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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To keep on living my life?

12 replies

CallMeExhausted · 08/03/2016 00:27

I have been diagnosed with a condition with a poor long term prognosis (not a cancer, but frequently fatal without transplant in 5-8 years). However, I don't feel as bad as the reports I have been reading from other patients with the same laboratory/imaging/biopsy results.

My DH knows, of course, but is it reasonable for me to keep it to us only for now?

I don't want to tell my ILs - not yet - as MIL is a worry wart and FIL has many medical friends and thinks nothing of over sharing over a game of golf or curling.

I don't want them seeing me as sick when I am not - I may be in the future, but why buy trouble now?

OP posts:
Fatmomma99 · 08/03/2016 00:29

Your illness, your choice.

The person with the 'thing' gets to set the tone, and everyone around you needs to comply.

I'm sorry you're not well, and hope it turns out better than you are expecting. Flowers

sandgrown · 08/03/2016 00:29

It is up to you who you tell and how you deal with your diagnosis. I would keep it to yourselves for now. Good Luck x

Junosmum · 08/03/2016 00:30

Your body, your health, your decision. I do think that your DH may need a sounding board so talking to him about telling a trusted friend may be an idea.

If it were me I'd keep it to myself for now, but I'm a very private person and don't get the 'needing people for support' thing a think a lot of responses will suggest.

liinyo · 08/03/2016 00:32

YANBU. This is a big deal and you need to do what feels right for you. As you say, there might come a time when it becomes apparent and/or they need to know, but until then your priority should be taking care of you and your DH.

All best wishes for the future. [Flowers] xx

liinyo · 08/03/2016 00:32

Oops Flowers

Pinkheart5915 · 08/03/2016 00:33

Your illness you decide who you tell.
[Flower]
Enjoy every moment you have do all the things you love.

CallMeExhausted · 08/03/2016 00:34

DH is not really one to discuss things (that aren't related to his hobby or work - then you can't get a word in edgewise). However, I would have no issue with him confiding in a friend - I do understand the sounding board concept.

Thanks. I was wobbling a bit, the diagnosis is still new. Who knows - new treatments happen all the time, maybe one will come up for this, too.

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Halftruth · 08/03/2016 00:50

How did if feel to share? i hope it has lifted some of the weight. You could start a support board on here .I don't know much about how you would go about it ,but i'm sure someone could help you on here .and just take it all in your own pace Smile

CallMeExhausted · 08/03/2016 13:54

My biggest challenge is trying to explain my coughing. For a while, blaming it on a lingering cold was fine, then asthma (though it doesn't sound like an asthma cough), but i generally sound like I belong in a sanatorium.

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Halftruth · 08/03/2016 16:20

Bit personal .but have you thought about how you want to enjoy your health while it good ? Is there anything that you haven't done thatyou would love to do

CallMeExhausted · 08/03/2016 23:21

Briefly, but in all reality I live month to month financially. I dare not think of the "bucket list" as I am far more concerned about saving as much money as I possibly can to ensure my children are afretted by this as little as possible.

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CallMeExhausted · 08/03/2016 23:41

*affected

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