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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD - Neighbour's noisy party coming up

31 replies

Pannacotta07 · 04/03/2016 09:42

Ever since we bought our flat we have had a lot of issues with our noisy upstairs neighbour. She throws noisy parties, generally plays loud music, walks around her hardwood floor flat in heavy shoes.

My husband is more bothered about this than i am but he is right in the sense that she has no regard whatsover about others and often needs to be told to turn the noise down.

[We found out that the people who sold the flat to us 3 years ago also had huge issues with her.]

Yesterday she tells my husband she will be throwing a party 2 weeks from now on a Saturday night. My husband tells her ok, but turn down music or stop at midnight and she says no she can't. Based on our past experience her parties go on until 4am and it is impossible to sleep or even watch TV during this time. (we have 2 kids 8 and 11)

We considered going away for the weekend but then decided not to as our son will have exams the week after so he needs to be home to revise.

My husband says we should call the police if the party continues after midnight. I think we should write her an email that says the party needs to finish at 1am to forewarn her and also to create a paper trail. I don't want us to be completely falling out with her either.

What would you do? Any other ideas?

OP posts:
Chiup · 04/03/2016 10:12

YANBU.

Email her to say no loud music or excessive noise after 11pm.

Call police if it's still rowdy by midnight. She is U and creating a disturbance!

wheresthetea · 04/03/2016 10:29

"She says no she can't" stop the party at midnight? What rubbish. Is she saying her parties are so out of control that she's unable to get her guests to leave when she asks them to? I suspect not and what she means is not "I can't" but "I don't want to"!

Be polite but firm OP. Tell her about how disruptive this is to your family, especially your son with his upcoming exams, and that you'll be very unhappy if it continues past 1am. Then she can't be surprised if the police turn up.

Collaborate · 04/03/2016 10:37

It's unlikely that the police will come out to a noisy party - especially on a Saturday night - when most Local authorities (or perhaps all) now have the responsibility for enforcing noise legislation. Get in touch with Environmental Health at your LA and ask them for guidance.

Princesspeach1980 · 04/03/2016 11:42

The police don't deal with noise complaints, but some local councils have an overnight noise team who respond to complaints. I would phone the council in advance and find out what their out of hours noise complaint process is, so you can have the phone numbers to hand if it's bad on the night.

Bear in mind though, that the noise officers will have to come to your flat first usually, to witness the noise, so it's not very discreet and your neighbour will have a good idea who has reported them.

trulybadlydeeply · 04/03/2016 12:07

In our area it is the borough council who deal with noise, as it is an environmental health issue. Ours asks for a completed incident record sheet - basically a log of when/what/where etc, and as much detail as possible. With sufficient evidence they will install equipment to monitor the disturbance.

So whilst she should respect your wishes about not continuing after midnight etc, and whilst it may be very tempting to book into a cheap hotel for the night, if it does pan out as you suspect with this party, it could actually be really valuable evidence for getting the problem sorted out long term. So, yes to email her with your request to the party finishing at 1am (more than generous IMHO!) and keeping a paper trail. Log anything and everything from now on, even if it is very loud music during the day. Use phone or tablet to record audio evidence.

MetalMidget · 04/03/2016 12:15

YANBU, but judging from the hairdryer thread you'll get a load of people telling you that you are, and that you should live in a detached house if you don't like shared noise from attached properties!

Perfectlypurple · 04/03/2016 12:17

The police gave I power to deal with this. Ring your local environmental health dept now to see if they have out if hours and for advice on what to do.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 04/03/2016 12:18

She's given you 2 weeks notice.
Living with someone above/below/beside you always carries noise issues.

I think in your shoes (and I'm mindful because I have noisy party NDN and a DC doing exams soon) I'd be out on the night (or at least one person in your flat just in case there is some plank you floods her bathroom) but you expect her to respect the fact your DS is doing exams so you need quiet when he;s studying.

Going away sounds the best plan really, your son can study up till then, have a night off, or take books/laptop with him.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 04/03/2016 12:20

BTW , I've had notice from other neighbours (not my NDNs) about noise, but only because they don't bloody invite me Hmm

Perfectlypurple · 04/03/2016 12:25

Should say police don't have the power

Ubik1 · 04/03/2016 12:27

Get the number fur your local noise team. At midnight, phone them. Hold the phone out to the noise.

Is she renting?

brummiesue · 04/03/2016 21:35

When was her last noisy party? If it was a while ago then maybe you should just stick it out, people are entitled to the odd one off. Maybe go away and give your son quiet time to study if it's going to bother you that much.

LifeofI · 04/03/2016 23:07

Op all i can say i have sympathies, I am going through this with a man who stomps around on shoes in laminate. I am hoping he gets evicted because i doubt he will leave. Most upstairs neighbors have 0 regard for anyone else, they truly do deserve be moved under some horrible stompers for the rest of their life, its common sense but they make out you are the problem all the time. Its not hard to walk around in slippers when you have someone below you

LifeofI · 04/03/2016 23:12

oh i just re read, well to be fair she did warn you before hand, I would also say go away. She does seem like she is trying minus the stomping around in shoes.

KoalaDownUnder · 04/03/2016 23:26

I know some people hate earplugs, but can you use them?

I agree that you shouldn't have to (as someone who lived under noisy neighbors for two fecking years, they are a special species of arsehole), but as a short-term solution....might enable your son to study.

Bunbaker · 04/03/2016 23:38

Is there not a cheap B & B or Travel Lodge nearby that you can go to for the night?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 04/03/2016 23:49

She sounds like a selfish arse who thinks that by giving you notice it means that she can do what she wants.

She definitely could stop at midnight. I agree with other posters who say tell her you'll complain if it's past 1am.it's not a one off, she has a history of disturbing you.

We manage to live just fine without noisy parties, they aren't a prerequisite of life.

Redglitter · 04/03/2016 23:51

Depends where you live. In Scotland police most definitely do go to noise complaints and empty parties. Even been known to sieze equipment too

AuntJane · 04/03/2016 23:55

As you're in flats may I assume it's leasehold? If so, what does the lease day about noise? Contact the lessor and ask them to enforce the lease.

Baconyum · 04/03/2016 23:58

Not everywhere in Scotland is as good at dealing with noise.

My advice? Move! I've had 2 really noisy neighbours. Council, police etc did bugger all! Short term stay elsewhere that night even somewhere nearby so your son can study as much as possible.

Original poster
Pannacotta07 · 05/03/2016 00:44

Thank you for all your responses. I will look at spending the night away but it just feels wrong to be driven out of our home for the sake of her party Hmm

OP posts:
BlossomMagic · 05/03/2016 02:27

I think you should stick with your original 12am. If you move it to 1am you look as though you might concede more. Also it might take her a while to quieted down if you're knocking or if the local authority send a council ranger round (not sure what you call them in the U.K.) The earlier the process starts, the better.

Is there anyone else who will be bothered by the noise? Next door? Can you enlist their help?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 05/03/2016 05:35

No way would I spend the night away so someone could party all night

Bunbaker · 05/03/2016 09:27

"No way would I spend the night away so someone could party all night"

I agree that it shouldn't be the case, but with an unreasonable sounding neighbour like the OP's what is the alternative? Put up with the noise? No sleep?

namelessposter · 05/03/2016 09:29

Check your lease. It almost certainly says no noise after 11pm. Then report her to the freeholder for breach of lease. They will be obliged to act.