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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about far flung wedding?

40 replies

cleopatraseyebrows · 13/04/2016 19:04

AIBU to think if you invite (and truly expect) people to travel to the other side of the world for your wedding, in a venue only accessible by car that's three hours' drive from the city in which you live, that you inquire about or maybe even organise accommodation and road transport to and from said venue for your elderly parents and siblings with small kids who are coming?

OP posts:
Buzzardbird · 13/04/2016 19:05

Is it in Maui?

PixieMiss · 13/04/2016 19:06

You beat me to it Buzzard Grin

GinIsIn · 13/04/2016 19:06

Is it in Maui?

Original poster
cleopatraseyebrows · 13/04/2016 19:06

Smile No! Even further away ... Australia.

OP posts:
Couchpotato3 · 13/04/2016 19:06

Yes, that would seem like the kind and normal thing to do. However, bridezillas etc. It's not that hard to research and sort out for yourself if you actually want to go, with the internet being so comprehensive these days. Depends whether you can be bothered. How close are you and the sibling?

GinIsIn · 13/04/2016 19:06

Ha! X post with Buzzard

newmumwithquestions · 13/04/2016 19:06

Urgh buzzard you beat me to it! 😉

Couchpotato3 · 13/04/2016 19:07

TBH, it's Australia, not the back end of beyond. I think you could organise yourself family easily if you wanted to, so on that basis I'm going to say YABU

EverySongbirdSays · 13/04/2016 19:08

Awww no Buzzard bet me to it. How can it both be abroad and accessible by car?I don't understand OP

EverySongbirdSays · 13/04/2016 19:12

Having re-read the OP as I understand it you're going to Australia for a wedding and the venue is 3 hours out of the city. YANBU they should put on a coach or something

Original poster
cleopatraseyebrows · 13/04/2016 19:12

B&G have lived in Sydney for 10 years. They're having the wedding in back of beyond a three hour drive away from the city, there's no rail connection there.
We all fly into and out of Sydney.

OP posts:
carthorsespullcarts · 13/04/2016 19:13

Elderly parents YANBU, fit and healthy siblings YABU.
I wish it was Maui Grin

Sallyingforth · 13/04/2016 19:14

I would personally have no hesitation in saying "I hope you have a wonderful wedding but I'm very sorry that I can't attend as it's just too far to go."

And in thinking privately "if they really want me to come they should have been more considerate about their arrangements."

TurnOffTheTv · 13/04/2016 19:14

Well can you not ask them to sort it?

Original poster
cleopatraseyebrows · 13/04/2016 19:14

I did. Response was "I'll have a Google".

OP posts:
Buzzardbird · 13/04/2016 19:24

Yes, that would be the sensible and nice thing to do. It's a pain for people that don't know the place.

zoobaby · 13/04/2016 19:29

Forgetting the fact it's in the antipodes to start with, that 3hr transfer from Sydney is gonna be soooo NOT affordable/cheap.

SavoyCabbage · 13/04/2016 19:35

Driving for three hours is nothing to Australians. That's the problem.

I'd be more concerned about the 26 hours to get there in the first place!

TurnOffTheTv · 13/04/2016 19:36

Ok, so they are looking to sort it then?

Itinerary · 13/04/2016 19:38

Yes, I think those organising should suggest accommodation and sort out some transport. It's much easier for them to fix things up in the country where they live, than for you to try to navigate an unfamiliar system and places.

oldlaundbooth · 13/04/2016 19:41

So basically they don't want people to come.

Fresh01 · 13/04/2016 19:52

Hunter Valley?

SideOrderofChip · 13/04/2016 19:52

Dammit. Im too late to the Maui party

Original poster
cleopatraseyebrows · 13/04/2016 19:54

No they're not looking to sort it and aren't sorting it. The last contact we had was them seeing if various randomers travelling in their own cars from the city can squash us in somewhere (12 of us in total). But they dunno...
We are going, I will sort car hire and child seat rental for us. I'm not driving out of Sydney after that flight and most likely no kip for 30 hours so we'll have to stay in the city for a day and a night.
Looking forward to the holiday afterwards.
I was wondering if I was BU about being Hmm about the lack of giving a shit about the parents in particular.

It's fine. I'll point the B&G towards Google next time they arrive here and expect to be collected at the airport with bed and board for the duration of their trip.

OP posts:
Dutchess61 · 13/04/2016 19:56

Why would you go to the other side of the world for someone's wedding unless they were family or very close indeed. In that case then of course they should lay things on.