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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why people start rumours?

15 replies

honeybuffe · 10/06/2016 12:31

I heard a rumour about myself and our family, nothing serious in itself, we were asked were we moving. Neighbour had heard it from her SIL who heard it from her neighbour, who has a ds in same class as one of mine. The problem I have with it is, not only are we not moving but I have 2 ds, one of which is seeing a counsellor for anxiety and if he heard this it would really upset him. I know the obvious things such as reassure him we're not etc , the problem with that is as a natural worrier and over thinker that quite often isn't enough. My real question is who the hell bothers or has the time to start rumours anyway, I don't get it.

OP posts:

TheNewSchmoo · 10/06/2016 12:32

I've often thought this. Someone somewhere has chosen at some point to just totally make something up. Why? Ridiculous

Pinkheart5915 · 10/06/2016 12:33

I think they have sad lives and it brightens there day. IMO people are far too Interested in other people's lives, should concentrate on there own.

Original poster

honeybuffe · 10/06/2016 12:35

That's the bit I don't get. If you wanted to know something about me, why not ask? If for some reason you wake up in the morning wondering I wonder is honeybuffe moving? (For whatever reason that happened!) why not ask? Why state it as fact??

OP posts:

KayTee87 · 10/06/2016 13:15

I think it's probably just a genuine mix up, would be a strange rumour to make up.

PolaroidsFromTheBeyond · 10/06/2016 13:23

I don't think a lot of them start intentionally. It's more people repeat and exaggerate things I think. Or a genuine misunderstanding in your case? Seems a very odd thing to just make up! I would assume someone has just got the wrong end of the stick.

acasualobserver · 10/06/2016 13:48

who has a ds in same class as one of mine

Well, there you go. Kids getting the wrong end of the stick.

branofthemist · 10/06/2016 13:51

I agree with op that they don't usually start with a lie. Though some do.

Someone hears something, gets the wrong end of the stick or thinks it's about one person when it's about another. Then add their own bits in, which in their head makes sense. They Then tell someone, who adds their own bits and/or misunderstands and it goes from there.

Original poster

honeybuffe · 10/06/2016 14:12

I actually agree that it is most likely a mix up. What I don't get is telling someone else about it instead of either asking the person or just saying nothing. I think in this instance like I said it's a nothing kind of rumour, but it's the idea of just saying or repeating stuff that you don't know to be true I don't get, I mean that in a general way not just when it concerns me.

OP posts:

PolaroidsFromTheBeyond · 10/06/2016 14:20

it's the idea of just saying or repeating stuff that you don't know to be true.

But people do this all the time! You're being a bit ridiculous. It's human nature to be interested in what other people are doing and it's rarely done in a malicious or nasty way. Do you really double check everything you hear? I met a friend for lunch yesterday and she told me a mutual friend has got a new job. Very pleased for her as she's been unhappy in her currant position for some time. I mentioned it to my mum when I spoke to her last night as she knows her too. Are you really suggesting I should have independently verified this little piece of good news before I told my mum?

Original poster

honeybuffe · 10/06/2016 14:56

I guess that yes you are right in that i probably don't verify everything and I suppose in the case of good news am much less likely.

I think to be fair maybe my AIBU looks to stem just from this instance I heard about myself but I did mean it in a general sense. It probably irked more due to the fact that I had recently been noticing negative gossip and theories about neighbours and locals etc that people were repeating without any proof of truth. In relation to that kind of thing and not in a sense of relaying positive news (from a reliable source) I don't get why people do it.

OP posts:

Sighing · 10/06/2016 15:02

That probably a mix up. I lived next to someone who's children were taken into care 5 months before i moved away (but not far). The stuff I hear about my family is pretty shit. Completely fabrication, but mainly i can imagine bored nosey sods were speculating

Leviticus · 10/06/2016 16:10

I really can't see why you're irked. It's a non-scandalous rumour most likely originating from the classroom. It's not the sort of thing that damages reputations or friendships.

EveryoneElsie · 10/06/2016 16:21

Its not something I understand, and I dont pass stuff on either.

Original poster

honeybuffe · 10/06/2016 17:15

I'm not irked about that particular instance in isolation. It's more to do with the fact that as I said all the "facts" I've been told recently are negative and in some instances completely false. As I said what was said about me is in reality not in anyway a big deal, admittedly as I said I thought it odd not to ask me if it was true. It's just I don't know why people pass or start negative information about people. I have heard people pass on so called information that would seriously damage a persons reputation. That's what I genuinely don't get.

OP posts:

wonkylegs · 10/06/2016 17:21

Our village is a hotbed of rumours that I cannot believe people think are real, most of them aren't about individual people though, the latest one is a truly ridiculous conspiracy theory about a development. We were only saying the other day we wondered how ridiculous a rumour you could start before someone would question it

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