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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

online flirting with young man

29 replies

tevion · 10/05/2016 18:17

My friend is in her forties and frequently visits chat sites.
She has struck up a liason with a guy who claims to be 19.
They are doing a lot of flirting and it gets very rude at times I don't blame the lad but I think she is acting stupid for her age he is not from the uk aibu

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 10/05/2016 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFuckersBitingMe · 10/05/2016 18:18

I don't understand the question. She's an adult, he's an adult. What filthy nothings they type to one another are nobody's business but their own.

Original poster
tevion · 10/05/2016 18:20

Do you think she should grow up she says he excites her

OP posts:
Original poster
tevion · 10/05/2016 18:22

but with a 19 year old she is degrading herself

OP posts:
Stratter5 · 10/05/2016 18:24

Why is it anything to do with you?

Pinkheart5915 · 10/05/2016 18:24

They are both adults, can do what they want.
If it excites her and makes her feel good why not? I bet he gets something out of it too Wink

Original poster
tevion · 10/05/2016 18:24

she has a 16year old son would she like it if an older woman was saying rude stuff to him. 19year olds can be immature.

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 10/05/2016 18:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheFuckersBitingMe · 10/05/2016 18:25

Degrading herself how?

Personally I'm not a fan of telling others to grow up. I laughed when a kid farted loudly at school today so am probably unreliable with this sort of thing.

Original poster
tevion · 10/05/2016 18:27

because she talks about him constantly to me stratter and I am repulsed the things they are saying to each other.

OP posts:
Original poster
tevion · 10/05/2016 18:28

she claims it flatters her that he wants to flirt with her despite her age.

OP posts:
Pinkheart5915 · 10/05/2016 18:29

Maybe you are repulsed by what they say, but that's YOUR view.

I've had some very raunchy messages exchanges with my DH over the years, it's just a bit of fun.

MiddleClassProblem · 10/05/2016 18:29

Good for her, getting her perks. He's probably not 19 but if he is who cares?

Pinkheart5915 · 10/05/2016 18:30

Her being flattered by his attention is fine IMO

MiddleClassProblem · 10/05/2016 18:30

If you don't want to hear it, just say you don't like talking about things of that nature, it makes you uncomfortable. Look, handling it like a grown up, eh?

Original poster
tevion · 10/05/2016 18:31

I worry in case she gets into trouble what if he is really under 16

OP posts:
EatShitDerek · 10/05/2016 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
tevion · 10/05/2016 18:33

she calls him her sweet heart and he flatters her by saying he likes the older woman.
She has a partner for gods sake.

OP posts:
Original poster
tevion · 10/05/2016 18:34

because online you don't know if people are who they say they are I am concerned for her

OP posts:
January87 · 10/05/2016 18:35

How is she degrading herself? My only concern would be this guy is looking for money or a visa as you say he's not from the UK.

Pinkheart5915 · 10/05/2016 18:36

Some men do like older women, that does not mean his under 16.
Yes people aren't always who they say they are online but they have not met and most people claim they are younger than they are not older

scrabbletile · 10/05/2016 18:36

Maybe a warning for her about some of the scams out there - as it is overseas it could easily turn into "I need money for....." or "I will visit you if you send money...."

MiddleClassProblem · 10/05/2016 18:36

If he's under 16 the conversation would show that he mislead her and she thought he was of age. Also they are not meeting

BeverlyGoldberg · 10/05/2016 19:22

I think she runs the risk of being made to look a bit silly but consenting adults can chat all they want.

Cabrinha · 10/05/2016 19:26

Tell her you don't want to hear the details.

FWIW despite the fact they are both adults, I think that 40s/19 is pretty grim.

Also I'll do my first ever "if the genders were reversed" comment: I think if it were a man in his 40s and a 19 year old girl, more people would also think it was grim.

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