To be completely terrified by weaning

[AJ279]

DD just coming up to 6 months, been on purée for a few weeks and starting to move on with texture. She had a bit of lumpy carrot purée this weekend and gagged and coughed. I know this is normal...apparently. But I'm so scared, I daren't try her with anything else. I tried her with a banana rice cracker to suck on and she gummed a bit off and i grabbed it out of her mouth before she could choke (I know she probably wouldn't have). I'm so so scared of giving her anything and can't imagine going down the baby led weaning route. Does anyone have any advice or AIBU to think this is such a trauma? I'm considering asking my health visitor to come and have a chat about it.

I would definitely ask your HV to reassure you. I did a CPR course, it made me feel better to know I knew what to do if DS choked (he never did).

I wonder if it would be worth you doing a baby first aid course - so that you're confident that you could deal with choking in the unlikely event that it happened.

I also think a chat to your health visitor would be useful.

You have to learn the difference between choking and gagging, Google it there are lots of references. If you feel a bit involved you might feel calmer. My DS gagged loads but never choked till he was a year old (long piece of pasta)

Yes to a chat with your HV and yes to a baby first aid course.

Do speak to your hv, she should be able to get you on a first aid course and a weaning course also through your local sure start centre. Gagging is quite normal apparently and not an indicator of choking. I found this out in an NCT weaning course! I feel much more relaxed going into it!

Thank you all, me and DP are booked on a first aid course next weekend through Millie's trust so will definitely find that helpful. And I will ring HV this week, I'm general quite an anxious person anyway but this has completely knocked me sideways and definitely think it's the best way to go. Thank you for all your other suggestions too- will definitely look into them all

Sorry, I said involved before I meant informed. I think the more informed you are the more comfortable you can feel around safety.

The Baby Led Weaning Cookbook has all the same advice as thr normal book on choking and gagging and what food is safe and what to start them out on. You might find comfort in it.

The course and a chat with your HV is a great idea too

Thanks Glo will look into the cook book, but you're right- I think the more information I have the better I will feel!

Gagging is totally normal- they'll do it a lot! Just give them a second or two and it'll stop. Keep going op, it's all very normal and very necessary.

If they are making a noise then it's OK.
I had terrible anxiety about choking (still do) and this was my mantra. They might need a slap on the back to dislodge bits but they are not choking.
When DS was 4 he got something stuck and was silent. I was chatting but looked over at him to see him struggling, leapt up and walloped all hell out of him on his back and all was fine. It probably took 20 seconds.
Coughing and gagging is like falling over when learning to walk.
Going silent is like knocking yourself out.

I felt the same as you op. So I fed my dd purées for a couple of months and only very gradually introduced more solid things like chopped up banana and soft steamed broccoli. I went at a pace I felt comfortable with rather than doing baby led weaning immediately as everyone else was doing. I varied the purées and made them myself. End result was that she learnt to eat just fine and at 4 enjoys a wide variety of food. Do what you feel comfortable with.

Oh my gosh, when I was pregnant with #1 son I did an infant/children's first aid course, which was amazing, and I would recommend it to anyone. However, I was so nervous about that poor kid choking I probably did the infant heimlich maneuver on him half a dozen times. I could have him out of his high chair, face down on my arm, whacking him on the back in about 3 seconds flat. #2 son and the girl one fared better, because I wasn't so nervous, and I knew a little gagging was normal.

You'll get there, OP, it's just scary at first.

I feel the same, generally quite an anxious person and I have found weaning to be such a nerve wracking process. I did for a baby first aid course which helped, but certainly didn't solve things. We did a combination of purées and finger foods then gradually got lumper with the purées. I'm lucky in that DP is a lot more relaxed about the whole thing, so when introducing new finger foods we'd to it with him around initially which reassured me. As it went on I was amazed just how well DS could handle his food, chewing etc. He's ten months now and I still get nervous, but much less so than I originally did.

I felt like you when I started weaning my DS - I tried BLW and my nerves were in shreds after a few days.

So, I stuck to purees and gradually introduced increasingly lumpy foods when we were both ready. Then finger foods such as toast.

My DS is now 26 months, eats everything I give him, uses cutlery really well and has excellent speech, so not doing BLW hasn't had any negative effects at all.

I would say, stick to doing what you feel happy with

I was the same OP.

'I went at a pace I felt comfortable with rather than doing baby led weaning immediately as everyone else was doing.'

This ^ was me.

Other kids were having cheese on toast but DS just wasn't swallowing/interested!

For what it's worth DS didn't really like the whole solids/weaning thing and would have quite happily stayed on milk and apple sauce/pouches for a while. In hindsight I wouldn't have freaked out so much about him moving on to solids so young.

I was utterly scared to death he would choke, he gagged on a piece of watermelon once which scared the daylights out of me.