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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to push DD's birthday back a day this year?

34 replies

Discopanda · 21/02/2016 10:37

DD1 is turning 4 on Wednesday, the same day we're moving house! We also have a 10 month old baby and DP can't get the day off work and hasn't ordered her main present yet (I would do it but not sure what card he wants to use and he said he'd do it!!!). She also wants me to make her a Hello Kitty cake! WIBU to tell her it's her birthday the following day just this year and make her cake, wrap presents, etc when she's at preschool? Wednesday is the only day she hasn't got preschool so I'll have to look after both DDs whilst we're moving things, DM is coming from a long way away to help with the girls but won't be here until at least noon.

OP posts:
KP86 · 21/02/2016 10:38

She doesn't know the date, just do it. How often do people have parties and properly celebrate special occasions not on the actual date? All the time!

Go for it.

shatteredstudentmum · 21/02/2016 10:39

We do birthdays regularly on the "wrong" day because it fits better with stuff, my bits are 9 and 6 and never complain.

plantsitter · 21/02/2016 10:39

Yeah she won't know. Do they celebrate it at nursery?

Original poster
Discopanda · 21/02/2016 10:46

OK, so I'm definitely not an awful mother for not being able to pull a bike and a cake out of my bum whilst moving?! She doesn't have nursery that day but she will the following day.

OP posts:
teeththief · 21/02/2016 10:47

We used to do this when ours were younger and DH worked away. I know some MN'ers think it's odd though so you'll get varied responses. I can't see the problem myself

LindyHemming · 21/02/2016 10:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yomellamoHelly · 21/02/2016 10:48

Have done it before when the dc were small (generally so we celebrated at a w/e) and it seems like you have lots of good reasons to do it too. Doubt she'll realise.

Louise43210 · 21/02/2016 10:49

Yes I did this when the kids were younger.

starry0ne · 21/02/2016 10:50

I would do it if I was you...She will have a much better day... AS they go to school often main party is often not on birthday.

LikeASoulWithoutAMind · 21/02/2016 10:52

Oh definitely move it! Don't even think twice about it. I might mention it to nursery though. Good luck with the move.

insancerre · 21/02/2016 10:52

The nursery will surely celebrate her birthday with her won't they?
We do at our nursery and make a big fuss and put a sign on the door

NoMilkNoSugar · 21/02/2016 10:57

I think rather than involving everyone else in a lie, have her party and big presents the next day but have her birthday with shop bought cake and McDonald's/pizza (easier on moving day) on the day itself. We've done that before and told DC they are lucky that they get to have two birthdays. They haven't minded at all!

DeeLite · 21/02/2016 11:12

YABU to be giving this a second thought! Of course you should shift the celebrations to a day when you have time to enjoy the celebrations. Good luck with the move.

RattieOfCatan · 21/02/2016 11:13

I would, but you'd need to tell nursery what you're doing to avoid them telling her "Oh! It was your birthday yesterday!"

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs · 21/02/2016 11:16

I've done this. I moved DD2 birthday celebration back by a day when I had a wedding to go to. She was 2 and had no idea. Just make sure you tell nursery what you're planning! Otherwise, go for it.

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 21/02/2016 11:19

She doesn't know the date & it's only 1 day not 6 months or something. Far better to do it on a less chaotic day when you can all enjoy it!

Cressandra · 21/02/2016 11:19

If you're sure she won't twig, shift it. She'll have a nicer birthday for it. And congrats on your new house.

I'm sure you can buy a Hello Kitty cake. Asda?

SoupDragon · 21/02/2016 11:20

TBH, I wouldn't. I'd have some shop bought cupcakes and some token presents on the day with the promise of a full celebration at the weekend. I wouldn't bother with lying about the day.

Threefaries · 21/02/2016 11:22

Wow, you sound super busy. Please don't feel bad about changing the date. It will be less stressful and you will all enjoy it more for maki g the change. Good luck for a smooth house move.

AlpacaMyThings · 21/02/2016 11:29

It is the the law that you have to have a party on the actual day. Don't worry about it.

unlucky83 · 21/02/2016 11:38

I think 4 is a bit old to get away with a lie and you will have to drag everyone else like nursery in too (do they not say the date?) I would do two birthdays as suggested above.
DD2 (9) will be having her birthday party 3 weekends after her birthday -which I admit is pushing it a bit. But her class/friends all have a lot on at the moment at the weekends (shows etc), I had originally planned it two weeks after her birthday to avoid clashing but then that clashed with something else so it has gone back a weekend further...
She is fine with that - on the day she got cards from the family and I made a quick basic cake. Her party is her main present and at her party she'll get a better cake to share with her friends etc...she really doesn't mind. When they get to school you have to have some flexibility, not a bad thing they get used to it.
(And not as bad as her 5th birthday. A close relative who lived hundreds of miles away was seriously ill, we debated whether to do a party at all, came back just for the party and relative died the day before Sad - party went ahead (relative would have wanted that) but because she had been off school a few days before lots of people thought she was ill and it had been cancelled, so a lot didn't turn up and I had to disappear for a cry every so often Sad)

Iggi999 · 21/02/2016 11:39

Your dp is not being vastly helpful here is he - not bothering to order a birthday present and arranging a move on a day he "can't" be off??

usual · 21/02/2016 11:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnnieOnnieMouse · 21/02/2016 11:44

Do it!
I was born on 13th - my mum hated the number 13, so always celebrated my birthday on 14th. I didn't find out my real date of birth until I applied for a passport when I was 18.
I'm sure your dd will be a lot happier having her birthday when you can concentrate on it a bit, rather than in the hectic muddle of moving day.

QuinionsRainbow · 21/02/2016 11:48

I remember having my 4th birthday on the same day as my sister's 2nd - our real birthdays are about a month apart. Mum said it was to stop any jealousy!