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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is this a stupid reaction?

13 replies

Mapless · 20/06/2016 07:10

My only sibling got married - big wedding, lots of bridesmaids and ushers etc. Photographer took lots of photos for a long time. There was one photo taken of all the guests and that's the only one I was invited to be in.

I just feel that in the future, all these friends may not still be around. He might look back at those photos - it'll be a shame that I wasn't included. (Neither was my husband or 2 children, one of whom was a flower girl). Our dad died many years ago so it was just us and mum for a while. (Mum was included).

FWIW my wedding photos were mainly of immediate family including siblings and partners.

OP posts:

DeathStare · 20/06/2016 07:13

Different people do things differently.

If you wanted a photo of your family with the happy couple did you make sure someone took one for you?

PPie10 · 20/06/2016 07:23

Well why didn't you make sure one was taken?

TheNaze73 · 20/06/2016 08:38

YABU. It was there wedding

Batteriesallgone · 20/06/2016 08:41

You sure it wasn't the photographers cock up? Did you check at the time? YABU to expect the B&G to be keeping track of all the pics its overwhelming on your wedding day how many are taken, so hard to keep track.

branofthemist · 20/06/2016 08:44

The photographer usually asks for a list of shots that the bride and groom want.

Maybe they didn't want individual family photos. At the end of the day they are paying and it's up to them.

Dbro had a whole family photo at his wedding with a his wife's family, but not ours. But her mum wanted, and paid for, a whole family photo. That's up to them.

If you want everyone together why not organise a party and get everyone together and take some photos

CantChoose · 20/06/2016 08:47

Sadly I didn't get a nice photo of me with my mum at my wedding. Was a complete oversight on all our parts... May not have been deliberate...

meowli · 20/06/2016 10:07

I would have thought it unusual at a wedding with a professional photographer, for there not to be photographs of bride and groom with immediate family from both sides. Fwiw, at our wedding, the photographer took all the 'standard' shots unprompted, calling out for who she wanted for each shot - various combinations of relatives and bridesmaid/pageboy etc., then entire family both sides, group shot of friends, all the guests, then asked us if there were any more we'd like.

I do sympathise, op. It would have been nice to have an official photograph with your family and b&g in, apart from the group shot. Try not to feel hurt by it, I'm sure it wasn't personal, just an oversight. If it was a big wedding, I don't suppose an extra photo would have broken the bank! Could you pay for a studio photographer to take a nice portrait of you, dh, dm, b&g, and your dc, with dd in her flower girl outfit? I'm sure b&g would understand, if you explain that you'd love to have this extra group photo.

MargaretCavendish · 20/06/2016 10:13

I don't think it's a 'stupid' reaction, but it's also not much use now the wedding is over! I think you should do your best to give it zero further thought.

Batteriesallgone · 20/06/2016 10:35

Our photographer requested a list of the photos we want, plus also Responsible Guest who knew who everyone was to have a copy and check it off too to ensure no oversights. There was never any suggestion of charging more for specific shots and I'm that professionals do that.

BeYourselfUnlessUCanBeAUnicorn · 20/06/2016 11:22

YANBU. I don't actually speak to any of the friends in had at my wedding, including the 2 that were bridesmaids. I'm glad I don't have loads of photos of them and not of family. I would have though family would have been more of a priority.

I was quite annoyed off that MIL organised a photo with DH and all the ILs and I wasn't included, ILs were included in all my family photos and DH was in them too, given he was the groom. She didn't even buy a copy of the photo so not sure what the point was.

Pinkheart5915 · 20/06/2016 11:32

Yabu it was there wedding. People really can do nothing right at there own wedding these days somebody always picks on something.

I'd give it no further thought

Original poster

Mapless · 21/06/2016 00:25

Thanks everyone. I thought professional photographers did all the standard shots, 'creative ones' and those specifically asked for. We were given an Internet code to purchase what we wanted....lots of photos of their friends that mum and I didn't know. Shame. But as you say not one of life's major issues. Good to know some people understand . It's not something as I would ever mention as I lime to keep the peace. Weddings seem emotional enough without family butting in.

Anyway - thanks for responding x.

OP posts:

SparklesandBangs · 21/06/2016 08:04

Not a stupid reaction at all, as the only close family I can understand why you would think there would be at least one professional shot with you and your mum only in.

If I look back at my DB and DBILs wedding where my DD were flower girls/bridesmaids at both. At one they were fully involved as were my DH and I, catered for and treated like princesses for the day by the bride & groom and in many pictures. It was a true loving family wedding.

In the other they were part of a huge bridal party and only there because of who they were not because they were wanted IYSWIM they were older and would have preferred not to have been part of the circus it became and in hindsight we should have said no. We may have been in some group shots but they were so many and it was so staged managed it would be hard not to! They pictures that we have from this wedding we took ourselves and don.t have the B&G in.

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