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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go to baby group when dd has a cold

23 replies

bettybananafeet · 23/02/2016 08:42

What's the etiquette here? In a ftm and 3.5m dd has a cold, no temp and still well in herself just a lovely snuffly crusty nose.

It's the only group I go to so would be a shame to miss it and I know colds are pretty common but don't want all the other mums thinking "get that snuffly baby away from my child".

Would I be unreasonable to attend?

OP posts:
blueturtle6 · 23/02/2016 08:44

Yes! Ywbu. Currently dd and I ill with a cold she got at baby group, keep germs to yourself at home

Floggingmolly · 23/02/2016 08:44

It would probably be ok. If she was running around with the other kids, mouthing toys, etc, it would be a definite no; but a tiny baby who will probably sleep through the entire thing should be fine.

Original poster
bettybananafeet · 23/02/2016 08:49

Hmm actually she does keep doing elaborate sneezes, I'll give it a miss this week then Grin

OP posts:
GreatFuckability · 23/02/2016 08:49

I would go. If I stayed in every time one of my kids had a cold id never leave the house!

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore · 23/02/2016 08:50

I don't think that yabu. Babies can have 8-12 colds in their first year which can last 12-14 days each. That's a lot of the year to be stuck at home with a sniffle! I certainly wouldn't mind if someone showed up at a baby group when their baby has a cold - it's all building the immune system isn't it? And I say this when I've been up most of the night because my baby has a cold, so I must mean it! Do you know the other babies at the group? I guess it would be different maybe if there was going to be a baby with a weakened immune system for any reason there...

superking · 23/02/2016 08:56

Tricky - on the one hand she is not mobile and so, as other posters have said, won't be crawling around and putting things in her mouth. On the other hand if she is 3.5 months presumably the other babies are that age or even younger and so might be made pretty miserable by a cold.

I would probably go but would try to keep her in car seat/ sling/ pram if possible so you are making at least a token effort to stop her infecting others. If there are any newborns there I would keep her well away from them.

But colds are a fact of life and they get so many in the first few years that it's just not feasible to isolate them every time they have a snotty nose. Plus doesn't exposure to minor childhood sniffles help to build up their immune system?

Sanch1 · 23/02/2016 09:02

I'd go! YANBU. If you stayed at home everytime your children had a sniffle you'd never go anywhere! Any mum's who are precious about it are being ridiculous.

Original poster
bettybananafeet · 23/02/2016 09:05

I'm pretty sure she's the youngest one there, its baby sign and I really only go cos my friend with an older child goes aswell and we have lunch afterwards and I figure it can't hurt even though clearly she doesn't have a clue what is going on. She can barely make it through the hour without needing to go to sleep tbh!
There is a bit where they hand out rattles etc but maybe I'll just make sure she doesn't take one?
She probably got the cold from there in the first place actually!

OP posts:
GlitteryFluff · 23/02/2016 09:23

I'd go. I take DS if he has a runny nose or a little cough, otherwise we'd never go as there's always something wrong with him. He's always snotty. I don't know what others do.

StarlingMurmuration · 23/02/2016 09:28

I'd go. They have so many colds in the first few years, it would be completely impractical to stay in every time they had one, as PP have said.

I've got to ask though, why is her snuffley crusty nose "lovely"?!

VagueIdeas · 23/02/2016 09:37

It did piss me off when people took obviously ill babies to baby groups. I mean, what's in it for the baby, when they're feeling poorly? Surely they'd be happier cuddled up or sleeping at home?

A crusty nose isn't so bad, but I remember one mum cheerfully announcing that her boy had vomited that morning... Hmm

Original poster
bettybananafeet · 23/02/2016 09:42

I was being sarcastic Starling!! Grin

OP posts:
AntiHop · 23/02/2016 10:06

I would go. You can't stay home with every little sniffle. When my dd was a few months old I was overly precious and used to feel annoyed with other parents turned up with babies with colds. However I quickly realised that it's unrealistic to stay at home with every sniffle.

qazxc · 23/02/2016 10:11

I'd assume that the etiquette for baby group is the same as creche. Colds are ok but anything with a temp, vomiting, etc you keep your them at home.

StarlingMurmuration · 23/02/2016 10:52

Oh ok! I thought maybe you like picking her nose

catsinthecraddle · 23/02/2016 11:02

I used to keep mine away to avoid spreading germs everywhere, unfortunately I seem to be the only one. I can't count the amount of times when mums drag their obviously sick children in playgroups "because they'are bored at home and mum wants a coffee".

What this silly women forget is that a child cold can be a lot worst on someone else. My baby ended up twice in hospital with croup because of a selfish stupid mother who was happy sharing her kids horrible cough.

These horrible mums don't care if you end up with a week of sleepless night because your child got their germs. It's not fair, but what can you do. ( I moved after my first, to a much nicer area where parents are a lot more pleasant and considerate, but it's not easy for everybody!).

Shakirasma · 23/02/2016 11:02

Id go as long as your DD seems up to it. I'm the first to be annoyed when people are blasé about spreading their children's sickness or chicken poxy germs but if you let a mild cold stop you doing stuff you'd never go anywhere!

Paintedhandprints · 23/02/2016 11:22

Currently suffering from a cold while 36wks pg. Yabu.
My ds also is a poor sleeper and much poorer when he has a cold.
But, cant keep them wrapped in cotton wool so depends if you really want to go or not. (not helpful) Smile

Bragadocia · 23/02/2016 11:28

If it were a group for older babies, I can see why going wouldn't necessarily be unreasonable, but if they're all just a few months old, it's a bit thoughtless to inflict colds on them.

ScandiManny · 23/02/2016 11:30

I'm on the fence. Nursery tell us not to keep them off with colds and at this time of year they do seem pretty inevitable. On the other hand, we're missing playgroup today because a colleague is taking her 2 children who both currently have colds (snotty noses, coughs and disbursed sleep according to her) and my youngest has a compromised immune system so a cold for him is bigger deal than usual. I think it's disappointing that both of my children have to miss out this week but I'm sure her children would've also been disappointed to miss it so, tricky. No one really trumps the other do they.

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs · 23/02/2016 11:32

I'd go. Nursery and childminders are fine to take them with a cold. If she had a temp and was obviously ill then no, but a crusty nose isn't something to keep you at home IMO.

Muskateersmummy · 23/02/2016 11:34

If she's well in herself and no temp, I would go. You can't keep them at home for every snotty nose. My dd started at nursery at 5 months and I sent her with colds, otherwise I may as well have been a stay at home mum, I would never have been able to send her in!

She's currently nursing a delightful cough, and she's in preschool. She had two days off last week when she had a temp, and was unhappy. But now there's no temp and she is her usually non stop self, she's at preschool.

Waypasttethersend · 23/02/2016 11:36

Oh ignore the quarantiners, if I stayed home or kept DCs at home for a cold I'd go crazy, get fired for missing work and probably fined by school. Snotty is the status quo from October to March Hmm

Vomit, rash, whiny hot baby then stay home.

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