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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

not to work full time when I am the breadwinner

11 replies

cornishglos · 07/03/2016 23:04

I earn about £10k more than my partner. We have 2 kids and I am on mat leave. I absolutely love it and would love to be a SAHM, but for my career and our family I will go back to work. If I worked full time we'd be much better off. But my dp enjoys his job more than I enjoy mine. AIBU not to consider working full time while the kids are small?

OP posts:
WLmum · 07/03/2016 23:16

Not at all. Same here - I earn more than dh, and have more earning potential if I went for it in my career but I don't want to. I currently work 4 days and am planning to drop to 3.5. I feel like I'm missing out on my babies (8,5&3) when I'm at work and working too many hours leaves me too knackered to enjoy them when I am home. We are all happier if I'm around more - we are lucky that we can survive on less than ft, so the time and happiness are more important to me/us than the extra money. Your work life balance is a very personal thing and only you know what's right for you. Life is short, do what makes you happy!

cornishglos · 07/03/2016 23:20

Oh good. I thought so, but wondered if I should at least consider it. Thanks.

OP posts:
GiddyOnZackHunt · 07/03/2016 23:23

We both worked reduced hours when our dc were preschool. It meant we had more time with them and made school holidays when one started easier.
If you have enough to live and save a bit for rainy days then why not? Work to live :)

LouTheMac · 08/03/2016 10:24

Of course YANBU - there is more to life than money. I have a similar issue, I earn more working PT than my DH does working FT, financially it would make sense for us to swap roles. But I never would unless we had major financial problems. DH worries about his job stability so I would do what I had to do if he ever lost his job of course.
When DS is older I will probably ramp up my career again but at the moment I can't see when that would be! (He's 2.5 & I want another one!)

boredofusername · 08/03/2016 10:29

I am also the main breadwinner and don't work full-time.

DolorestheNewt · 08/03/2016 10:32

If you will have enough money to live on, go for it. I earn four times what my DH earns (though I don't earn as much as that makes it sound - it's just that DH earns very little!) so I didn't have the option. If I'd had the option, I'd have lived frugally and stayed at home.

Ameliablue · 08/03/2016 10:33

Depends if you can afford it.

NuckyT · 08/03/2016 11:06

DP and I both work - DP part-time and me full-time. Knowing what I know now, I would definitely have dropped my hours and gone part-time, but given that I was the highest earner we would not have been able to afford it by a long chalk.

However, if you can sustain it there's no reason to stay full-time if you'd rather not.

Farandole · 08/03/2016 11:15

This is entirely dependent on your aspirations in life. Do you have retirement plans? Do you want your children to attend independent schools? Do you want to holiday abroad frequently? Can you afford it? Or would you rather live more frugally but with more spare time with your kids? There is no right or wrong answer, it boils down to preferences.

I wouldn't make the same choice as you, but I wouldn't call you unreasonable.

RubbleBubble00 · 08/03/2016 12:25

It's not about working ft. It's more about having enough to live on. If u can afford to live on your pt and dp full time what's the issue

Lurkedforever1 · 08/03/2016 12:33

Depends on whether you are happy to take the financial hit. Not adding to savings for a few years is a very different scenario to struggling to pay for essentials. And for all the range of scenarios inbetween it is just a personal choice.

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