To want to emigrate without parents/in-laws...?

[geordiegeorgie]

My DH and I have been talking about emigrating for several years now, and Brexit is the final straw... We feel it is decision time. My concern is for my Mum. I don't think she would emigrate. So she would be left in UK with my brother and Stepfather. She is not even 60 yet and healthy, but I know a time will come when inevitably her health will deteriorate. Is it just selfish to want to emigrate? Has anyone managed this successfully?

FYI we are thinking of Canada or NZ...

Well can you just up and go? Do you meet the criteria.... And does your mother?

Canada's closer.

She's got another child here, plus a husband. And she's in her 50s, not even retirement age.

Not selfish at all.

Of course it's not selfish. You can't dictate your whole future (and your DHs),because of a lot of "what ifs" regarding someone who isn't even a pensioner yet. And as you said she has her husband and son.

But as already pointed out, do you meet the criteria to live in NZ / Canada?

Ask her what her thoughts are... but if you do emigrate you need to accept (especially with those distances) that visits maybe be few and far between and getting back in an emergency isn't the same as hopping in the car.

Its not selfish, but you need to consider the consequences...

Thanks all. Yes we meet the entry criteria.. my husband's work is quite restrictive but seems he could potentially be employed in either country. What if we tried it for a couple of years rather than proposing it as a lifetime thing...?

I'm 48 and Widowed.

My middle DDs, MIL is resident in Australia and they both have wanted qualifications and high savings, thanks to inheritance. They also have relatives in NZ.

In light of Brexit, I've said that she might as well, go and see how she likes it.

It will be wretched, not seeing her, but if it means a better future, for her and my GC, I'll manage.

I can't go, because I've got a health condition.

Just be aware you will be leaving any caring for elderly parents to your sibling....

Would you be OK with the fact that your parents might not wish to spend all future holiday resources on visiting you, or that they do it but end up resenting you?

I have zero experience of having family abroad, but from reading AIBU it seems a common problem that both sides become severely restricted in their holiday destinations (due to expectations from family) for ever more.

We are both 50 and our only DD is considering going to teach in NZ, we've told her to go with our blessing, if that's what she decides.