rules for our new lodger...

[SantanaBinLorry]

No talking over the T.V at anytime. This digression, especially after the kids have gone to bed will be punishable by stabbing in the hand with a fork.

AIBU?

Instant loss of deposit x

digression = action ??? phone/thumbs

Yes, financial penalty (as long as I can still inflict pain!)

Bathroom - must be kept clean. No toothpaste spits in the sink & no skiddies in the loo.

And you choose what is watched!

Transgression? You could issue large coloured cards for them hold up if they wish to communicate with you e.g. red for 'urgent' blue for 'could we chat when this has finished?'

Speaking as a lodger, you're not giving them a bedroom TV?

TBH the last thing I want after work is to be sociable!

My main rule, if I had a lodger, would be "this is my favourite tea mug. Do not use my favourite tea mug. Do not offer my favourite tea mug to any guest you may have. Do not touch, approach or threaten my favourite tea mug in any way."

hahah, yes transgression! This was in my head, offence more spellable/quicker, digression came out... thumbs/phone/brain!

They will have their own bathroom and cleaning bucket, can shit on the floor if they want.
Bringing own tv, but family room is a walk through and experience of other guests has shown me that most people stop and have a little chat on the way through... ggggrrrrr.
My face has built in warning cards.

When I was a lodger I wasn't allowed to sit in the living room and my landlady took great umbrage to me using the kitchen because she'd given me a microwave and kettle in my room. Funnily enough I didn't want to live on pot noodles. It was awful and I moved out.

Bedroom TV is the way forward but do make them feel welcome!

Exception to that rule: "...unless you are making me a cup of tea, then it is mandatory to use my favourite tea mug,"

Def add kettle to bedroom. With mini fridge. Reduces walk through as much as not every hour for a hot drink.

I had a lodger once. I had to ask him to leave when he thought sex was included.
TBH, if he was a looker or had a personality or could say more than three words without using 'fuck', I might have considered it.

DS once lodged in a house where there was polythene over all the surfaces, internet was turned off at 11, there was a rota for doing laundry, and the landlady hovered around when she was cooking things and insisted that she wash and dry the utensils that she cooked with before she sat down to eat. Also the landlady required lodgers to stand on old newspapers in the bathroom, and kept a stock for that purpose. DS left after three weeks. When she did so, the landlady said that no-one had left that quickly before, which did rather suggest that nevertheless she had a high turnover of lodgers, unsurprisingly.

DH and I had lodgers when we bought our first house together. Rules I wish I'd thought to spell out loud and clear prior to them moving in include

No sex in the communal bathroom, especially when my elderly grandparents are visiting.

No toenail clippings left on living room coffee table, or the kitchen counter, or the bathroom sink..how can one person have so many toenail clippings??

If you drunkenly vomit on the bedroom carpet, please do clean it up. Moving your furniture to conceal said vomit is not cleaning it up

We laugh about it now but those were testing times

Aw, he'll be made to feel welcome, promise.
We normally rent as bnb rooms. This is a short term thing, so been questioning the difference in how you deal with house guest. BnB rrs usually stay out of the way and wiuld never dream of using the kitchen, lodger... not so much

No favourites mugs here. I'll except a cracked spongebob mug if a cuppa is made for me.
He's a cant cook wont cook kinda guy. So my kitchen is safe. He has offered to pay each night to join in with family dinner, so that suits us fine.

My year two teacher had a hat she wore when we weren't allowed to talk to her. She wouldn't even relax the rules when I was openly bleeding in front of her! I feel you can learn from her.

I live in an old B&B at the moment and have a teeny bathroom and a kitchenette. Means I only very rarely bump into my landlord and lady, who are lovely regardless. This works much better as I actually feel like I have my own place.

When I had a lodger he was really good to be honest, but the one rule I had was after meal times if we are all eating together you wash I'll Dry. That probably sounds so patronising but if you are cooking for them then it is only fair!

Also rinse the bath out properly after you've used it, I don't want to see a ring of dirt in it because you have a mucky job.