S'more a case of he is BU?

[MrsSeanBean]

Brief facts:
Parents are in 80s.
DB is 40s. He lives with them.

Yesterday I put up two pictures in sitting room with agreement of and help from DD.
DB has taken both pictures down and hidden them as he says he hates them and us not having them in the room. ( They are in offensive and DD liked them.)

I asked DD about it and he just shrugged his shoulders and says he's 'easy' (he often does this to keep the peace).

I have said no more about it (yet) but am fuming that DB has had the cheek to do this. I might add that DB doesn't work or contribute anything financially to the household. He lives there rent free and I feel is acting out of order. This might seem a petty thing but it's just one example of how he acts like he owns the place.

Sigh. So who is BU?

Thank you for temporarily entering my mad little world.

PS by DD I mean dad (DF..?)

From someone who is not emotionally involved and always wants to avoid conflict... I personally think if your Dad doesn't mind and your DB feels that strongly about them then so be it.... HOWEVER it would annoy the crap out of me too so feel annoyed, vent on here, know you are not alone and move on. It's not worth falling out with your family over.

Took a while to work out DD was dF but no, I don't think you are unreasonable. On one hand it's your brothers home though and up to your parents how they deal with this.

Eugh...I know how your feeling.
Your dad probably wants as little conflict as possible but yes your Db is U.

My nan has her adult son living with her and the way he treats her really pisses me off. He's not my granddads son, so he doesn't listen to him. My grandad is going through a health scare at the moment and can't do any house hold things. My nan still works 40+ hours a week and is knackered when off.

My uncle lounges about the house all day, effing, blinding and messing things up. Screams at my nan if asked to do anything and storms upstairs smoking weed.

Only leaves the house to get his daily methodone medicine.

Nan wants an easy life and let's him get away with it al

Why the hell we can't just write "my dad", "my brother" or "my son" on here instead of the constantly confusing and counter-intuitive DB (dear bollocks), I'll never know...

Fair points both, I just feel annoyed with DB for acting as if his opinion is the only one which counts, and for DF for caving in. I accept DF is old and doesn't want stress. I think what annoys me most is that although yes, it is his home ( technically), he contributes nothing and is supported by parents. He's not daft either, he (DB) could work and support himself if he wanted to.

You can't win with that situation, can you?

Your D B is definitely BU, for everything, really.

And your parents are BU to have let him live for free, but that is their choice.

YANBU to be pissed of with DB for being so fucking lazy, rude and entitled. But WBU if you tried to 'correct' anything.

It must be really hard seeing your DB treat your parents like that

Needaclever it's maddening to have to watch people get away with behaviour like that, isn't it? I feel for you, your nan & your grandad.

Ah, thank you OurBlanch, that's wise advice.

It's awful...

My nan asked my dh to help in the garden yesterday as uncle "doesn't do gardening". He felt really uncomfortable standing there whilst uncle shouted and raved at my nan but dare not say anything incase it backfired.

He was moaning because he had to push my grandad in a hospital for an urgent appoitment and it was taking too long

need - makes you wonder just how many lazy arrogant wasters there are around to be taking advantage of good natured intimidated elderly parents..