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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU about my dh doing our new kitchen?

24 replies

Rocco14 · 09/03/2016 23:28

I am getting a gorgeous new kitchen, my dh is fitting it himself, he is very handy but has never taken on a project this big before, he started in January and it's still only half done, he is a perfectionist and takes forever getting everything perfect, everyone tells me I will appreciate it when it's done but it's nearly 3 months now!!!!!

OP posts:
5Foot5 · 09/03/2016 23:40

Blimey that's brave! We had a new kitchen last autumn but we had someone do the whole thing. It took about a month but that was more than enough. There were complications along the way that I am not sure an amateur would have spotted. Just saying...

WutheringFrights · 09/03/2016 23:44

My husband is planning a DIY extension, he is more than capable.

He is also a perfectionist and a procrastinating one at that.

It has taken him a year to decorate our shoe cupboard...

I am not planning on ever having the extension.

nocakes · 09/03/2016 23:44

Does he have a full time job too? My dh has nearly finished ours, totally on his own, after approx 9 months and working full time. Mind you it needed new floor and ceiling and rewiring etc. I wouldn't give him a hard time yet if he is working as well

Pinkheart5915 · 09/03/2016 23:47

3 months is a long time to have the mess and stress of having a kitchen fitted while living in the house.
Is he fitting around his job? If so I guess it's understandable it's taking a little longer. If not it certainly is a long time.

GiddyOnZackHunt · 09/03/2016 23:47

The problem of the competent amateur.
DH drove me nearly mad about some shelves once with his 'thinking about it' and subsequently has driven me to distraction with perfectionism. Yes he does an utterly fabulous, millimetre perfect job but he takes fecking forever.
Therefore we have unimportant, non urgent jobs on which he can excise his perfectionism. And jobs which need to be done well enough or done quickly.

Original poster
Rocco14 · 09/03/2016 23:56

He is sort of fitting it around his job, he's a landscape gardener so took the project on while work was sparse in January, his work was cancelled today because of rain and he admitted he fell back to sleep till 11.30 that's why I'm pissed off enough to write this post, enraged that I've been out at work all day while he basically wasted a day sleeping while he could have been cracking on, then I'm trying to cook with no hob just an oven and microwave, I've also gained a stone from so many takeaways, I'm just pissed off and fat basically,

OP posts:
Pinkheart5915 · 09/03/2016 23:58

I'd be annoyed as well, he said he was going to do the project so should put the effort in when his not at work.
You must be sick of take always by now.
Are you in a position where you could pay somebody to finish the job?

MyKingdomForBrie · 10/03/2016 00:01

I would have taken the chance for a lie in too though.. As long as he worked on it the rest of the day that's only really an hour down.

Original poster
Rocco14 · 13/04/2016 22:01

The kitchen is (almost) done and looking beautiful, I am still fat. Thanks for all your kind messages and support!

OP posts:
madasa · 13/04/2016 22:24

Ours was finished (almost) last month. It took a year, for many reasons...my partner has a heavy manual job (carpenter) and is knackered when he gets home, he is a perfectionist so everything takes forever, he was going behind a bodgit builder, he did the wiring, plumbing etc....but it was worth it!

Junosmum · 13/04/2016 22:31

My husband fitted our new kitchen (except work tops and tiling, which I did. Took 10 days to rip out the old one, put in the new one, paint, tile and put up curtains and blinds and another 3 evenings to lay the floor. He took a week off work and did the rest in the evening. I helped. 3 months is ridiculous.

SwedishEdith · 13/04/2016 22:31

Is it because it's the only was to afford it? If not, I'd insist on getting someone in to do it.

"everyone tells me I will appreciate it when it's done" - after 4 months, I'd start to hate it. Grin

madasa · 13/04/2016 22:34

The other reason ours took so long is bloody life got in the way. Bereavement, two new puppies etc. However, even though it took so long we were able to use it for most of that time

Jelliebabe1 · 14/04/2016 19:00

Wuthering frights - your shoe cupboard is so big it needs decorating!?!?!? (((Mind boggles)))

gentlydownthestreamm · 14/04/2016 19:15

DP did ours (with me helping wherever I could) and it also took forever. I think maybe 6 months in total. But we saved so much money!

Ours finally got finished when Christmas approached, we had family coming to stay with us and I had a mini melt down an dsaid I could not handle doing Christmas and hosting guests without a properly functioning kitchen. He took my point and made a big effort to get it all done.

But I'm hoping you don't have to wait until Xmas for yours!

BubbleandSqueeeek · 14/04/2016 20:25

My OH doesn't have brilliant attention to detail at times but is very enthusiastic with DIY in short bursts. Our house is full of half finished jobs, e.g. where he decided to rip the understairs cupboard out to fit a comfy bench , or knock through from the kitchen to the lean to and plasterboard it, plus many more I won't mention. None of them are finished and we live in a borderline building site with baby number 2 on the way.... Hmm

Pilgit · 14/04/2016 21:06

Come beginning of May our kitchen will have been a year in the making. DH promised me it would be done by the end of August. Not sure which year though.

Lazyafternoon · 14/04/2016 21:13

I feel your pain. I think I gained 2 stone while DH and FIL were doing our extension. The 6 week job took 6 months. I swore we were never using a microwave ever again. My gorgeous range cooker was the most amazing thing to ever land in my life.

Unfortunately my long awaited kitchen had a biscuit cupboard! Still trying to loose the weight 2 years later :-)

Thisisnotausername · 14/04/2016 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Rocco14 · 16/04/2016 01:30

Well only ridiculous because maybe I didn't mention that we both work long hours and when the kitchen was ripped out we discovered so many problems like boiler, electrics all wrong, flooring raised too high, hiding under floor heating that we never knew we had! Just a Pandora's box of problems, of course I didn't have to get fat, that was humorous, a comment on fed up of eating ready meals really! I didn't get fat, why be so nasty? Hiding behind social media is so cowardly commenting when people are asking advice not to be ripped down, I am so lucky I don't have to be mean to people online to make myself feel better, I'm not fat, I have a gorgeous handyman husband who adores me and can create my dream kitchen because he loves me so much he wants it to be perfect. Fuck off horrible commenters!

OP posts:
Original poster
Rocco14 · 16/04/2016 01:31

And all the lovely people on this thread, thankyou xxxxxx

OP posts:
Original poster
Rocco14 · 16/04/2016 01:34

That was for Junosmum mostly pissed me right off ! And thisisnotausername

OP posts:
Thisisnotausername · 16/04/2016 07:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Yeahsure · 16/04/2016 07:41

What on earth are you ranting about OP?

You've said twice you are 'fat'. Y

ou also came on here to vent about your dh (fair enough) taking too long and having a lie in and now you are angrily 'defending' him and calling him a 'gorgeous handyman' Confused

You sound very odd. Enjoy your kitchen.

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