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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU 5mo and sleep, NOT the usual sleep question

22 replies

steviewonderful · 12/05/2016 23:41

it's a fairly usual problem I think but the consequences are not, i'm single and trying to work out how to cover the mortgage and keep the house and do the right think for my daughter, so I NEED her to stay asleep at night so I can get this stuff sorted, repair the house, and make the sodding bottles that I should never have had to make cos I really wanted to exclusively breastfeed! We moved house not long ago so there's all that to sort too.
First 5 months she slept great, slept through from about 6wks.
Past few weeks she goes to bed at her usual, sensible time, then wakes for food about 2-3 times until the early hours of the morning, generally breast which takes ages.
I NEED to get on with stuff, I NEED uninterrupted time to get on with stuff, been working so hard with breast pumping etc and physical illnesses linked to having a baby, I NEED her to be in our bedroom so I can do noisy things like washing up
One theory is that she's hungry but I have been having mixed results with weaning.....
Any advice anyone? Fed up of struggling

OP posts:

LuckySantangelo1 · 12/05/2016 23:43

Mine didn't sleep through until 7 months. But what did help was giving a bottle of formula before bed instead of bf. I still bf during the day but he has formula every night.

Original poster

steviewonderful · 12/05/2016 23:53

she gets formula here and there when she won't wait for a let down or i'm sore from her poor latch. She often has it before bed so I don't think that's the key but thanks anyway

OP posts:

babyiwantabump · 12/05/2016 23:56

some babies just don't sleep - no matter how you feed them or how much . Have you looked at wonder weeks? Could she be having a developmental leap causing the waking?

Original poster

steviewonderful · 12/05/2016 23:59

thanks baby, it's not wonderweeks as she's being doing it week in week out for at least 3 wks xxxx

OP posts:

cookiefiend · 13/05/2016 00:13

Not sure if it helps, but my five and a half month old seems to have moved from two feeds a night to three or four in the last few weeks (I think- I don't really keep track as I am half asleep, but definetly waking me up more recently). So it is probably just a little phase- perhaps a growth spurt.

With my last child I agd supply issues too and I just a wanted to say well done for keeping going as it is such hard work. I finally managed to ebf DD1 when she was something like five and a half months after all te hard work expressing etc so you may still be able to dump the bottles. Feeding at night is rough, but crucial for supply so hopefully it will reduce the need for bottles. I am sorry you are struggling and hope it improves soon.

Original poster

steviewonderful · 13/05/2016 01:30

thanks cookie, that's alovely msg and i'll bear all tht in mind x
she is t

OP posts:

wannabehippyandcrazycatlover · 13/05/2016 06:21

There is apparently a sleep regression at 4/5 months which basically is a change in the architecture of their sleep- they go from baby to adult sleep pattern. I'm in it as we speak and I'm like a zombie.

No advice other than 'it will pass' but have some and ....I need a strong coffee.

splendide · 13/05/2016 06:43

Mine was on about 3 feeds a night till 8 months ish then didn't sleep through really till about 14 months although we had patches of better and worse sleep.

I'm sorry but you can't make a small baby sleep all night (I know some do it on their own). I know how hard it is I was hallucinating at one point when he was tiny I was so sleep deprived. This honestly isn't meant to be "oh suck it up" I'm just being realistic.

For your sanity you need to reframe the question to how can you cope and maximise the sleep you are getting. That's what someone (it was a poster called Fatedestiny) said to me and it was the best advice I got.

So for me that was getting DH to deal with wakings till midnight (after about 8 months we did this I think) and I went to bed at 7.30. I also used to sleep on a mattress on DS' bedroom floor with him next to me if he woke after about 4.

Good luck and I hope you get some sleep soon.

icklekid · 13/05/2016 06:47

I know it's so hard to cope with the sleep deprivation. Have you tried cosleeping and feeding lying down so if baby does wake to feed you just roll over and go back to sleep after? I know it's not for everyone but generally does help you get more sleep

Ohb0llocks · 13/05/2016 06:50

Have you tried dream feeding?

waterrat · 13/05/2016 06:54

There is a common sleep regression at this age. Both mine did exactly what yours is doing. My theory is that they are growing but of course weaning takes a while to kick in. Both my kids settled snd started sleeping well.again at about 8 to 10 months.

I know how unbelievably hard it is when they start waking again but try to see it from a longer perspective. Your baby will be sleeping better in a few months and for now the best thing you can do is go to bed early.

It's shit and I hugely sympathise but there is no.magic trick to make babies this age sleep.

If you are desperate you could sleep train which personally I have no problem with but I think 5 months is a little young. At 7 months once he was eating solids I did let my son cry while I sat and patted him and it massively improved his waking.

Oysterbabe · 13/05/2016 06:56

Some good advice here but just to add that early weaning is not the answer. Most foods have less calories than milk, it doesn't really reduce the amount they need at first.

Mistigri · 13/05/2016 07:13

Sleep regression at this age is quite common and I don't think it's usually to do with hunger. My DS was never great at sleeping but it went rapidly downhill between 5 and 8/9 months, at which point he was waking every 45 minutes all through the night. I was working f/t and became very ill with sleep deprivation; the only solution in his case was sleep training.

I think you need to look at this more holistically though. You have a 5mo, you're alone, you're obviously trying very hard to provide for and do your best for your DD. It's tough and you need to be kind to yourself. Something needs to give. Are you still pumping? Because while breast is best, the advantages are rather smaller at 5mo than at 5 weeks, and for the sake of your own health and sanity it may be that you need to be pragmatic about this. Is there anyone you can talk things through with in RL?

LaurieMarlow · 13/05/2016 07:26

Sounds v familiar. I had a great sleeper for the first 5 months. Then 5-9 were horrendous with multiple wake ups and v hard to settle.

Probably not hunger, more likely caused by the transition to more 'adult' sleep.

You could try some gentle sleep training techniques.

TiredOfSleep · 13/05/2016 07:40

There's a sleep regression at 4 months, so they disturb much more easily. Does she self settle or do you feed her to sleep?

britnay · 13/05/2016 07:43

Mine is almost 15 months and wakes every 2 hours in the night and is up from 5am. His older brother was sleeping through 6pm-6am by this age.

waterrat · 13/05/2016 08:53

Have to say I'm v pro bf but I wouldn't bother pumping by 5 months I'd just mix feed boob and formula to make life easier

waterrat · 13/05/2016 08:56

Have to say that I would not be bothering pumping by 5 months ..especially if baby gets a bit of bf anyway

Original poster

steviewonderful · 13/05/2016 22:12

I feed her to sleep
I had to give up pumping cos of other health issues at about 4.5 months
lots of helpful and supportive posts, thanks so much mumsnet! xxxxxx
i'm still managing to make progress, I just struggle with the whole thing as i'm a productive person, used to getting things done!
I'm just going to keep on keeping on and put one foot in front of the other :-)
sorry to hear about those of you who are having worse sleep problems xxx

OP posts:

Coconut0il · 13/05/2016 23:17

I totally understand where you're coming from stevie. I need at least 30 mins a day to myself, to wash my hair or put clothes away or anything that doesn't involve DS2 being attached to me. I'm lucky that I'm able to get that because of DP.
I like to be on top of things and organised but please don't put too much pressure on yourself. It's sometimes impossible to get anything apart from the basics done with a baby but honestly it does get easier. I know it's always said but they really do grow so quickly. DS1 is 12 now and before DS2 was born I had so much time to myself it was a little sad. When he was little I tried to do everything and looking back I didn't need too. DS2 is 8 months and as long as I get a bit of a break I'm much more relaxed about everything else.
My advice for the sleeping is do whatever works. I feed DS2 to sleep and he is still waking at least once a night, weaning hasn't really changed this. He'll do it when he's ready.

Original poster

steviewonderful · 14/05/2016 23:21

yep I dreamfeed :-)
coconutoil,thanks for your kind words xxx

OP posts:

MrsMook · 15/05/2016 00:04

DS1 hit this phase at this age too. I ended up giving some formula as I was shattered and we were moving house. With hindsight I ended up giving him eczema, and he decided 3 days into the new house that he absolutely had to begin weaning which REALLY got the new found milk allergy going...

This time shall pass...

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