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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that it's too early?

25 replies

FuckAbout · 26/05/2016 21:16

Every. Single. Morning. My next door neighbour lets her 3 year old play in the garden with their yappy dog. Anywhere from 6.30am onwards it starts. Shouting, crying, squealing, yapping, the mother shouting at both the child and the dog... every single day. It pisses me off to high heaven. Even more so that it wakes my DS up also and his bedroom is at the front of the house!!

AIBU to think that 6.30am is way too early to consider letting children play outside?!

OP posts:
H0LDTHED00R · 26/05/2016 21:18

YANBU

ILoveAGoodBrusselSprout · 26/05/2016 21:18

YANBU

MillionToOneChances · 26/05/2016 21:23

YADNBU

newmumwithquestions · 26/05/2016 21:24

YADDDNBU

MrsExpo · 26/05/2016 21:25

YANBU .... But have you been round and asked her to stop?

beenaroundawhile · 26/05/2016 21:29

YANBU. That's what CBeebies is for.

Poor her though... It must be painful of they're all up so early she has to send the kid out by 6.30am. I would suggest a big dose of sensitivity / sympathy when you talk to her.

Mooingcow · 26/05/2016 21:32

How do you react?

Missiles from your bedroom?

Power hose?

Verbal abuse?

How has the family reacted?

I'd pop round or stuck a note through the door politely outlining the extent of their antisocial behaviour. I'd also hint that they were posting off a lot of other neighbours who probably wouldn't be so polite.

Mooingcow · 26/05/2016 21:32

Pissing not posting...

FranHastings · 26/05/2016 21:36

YADDDNBU. My neighbour sends her kids out from 8am at the weekends. I think that's too early. Plus they detest each other, so all you can hear is shrieking and screaming.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 26/05/2016 21:49

Oh god talk to her in person don't post a note. Notes, like words on a screen, can so easily come across wrong and put people's backs up before you've even started (assuming that isn't what you want to do).

Talk to her face to face - mention that is waking your son (go for the fellow feeling on the small child front, assuming your son isn't 15.. or 38?) Work on the assumption she hasn't realised she is disturbing you and will be friendly and willing to be a good neighbour and you are more likely to get a good result.

Original poster
FuckAbout · 26/05/2016 21:50

Unfortunately, the neighbour is quite unapproachable and I have never engaged in conversation with her in the 2 years we've lived next door to one another. I tried nearly a year ago but just received a blank look back, and once had to knock on her door regarding a mix up with the waste bins and she completely ignored me/the door.

Maybe I'm a terrible neighbour myself? LOL

OP posts:
RainbowsAndUnicorns5 · 26/05/2016 21:50

Oh gawd sorry, my kids go out early to play Blush

ohtheholidays · 26/05/2016 21:55

YANBU,after 9 am fine and I say that as a mother of 5DC and 2 of our DC are autistic.

Report it to your local council if speaking to the parent hasn't helped.

ghostspirit · 26/05/2016 22:00

could is come under anti social behaviour or simlar? maybe you could complain but tell them you want it to be confidential. noise carrys so it could be anyone that reported it

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 26/05/2016 22:02

One reason I love living in Germany is that there official, widely publicised laws about everything, including when children can play out noisily :o

Not sure what you can do except have a moan on here if you live in a place where people don't speak to their neighbours... maybe you should all sit in your front gardens more and get to know one another (sorry, reference to a thread from last week) :o

6:30 is early though - is the yappy dog yappy all day?

Original poster
FuckAbout · 26/05/2016 22:09

Myself and the other neighbours on the road all get on brilliantly. It's not just me who has been given the cold shoulder though, another neighbour has approached her before now and apparently, she barely got anything back from her and that was that. Nothing since!

Another neighbour on the road knows her personally and has said that she is a nice girl, doesn't suffer with any social anxiety etc to explain the lack of neighbourlyness (is that even a word?!) so I'm not sure what it could be.

The dog is yappy whenever outside, I have never heard it through the walls thankfully.

OP posts:
Original poster
FuckAbout · 26/05/2016 22:13

Out of interest, what would you class as a reasonable time to let the DC outside to play?

OP posts:
blackbirdmilkshake · 26/05/2016 22:14

yanbu. 7 (while still being shit) is more reasonable

notjusttheirmum · 26/05/2016 22:22

I was always taught not to play out until 9am, not to knock for or ring anyone until after 10am
I do let my dc's in the garden on nice mornings at 8am, using indoor voices only, if we are ready in time which rarely happens but we are surrounded by other school kids so all up anyway
Can you speak to neighbour? Write a polite letter? If all else fails I would ring your local council as it is a nuisance

Standingonmytippytoes · 26/05/2016 22:35

I was going to ask if you were my neighbour because ds insisted on being in the garden at 6.30 this morning to play with the yappy dog, but then you said it was everyday so I knew it wasn't me.

I felt terrible but there wasn't much I could do without a full blown meltdown. Perhaps you'll have to leave her an anonymous note. in the dead of night

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 26/05/2016 22:38

The sign in our village playground states that children are free to use the space and equipment between 7am and 12 noon, and 2pm and 8pm, on any day :o

So I'm OK with that - and our house is the closest to the playground.

However school buses pick up from 6:40am on a school day in our village, so there is plenty of noise of kids calling to each other as they walk to the bus from before 6:30am - I guess German society is geared earlier generally... at weekends I wouldn't kick the kids out before 9am, but on a week day I used to send DS1 to run laps of the playground at 7am when he was younger and Kindergarten asked me to get him to run some energy off before coming in if possible :o :o

Kids ring our door bell from about 9am at weekends - that's OK I think. Its too late I don't like so much (after 7pm), or when they stand on the doorstep calling in asking when we will finish eating dinner... :o

Can you use your contact on the next street as a go between to talk to her - or better still to properly introduce the two of you over a cup of tea/ coffee Fuckabout? She sounds very odd if you, as a community, do tend to talk to your neighbours and her friend says she doesn't have any social anxiety etc.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 26/05/2016 22:41

I don't think there is anything wrong with kids "being" outside very early, if they are not making more noise than a normal speaking voice - there is something magical about the world very early in the morning sometimes, especially if it rained in the night and is now dry... but playing out loudly, complete with shouting and yapping dogs, is not really on at 6:30am

Flumpnugget · 26/05/2016 22:45

Jees, is be livid, but then rather worried (due to her anti-social nature) that she'd do it even earlier & louder if I said anything Confused

My 3 aren't allowed in the garden before 9am or 10am on a Sunday. First thing in the morning is for coming around, breakfast and some quiet activities....they're all in by 8.30/9 at the latest on the longest summer days.

Perhaps directly contacting the council would be the wisest move, to report the issue.

Original poster
FuckAbout · 26/05/2016 22:54

Not going to lie, I'm furious when I get woken up! But I understand that it isn't the little boys fault. After a few deep sighs and "why me!?"'s into my pillow, I'm up and downstairs either prepping breakfast for my DS who's been woken also, or quickly shutting any windows open to try and block out the sound so it doesn't wake DS up!

I'd feel wrong reporting her without knowing any background story first. They both - the mother and child - have unusual timings anyway. Her DC is still awake now, I can hear him running around (semi detatched). I wouldn't want to make any bad situation worse by having a noise complaint drop on her doormat.

But on the otherhand, I feel as though my family shouldn't have to suffer at the same time.

OP posts:
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