs. Nothing else.

BathshebaDarkstone · 02/07/2016 06:32

YANBU. I hope my DDs never do anything so stupid.

annandale · 02/07/2016 06:37

I'd be distraught tbh. I am hoping against hope that those bloody earstretchers disappear before ds is older. I can't imagine being supportive of a daft decision like this, not to mention the waste of money at this age.

P1nkP0ppy · 02/07/2016 06:41

I'd be horrified and very dismayed that a young woman feels it's necessary at her age (or any age when it comes to that) to resort to synthetic beauty.
I do wonder just how they will look in 40 years time --hopefully not grotesque (à la Bride of Wildenstein)

MyCatWasRightAboutYou · 02/07/2016 06:58

Maybe a little. She is young, but at the same time she is a grown woman capable of making her own decisions. If it's making her happy, it's safe, and she's doing it for the right reasons (not to please a partner, for example) then I see no problems with it.

PlugUgly · 02/07/2016 07:11

Don't panic! They have come a long way since the Leslie Ash silicon type horrors!
Most last 6 months are veg based and reabsorb into the skin, BUT get her to go to someone with medical knowledge , a few dentist offer this as a sideline now, they also will numb the area which is a blessing!

Arsenicinthesugarbowl · 02/07/2016 07:15

YANBU but other than talking to her in a supportive way there's not much you can do. I feel for you OP.

teafortoads · 02/07/2016 07:39

This is the new 'Mum i'm getting a piercing/tattoo'!. I THINK you can have lip fillers removed and it might just be a one off, i'd just advise shopping around and going by results/quality rather than on price. If she is still a little undecided tell her to try Too Faced Lip Injection Extreme. The only lip plumper to give you mahoosive lips (Bloody expensive - and stocked hardly anywhere) but maybe worth a try?

annandale · 02/07/2016 07:57

I don't see why you should be supportive of something you don't support tbh. Had a friend 20years younger who said she wanted breast surgery. I wonder if the reaction of someone like me who considers it a fucking idiotic abnormal and pointless thing to do did act

annandale · 02/07/2016 07:58

Aagh. Did help change her mind.

MiniCooperLover · 02/07/2016 08:34

Show her a before and after photo of Leslie Ash !!!

ApocalypseSlough · 02/07/2016 08:53

I'd be upset because there are so many better things to spend her money on, because shed bought into the beauty myth, because it might go wrong.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 02/07/2016 08:56

She will tell you:
I'm a adult/it's my face,my choice/it's my money/ everyone has it done/ it's only just this I'm having done.

All true (well apart from the "everyones having it done " bit)

But it won't stop there, how many people have just one botox or just one filler , unless it's really painful or disaster results?

Buy her some Du Wop lip venom to try first?

I have really small thin lips , no amount of lining , clever colour or Soap& Glory Mother Pucker makes a whit of difference. Would I put collagen in my body? Nope.

pinkyredrose · 02/07/2016 10:46

It's not permanent though!

stopgap · 02/07/2016 11:45

I have fillers and Botox, but I'm 39. No-one can tell because a. I go to an amazing plastic surgeon and b. He is extremely conservative, and for instance won't inject Botox into the horizontal lines of the forehead, as you look too "done", and he also dabs the filler around, so only a fifth of a syringe goes into my top lip, as opposed to the customary half/full syringe.

But I don't think subtlety is the chief goal for teenagers and young women. It's an extreme look that they want, and it can look rather ridiculous.

mummymeister · 02/07/2016 11:58

why does she want it done OP? is it worth taking her to someone really good with makeup to see if she can get the look she wants without having this done?

I absolutely would not put this crap into my body, even if it was temporary as you don't really know what the long term effects are.

also my biggest objection is that no one stops at this. no one just has their lips done and nothing else. if the results go well then she will want other proceedures - it becomes like an addiction. the fun of planning it, sorting out your "look", the extra attention you get whilst recovering, the comments from friends.

this is all great if it goes well but it often doesn't. is she prepared to have numb lips?

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