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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

did anyone labour alone (or wish they had)?

25 replies

ollieplimsoles · 21/02/2016 11:04

I was induced with this dissolvable tablet at 9pm with dd. Dh was staying over on the induction ward with me. Things started off immediately and it was the middle of the night so I wondered off into a private bathroom and stayed there alone in labour til around 3am (when I went to tell dh I needed another examination!)

All the time dh was struggling to sleep on the ward, I loved labouring alone I was completely in my own world and was so relaxed.

Did anyone else labour alone? I would do it again definitely but some of my friends think its bad that dh wasn't there for me (even though he was just down the corridor)!

OP posts:

Aylish1993 · 21/02/2016 11:08

I did, up until about ten minutes before my son was born and then my husband arrived. I wouldn't have had any other way because he would of got right on my wick. I could just concentrate on me rather then him and him being bored and worrying. So next time around I will definitely by doing the same. 😀😊

Katenka · 21/02/2016 11:09

I did the first half of labour with dd without dh. I was induced at 7pm it was fine. I would rather he was at home getting rest. He came back at 11am and was with me until she was born that evening.

With ds I was in hospital when I went into labour (had been in slow labour for days so they took me in) my water broke and I sent dh home to rest at 9am.

Nothing really happened until 6am then I dilated all the way in 40 mins. I was rushed to the labour ward. Dh made it into the room just as ds was coming out. So I did 99% on my own.

Tbh both were fine. I was glad he got there for ds being born, he was well and I wouldn't have been scared on my own. But I was fine with the labour in my own.

Katenka · 21/02/2016 11:10

Sent him home at 9pm that should say

MillionToOneChances · 21/02/2016 11:11

I did with my first, though not through deliberate choice, I just let my H finish out his day at work because I was managing fine. When we went to the hospital they wouldn't put me in a delivery suite as they said my labour wasn't established. I refused to go home but H wasn't allowed to stay with me on the ward as it was after 9pm. He went home for a few hours (they gave him the impression it would be well into the next day) and only made it back in time to see baby's head crowning as they still hadn't believed me when I said it was speeding up so hadn't rushed him. It was fine. Like you, I was off in a world of my own.

Original poster

ollieplimsoles · 21/02/2016 11:13

I went from 5cm to 10cm in 30 mins and that's all dh saw! He was there fur her being born.

I agree that I felt so much better not having to worry about him worrying about me if that makes sense!

OP posts:

Sighing · 21/02/2016 11:18

I did with first (exH was asleep). It was my shortest labour. I did what I needed / wanted without "helpful" comments. Things are ramping up for me today (may well come to nothing) but accommodating my DH's need to be involved is a teeny bit frustrating.

LovelyBranches · 21/02/2016 11:23

I was induced but it worked slowly but immediately on me if that makes sense. I laboured alone from 8pm to 10am. I was texting and ringing dh to try and tell him but he was fast asleep. I then spent the next day off my face on pethedine with dh by my side and when I finally got to the labour ward DH decided his contact lenses qere hurting and he had to go home (leaving me alone) and then that he was tired and so he went for a sleep in the waiting room. Ds was born the following morning.

chibsortig · 21/02/2016 11:30

I did with my last DD i went in last january as i thought i had a water infection and they kept me in for monitoring i was 36+3 so wasnt expecting her just then. My DH stayed home with the other kids and it snowed so school got cancelled that wednesday and our daughter decided to come at lunchtime total suprise, the power went out in the hospital luckily the back generator came on, 5 minutes later i had a baby. It was so quick from the start of labour to delivery my OH didnt miss anything by not being present. The midwife was great. There was only me to focus on no annoying OH flapping with me being in pain.

Oncandystripedlegs · 21/02/2016 11:32

With DD 2 I was pretty much on my own until the midwife came in for the last 7 minutes! I was induced but the whole process was super-quick....an hour and half in total. My DP was sent home to sleep and ended up walking in 15 minutes after she was born. It was all very intense but not a bad experience, I was so focused on the contractions I didn't care that I was on my own!

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 21/02/2016 11:35

I wanted to left alone to die

aprilanne · 21/02/2016 11:39

i did i love my hubby but he faints when he cuts his own finger so no good to me and i enjoyed those first minutes with my 3 sons just me and them .

CrownofStars · 21/02/2016 11:55

I sort of did.
He had some kind of food poisoning/tummy bug all day and went to bed early feeling absolutely dreadful. When I started getting contractions I woke him up to put the plastic sheet on the bed but then left him sleeping and went back to the front room. I watched VH1 all night and bopped around to the music when the contractions hit. It was all very calm and quite a special time, just me, my tens machine and the cheesy hits of the 80's.

When things started to heat up (about 7 in the morning) I woke him and got him to phone for the midwives. They arrived about half an hour later and baby 15 minutes after that.

CrownofStars · 21/02/2016 11:58

Oh,should have said, he did make the actual birth but nearly missed it as he was on the phone yo my Mum letting her know I was in labour.

slicedfinger · 21/02/2016 12:06

I had to. It was horrible. It may have been different if I knew I could get to DH when I wanted him though, and if DD had not been premature.

Ohwoolballs · 21/02/2016 12:07

CrownofStars I'm scrapping my birth plan and using yours, without the food poisoning!
Sounds perfect!
(5 weeks to go!)

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 21/02/2016 12:42

Laboured solo with my middle one and it was bliss. I wasn't given the option for my third and it still pisses me off at times, although it wasn't anyone's fault.

Lalala82 · 21/02/2016 12:45

I did, v v fast labour and husband was struggling to get in to hospital after finding care for our dd. Ds was v early ( 10 weeks ) but I look back and think the labour was actually ok on my own although I'm sad my h missed him arriving

Dawndonnaagain · 21/02/2016 12:49

I did with my second. I fell asleep around ten and at six they woke me to push. I then had my best friend come in, dh was left on the corridor! Ds was born at 6.15.

babyboomersrock · 21/02/2016 12:51

I was alone for much of my second labour. It was 2 days before my due date and I'd walked miles every day that week, hoping it would start things off.

I was determined not to go into hospital too early and when I started to contract in the late evening I just stayed up after my husband had gone to bed. I laboured for a few hours - walking around in semi-dark, listening to the radio, until things were getting uncomfortable, called the hospital and my in-laws (who were coming to sit with our toddler) and woke my husband.

And then we waited, and waited...in-laws' car wouldn't start. By the time they arrived, I wasn't able to speak much between contractions, and off we went.

An hour or so later, despite horrid midwife instructing student midwife (I'll never forget how patronising she was, both to the student and to me but I was confident enough to ignore her, mostly), I gave birth without any problems. That was a good birth - probably the easiest of 4.

When I was labouring, I always retreated into myself - I really couldn't have cared less who was there, as long as they kept quiet and left me alone.

ElasticPants · 21/02/2016 12:52

I was alone for dd1s birth. It wasn't planned, but dh was sent home to sleep and left his phone downstairs so couldn't hear it when they tried to ring. I didn't even
notice he wasn't there, the midwife stayed with me all the time and it was clam and relaxed. He arrived as they were weighing her and helped get her dressed.

At dd2s birth he completely freaked out, kept asking if things were normal and became obsessed with the monitor. It was not helpful to point out really strong contractions, I could feel them. The further things got, the more stressed and frazzled he looked. It was not relaxing seeing him so panicked. I started thinking things were going wrong and they weren't telling me.

For ds I booked us on to an active birth course. a really lovely midwife taught him how to not be an arse. That time he was really helpful.

MyFriendsCallMeOh · 21/02/2016 12:54

Was induced with dd1, dh stayed with me for 6 hours or so, then I sent him home at 10pm, I laboured alone til about 5am when he came back and dd1 was born 10.30am. He needed sleep and I was happy to concentrate on hypnobirthing techniques. There was nothing he could have done, he'd just have been asleep in the chair next to me anyway.....

dd2 was born by c section otherwise I'd have sent him home for a few hours during that labour too.

Oldraver · 21/02/2016 12:54

DH never made it in time to see DS1 born, I was already in hospital and was told not to call him just yet when I started having contractions. I dont think thye took it seriously as I seemed to be 'coping'. Of course it all speeded up and DS was born just as I got into the labour ward.

With DS2 I was also in hospital and he wasn't due for another 6 weeks. My labour partner and DS1 arrived at the hospital and as they were planning on transferring me I sent labour partner home, so technically it was just me and the midwife with DS1 doing a wordsearch in the corner

Obs2016 · 21/02/2016 12:55

I did, both times, with both ds's and it was fine. I was in an hospital a long way from home because of a medical condition. My labour eas very quick and I went from nothing to pushing within half and hour. But then both times I had to have a cs. By the time I was ready for theatre, dh had driven up and arrived, so he spent the first few hours with each ds.
Was all fine.

grannytomine · 21/02/2016 12:55

Yes I did with first, they said nothing happening for hours and sent him home, he had to drop keys at work the following morning at 8 am and baby came at 8.25 and he missed it all. Second one born at home, I got fed up with the crowd and told him to go to bed and midwives went downstairs for tea and biscuits with my mother, warned them if they let mother in the room I was leaving. They came back up in time to delivery the baby. Baby number 3 husband was there and I ended up with an emergency CS, coincidence? Baby number 4 I arrived at hospital to be induced and on examination I was 5cm dilated. Sent husband to collect baby number 3 from playgroup and deliver her to granny and not to rush back. He got back just as I started to push. I love to labour alone but some midwives seem very keen to have the father there and with baby number 4 they kept asking me if they should call him to make sure he got back in time, then when he did get back he had a student midwife either side of him giving him a hug and one said, "It's the dads I feel sorry for." If I hadn't been otherwise engaged I might have crowned her and him.

Birdsgottafly · 21/02/2016 17:25

When I had my first, at 18, men going into the delivery room was still a bit of a novelty (1985), so I laboured alone.
It was still the norm to have your Mum (other females) with you, but I wasn't close to her. The MWs were horrible and one even asked me, in full labour why I wasn't married and why did I think it was ok 'to put the cart before the horse'. They took over my labour, gave me Pethidine without my permission and wouldn't unattach the internal probes, so I could move. So I missed my DP, inregards to shutting them up and me having choice.

He was with me for my second, he annoyed me non stop, I didn't want him with me whilst I pushed the baby out. I was exhausted and glad he was there to take her from me, though.

I was alone with my last, I waited as long as I could and was left alone until the last 15 minutes and straight afterwards, because of staffing problems, it was my best birth.

I'm lucky that I don't have tears/stitches and feeding issues.

I was my DDs Birthing Partner, in retrospect, I couldn't imagine exhibitioning the lack of interest that my Mum did.

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