Pre-teens and "shopping" parties.

[MattDillonsPants]

So DD is 11 and this is the second time she's been invited to a "shopping party" by one of her mates turning 12.

I feel a bit about it. They're usually sleepovers too...so it's a lot of effort in one way, having your home invaded by 5 or 6 girls for 24 hours.

But I have to pay! I need to give DD cash...AND a gift for the child!

AIBU to think they're a cop out?

I think it's a bollocks idea for a party.

Consumerism as fun...starting early.

Derek they take them into the shopping centre....then leave them...and then collect them to take them home to eat!

Sounds like a trip to town to me rather than a party but YAB( a bit) U- she's 11 and it's going to cost you money for her to go on trips to town for next 7 years at least. If you can't afford it does she not get pocket money/save bday and Xmas money? A small gift doesn't seem unreasonable on top if there's an actual party/sleepover afterwards.

It depends how it's done. My DD has been on two of these and in both cases she was not expected to bring her own cash - the girls were allowed to pick something (from Claire's or similar) to the tune of £x and that was instead of plastic party bag tat. Both times she came home with something that was nice and useful, and the girls had a lot of fun comparison shopping and doing savvy budgeting. They learned a lot.

Then they had a meal in town (KFC or similar) and in one instance went to the cinema as well. They really enjoyed it.

Pointy yes, I've taken DD to similar too...but the point is this, lately it seems to be the done thing for invitations to specify "bring money"

Which is nothing like what you describe.

Pals meet up and go to town is now called a party😕 what a cop out and cheeky to say bring money

My daughter has been to these.

I think sleepover + shopping + food in town + given £10 to buy themselves something nice in lieu of a party bag is fine. DD has been happy wasting her £10 in Claire's and it's been a nice day out for her.

However, she's never been expected to pay... I think it's a bit cheeky if they're expecting you to give your children spending money. Although, at 12 I've given my DD her cash card and she has been able to spend her own money if she wanted extra!

We did this for DD last year (her 13th) and she's been to her friends' similar outings. It's what they like doing at that age.

I bought all the girls a small gift card so if they hadn't brought money they could still get something but mostly they were just trying on clothes and make-up I think, nobody came home with loads of bags.

We came back here for pizza, birthday cake etc and a sleepover (with sweets, popcorn etc) and they had a small gift eg bubble bath, lip balm to take home after breakfast which was a decent one, not just a bowl of cereal. I also paid for transport into town and back.

They all seemed to have a great time and while it didn't cost me a fortune it needn't have cost the other parents any more than the presents they brought, less if you count me feeding their kids for 2 meals!

Sounds like my idea of hell.

I still have teenagers at the moment but cinema and pizza with a friend does them happily.

My daughter asked to do this one year with a few friends. I gave each of them £10 to spend and met them to buy them dinner and bring them home for a sleepover.

I was impressed with her thinking, actually. She knew there was a budget for her party and decided the activity they would all enjoy most was wandering round the shops. They had a lovely time.