Still really nervous!!! HELP

[Mummytobe300916]

Im a very anxious 1st time mum to be. After having an early mc 2 years ago and struggled to get pregnant i am completly petrified something is going to go wrong. I am now almost 19 weeks along and have ny 20 week scan on tuesday (10th). I am a very anxious person to begin with. But everything i do im scared. Bending over makes me panic, waking up in my tummy makes me think baby will now be squashed. Please help me calm down. Im making myself ill

I was the same, had a mmc last year and became pregnant straight after. This was after approx 4 years of secondary infertility so my head was a mess. I was incredibly anxious but after the 20 week scan I began to calm down more.

In all honestly I did remain anxious throughout the pregnancy but after 20 weeks I felt more in control of it. I still couldn't entirely accept I was going to have a healthy baby right up to the minute she was born. But I did and she is now 7weeks old and snuffly sleeping at the end of my bed.

During the early stages of my pg I was seeing a counsellor to deal with the grief of the miscarriage. She said that I should allow myself to accept my anxiety, kind of give myself permission to admit I was scared about losing this baby. This did help me because it enabled me to recognise I was scared and anxious and to say to myself that it was ok to be. I also didn't plan anything ahead and didn't announce the pg to many people before my 20 week scan. Again this let me feel more in control.

Good luck with your scan and I hope it gives you the reassurance it gave me and some respite from the anxiety.

I don't think you sound anxious after a miscarriage you sound totally understandably anxious. Who wouldn't be.

You are 20 weeks so half way through, bloody great.

Anxiety goes hand in hand with parenthood so don't feel you are the only one feeling this way you arnt.

Keep posting and sharing and you will find lots of support here op.

I was the same with dd's pregnancy. I'd lost 3 before her. Not unusual after a loss/difficulty conceiving but that doesn't mean you should try to cope alone either. Talk to your midwife, Dr even the miscarriage association. They were a godsend for me. Good luck and good health

Can you afford an independent midwife? They're probably in the region of 2.5k these days and worth every penny. I was anxious about the birth and became earth mummy with Imw help. It's normal you feel anxious after a mc and difficulties conceiving. You need some help to relax and nurture the baby inside you. What do you fancy doing? Getting a massage, going for a walk in nature, listening to relaxing music, getting some counselling. I would go onto YouTube and search for "grounding". You will find some meditative stuff on there to help you pull your thoughts together, relax and become more inside yourself and reduce the pattern of overthinking. Try hypnotic CDs/downloads designed to reduce anxiety and bring inner peace.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/pregnancy/2572444-Staying-posifrickentive-Thread-8-for-ladies-after-mc?msgid=60837948#60837948

You might find this thread helpful. Everyone there knows exactly what your going through and I found it amazingly helpful when pregnant with now almost 9 week old ds.

I slept on my stomach until I was woken up by a small person in my tummy literally thumping me telling me he was getting squashed! So don't worry, baby will let you know when they are squished!