Husband being a d*ck

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My husband has been off work for he past couple of days on annual
Leave and has been looking after our DS.

He picked me up from train station tonight and I thought he was a bit quiet but sometimes he can just be like that and I thought nothing more of it.

He went in for a shower (how he couldn't have done this when he's been off all day and up from 7am I'm not sure) and put my son's dinner in oven and took him out to play.

DH came out shower and got a bit stroppy that he'd left stuff out to defrost for DS - it was hidden behind a pile of washing up he'd done. I said "oh well you should
Have said you left it out, not the end of the world" cue some huffing and puffing.

THEN...he came out and told me that DS has eaten lots today and probably won't want a big dinner. I said "ok that's fine but just tell me that and I wouldn't have put a massive fish pie in the oven but again no big deal and he'll eat what he can" All hell breaks loose, he
Starts shouting at me that if it's a argument I want then I'll get one and I should have asked what he'd eaten. Proper shouting and bawling at me. I asked him to stop as it was upsetting and he just laughed and started on again.

Dinner is at the same time every night! He could have just said!

AIBU or is he?

*i put my son's dinner in oven

Well firstly if someone had come on here and asked why a SAHM couldn't have had a shower during the day......wooo boy!

He is a prick. Don't put up with it.

To be fair, he was looking after your DS all day, so imo it was up to you to ask if he'd prepared/planned dinner, before you put it in the oven.

He shouldn't be shouting at you though.

worra I do dinner every single night. Husband works away normally.

Yeah I have to say I generally ask how hungry the kids are before I think about dinner if I haven't been the one with them all day. No point putting on a big dinner if they'd been stuffing their faces all day.

I'd have just shouted it through the bathroom door tbh.

Him shouting at you is inexcusable. However, dp and I always ask each other what ds has eaten or if they've got anything out for tea.

That's not the point here.

Today, he was looking after DS all day - therefore only he knew how much DS had already eaten, and that he'd already put something out for dinner.

That's why (as you've been out all day) you should have asked, before putting a big fish pie in the oven.

He sounds a bit of a twat. Has he not done this before or very often so feels a bit of a martyr? Silly man.

It sounds like he had a bad day and is in a bad mood

I think the laughing is quite telling. That's not a lapse of temper that he regrets, he's deliberately doing something you find upsetting and finds it funny. Has he done this sort of thing before?

Breakdown in communication. Since you were the one initiating the cooking then you should have been the one to ask the question

It doesn't matter who did what for dinner or childcare. It does matter what a mountain he's made out of a molehill. Shouting about fish pie? For goodness sake, that is totally OTT and ridiculous.

Hang on, if dinner is at the same time every day, he would have known you would get on with sorting it while he was in the shower. Why didn't he tell you that he had something out defrosting ? Or why didnt he mention that ds had eaten a lot and would probably only need a snack? The laughing is very telling! I think he set you up to fail. Ie he knew he could criticise you if he didnt say anything.

I suspect there is more to this though...what is your relationship like in general?

I don't think the onus should be on the OP to ask for information that her husband clearly knows will affect her decision-making. He could have said something too - his accusation that you want an argument sounds a LOT like projection to me...

Sounds like he was after an argument imo