Are christenings always this extravagant?

[Princessofshoreditch]

Met my friend today. She is currently organising her DD's christening, her first baby who will be about 5 months old on the day. I can't believe the extravagance! She's having standard Sunday service then an afternoon tea at the vet grand country house she got married in for about 50 people (they have large families to be fair). She is also having a professional photographer because she doesn't want to rely on other people to take them. I am also planning my DS christening which will be a small affair with a party at our house afterwards! Now worried this will be a bit crap! Are christenings huge affairs now or is my friend insane?!

*very not vet

Neither of you are being unreasonable. If she can afford it and chooses to be as extravagant as she wants its up to her. The same with weddings, posh or not it's still a wedding. Don't compare yourself to her.

^^What PPie said.

But a photographer?!

Yes and so what?

I had three quite fancy christening parties. Private hire rooms/lunch/afternoon tea etc. I do love a party though! Been to loads in houses though, with cake and tea. Each to their own!

I've been to loads of Christenings with a photographer, and quite a few in Wedding venues too.

Neither of you are being unreasonable. Sil wanted a gran affair but she couldn't afford it. It would have been where their wedding was. With more guests. When dbro costed it up it was going to be in excess of 3k and they just didn't have it.

So they had a smaller do and invited less people.

Personally I think it's up to you. If she wants a photographer, that's her business.

I had 8 people and sandwiches at my mums after dds. That was it. But I can't get upset about people wanting a big do.

My dm is a vicar, she's previously been quite shocked by the amount people spend to do christening parties.

I'm 14 weeks pregnant, we told her on Sunday, she's now debating when to do a booze run to the south of France for naice wine and champagne for the christening party.

Sometimes a traditional Sunday lunch at these places isn't that expensive at all. It might not be as pricey as you think.

Photographer ? Well hmmm that seems a bit ott for my liking

I wish I'd had a photographer at my children's christening. Asked my mum to take photos and she forgot! No one else did either so no reminders of the day

I knew someone that got christened the same time as her DC

she wore a tiara and a fur bolero.

Thanks everyone

I don't think an afternoon tea at a hotel is that outrageous? I rarely hear of a professional photographer at christenings but I don't think it's the worst idea if you can afford it. I didn't have one at ds's, it didn't occur to me, but on the other hand we don't have any decent pics of him in his christening gown. Which is a shame as he looked beautiful!

I guess, to me anyway, it takes all the special meaning away if it is extravagant

I'd quite fancy a photographer for my kids christenings if I could do it again. I've very few photos of dd1s, a few more of dd2s and more of dd3 but I had more kids to take photos of.

Different strokes - I know lots of people that have big christenings (big families and lots of friends) and God knows its so much easier to not have it in your own house. I'm midway through a run of First Communion parties at the minute - that's some fun

Does God feature anywhere in these Christenings. Or is it all just another opportunity to show off and get presents?

Neither of you are being unreasonable in having the christenings that you want. I think you are being a bit unreasonable suggesting that her DD's christening won't have special meaning because it is more extravagant.

I think both types of christening are lovely. If they have a large family then a hotel may make a lot of sense. I also think a photographer is ok especially if the relatives don't get together very often.

I guess it also depends on how rich they are. If they can easily afford it then it's not extravagant IYSWIM

You shouldn't worry that your DDs christening will be 'crap' . I'm sure it will be just as lovely.

Meh, catered parties with photographers are out of our price range so it's hard for me to care give an opinion. Our wedding was registry office then pub meal for 12 and we're agnostic so wont be arranging any christenings. If other people want to arrange a colour coordinated sit down meal for 100 people with band/dj/ magician then let them have at it, I say. Whether they're celebrating a wedding, a christening, a birthday or just throwing a party on some random day just for the sheer heck of it.

Is the problem here that your friend and you are both throwing christening aftetparties close together? If so I don't think people will judge or compare (or contrast). If people do then fuck them. They're not nice people if they're looking down on someone for not thrbowing a fancier party. (It also would be rather unChristian of them)

Wow, you are a grand lot. I have never been to an extravagant christening. They have always been during the church service and then back to the house for a few sandwiches. It simply would never have occurred to me to go to a fancy venue or to have a professional photographer.

God will feature fairly heavily in our proposed baptism SoThat it will also just feature a lot of champagne

We had lunch in a small but nice cafe after DD christening. Mainly because the Church was about an hour from home and there were people coming from different places. Whatever you want to do will be lovely. Each to their own. Just relax and enjoy the service and the time with family and friends

it takes all the special meaning away if it is extravagant - the trappings have nothing to do with the meaning of the ceremony. Your friend's ceremony may be just as meaningful as yours.