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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really pissed off at DP over inappropriate TV??

22 replies

BadDoGooder · 10/04/2016 11:55

DS is nearly 4.
DP and I seem to have v different ideas over what makes suitable viewing for a 3yr old.
Yesterday I came in the room to find him watching a music video with scenes from Sucker Punch in. awful misogynistic bullshit film
DP just couldn't understand why I made him turn it off Hmm
He thinks if DS isn't "scared" then it's fine.

I said you wouldn't take him to a strip club, so why are you playing him a violentish sexy video?

Still didn't get it, but gave in.

So this morning he's put on some stupid Nascar comedy, I'm in and out so not really paying much attention, but I happen to come in to a scene where a character is talking about posing for Playgirl, and talking graphically and loudly about spreading his butt cheeks. I was wtf? and turned it off.

DP thinks I'm mad and a party pooper, and that it will go over his head.

I think sexualised imagery and the sort of violence in 12 and most PG films nowadays is too much for a child of DS's age.

So wise MNers? AIBU?

OP posts:
JuxtapositionRecords · 10/04/2016 11:56

YANBU. A 4 year old doesn't need to see that, and your DH can watch stuff like that when she is in bed.

LaurieFairyCake · 10/04/2016 11:57

My opinion is that as soon as they can understand (about 1 yrs old) then certificate on TV shows/films apply.

I wouldn't want a two year old understand or repeating 'spreading butt cheeks'.

Tiggywinkler · 10/04/2016 11:57

YANBU. If your son started talking to his nursery workers about Playgirl and spreading butt cheeks, you'd have a child protection issue on your hands.

WellIGuessThisIsGrowingUp · 10/04/2016 11:57

DP is being unreasonable. Why would he think this is appropriate for a young child? Surely he can watch adult, more 'grown-up' stuff when your DS is not around.

Customernumberone · 10/04/2016 12:00

YANBU at all. God, I'm strict. We don't really put the tv on in the day, so ds doesn't see much, but these would be completely unacceptable. No swearing, no objectification of women (or men, if that ever happens Hmm), no guns or other violence, no sex stuff etc. They don't need that stuff in front of them.

Original poster
BadDoGooder · 10/04/2016 12:02

He gets plenty of chances to watch stuff when DS goes to bed, and he's not stupid enough to watch what he sees as proper "scary" when DS is about. I think it's never occured to him that half naked girls in a music video with added violence isn't suitable, because it's a music thing and not a film thing iyswim?

But even after explaining it a million fucking times he's either ignoring me, or just not getting when a scene is totally over the line.

It's actually really fucking me off!

OP posts:
LagunaBubbles · 10/04/2016 12:08

I'm really quite laid back but this isn't something I would agree on either. I would be more upset by the fact that your DP isn't listening to you.

Yeahsure · 10/04/2016 12:13

What Laguna said

RiverTam · 10/04/2016 12:17

What a twat. Doesn't bode well for when your DS is a teenager Snd needs to understand about respect and boundaries and consent.

Is yoyr DH normally a sexist knob?

Original poster
BadDoGooder · 10/04/2016 12:23

Excellent unanimous AIBU!
Laguna I'm so laid back most of the time I'm virtually horizontal! Grin But yeah this is an issue that I think (1st world stylee) is quite important. I hate the thought of DS growing up thinking girls in no clothing/guns/violence etc is fine.

I'm not sure if it's outright ignoring me, or if it's just a complete lack of fore thought when he sticks something on.
I have explained to him with the way music videos are now, he has to watch them first to see if they are suitable. There's a Chase and Status song which we all love, but the video has graphic drug taking/ a murder in it, and he stuck it on in front of DS. I siad I don't think we should put the video on before we've seen it, he thinks it's fine. 20 seconds later it's off and I'm giving him this look.
Hmm

He still didn't really get it.

Aaarrrggghh maybe he is just deliberately being a dick!

OP posts:
Original poster
BadDoGooder · 10/04/2016 12:25

RiverTam that's the thing, he's really, really not.
That's whats so frustrating about it, he's normally fantastic (and I am a proper hairy card carrying feminist, there's no way we'd be together if he wasn't) Grin

OP posts:
RiverTam · 10/04/2016 12:29

Bizarre. Well, stick to your guns.

Original poster
BadDoGooder · 10/04/2016 12:32

I know!
Btw "stick to your guns" in the context of the conversation made me Grin!!

OP posts:
BeautyGoesToBenidorm · 10/04/2016 12:38

YANBU. I often have to remind DP that The Blacklist and the like shouldn't go on when hyper inquisitive and parrot like 5yo DS1 is around.

And YANBU about Sucker Punch. Fucking AWFUL film.

Original poster
BadDoGooder · 10/04/2016 12:48

Ha Beauty truly fucking terrible film!
I couldn't believe that a) it was only a 12 and b) that nobody had called the director out on the insane amount of misogyny dressed up as feminism before he released it ffs!

OP posts:
bloodyteenagers · 10/04/2016 12:50

Keep switching it off. Every single time.
If say 20 more time and he is still doing it, then is the time to be blunt.

Listen you dumb arsehole. How fucking stupid so you have to be to not understand why it's not appropriate for kids? You think some other moron was sitting in a room and said oh I know I will whack on this age rating. It's a load of bollocks but hey why
Not.. No. It's because it isn't appropriate for children. Not only that some of the shit
You are showing could legally get you into a lot of trouble. There are laws around showing certain content to minors. Finally, the nursery/school could easily report to SS. You really want them picking through every aspect of your live? You going to explain that you are a know it all dumb
Fuck who doesn't listen to the voice of reason? You want to move elsewhere whilst the investigation is carried out?

Yes, some bits are exaggerated. But sometimes it's the only way.

Bogeyface · 10/04/2016 13:06

I have had this with H. He will put something on, I will say that I dont think its appropriate and he will say that they arent watching it. Well no, but they are around and it filters in. He will huffily turn it off but with a very bad grace.

Thankfully now he watches all of his crap on his tablet with earphones in, which is a nice get out of family life, but thats another thread.......

NeedACleverNN · 10/04/2016 13:15

I like sucker punch

It's not suitable for a 4 year old though

BoatyMcBoat · 10/04/2016 13:21

Remind him that a 4 yo can't differentiate what is 'film stuff' and what is 'music stuff'. Ask him if the scene in Reservoir Dogs where they guy's eat get cut off is film or music stuff, as it's meant to be both really, isn't it? Or maybe he could explain to ds that actually, that one is neither film nor music stuff, but is Art?

Original poster
BadDoGooder · 10/04/2016 13:26

Thanks everyone.

We are now gardening with the tv firmly off, and everyone is happy except the dog Grin

OP posts:
NeedACleverNN · 10/04/2016 13:32

My dh was terrible for it

Watching Mrs Browns when Dd was about and Jurassic park.

I get up the moaning and was met with but it doesn't bother her etc etc etc

One day she started quoting Mrs Browns and swearing.

Dh suddenly cottoned on and now he won't watch it

EverySongbirdSays · 10/04/2016 14:42

Was the NASCAR film Talledega Nights with Will Ferrell?

AWFUL UNFUNNY SHITE

These days there are plenty of age appropriate things that adults can also enjoy.

All the Pixar stuff is brilliant, some of the fantasy/superhero stuff can be, depends which one and how violent.

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