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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go for a new job while TTC?

25 replies

sarahsinlondon · 14/02/2016 17:48

An amazing job has come up in my field. It would be tough and long hours. Its perfect for my background and training.

I'm in a job right now thats OK but I daydream of leaving and its not very stable.

But I'm actively TTC. It could take years or weeks.

Would you go for the big job? Would I struggle to do a high pressure job while pregnant? I understand I might not be eligible for additional benefits if I arrive already pregnant but maybe its worth the risk? Scared they'll judge me a bit as a time waster if I get pregnant early on in the role.

I'd love to hear stories from people who've job switched while pregnant or TTC.

AIBU to go for the job AND continue to TTC?

OP posts:

3rdrockfromthesun · 14/02/2016 17:50

Go for it. What have you got to lose? Would you get a good maternity package with your current job or Wight the new employer?

3rdrockfromthesun · 14/02/2016 17:51

With not Wright

Katenka · 14/02/2016 17:55

It's risky.

Employers can get rid of you fairly easily in the first two years. Whilst they can't get rid of you for being pregnant, it would be up to you to prove that's why you got pg.

My sil did this and ended up with her having no job at 3 months pg. they didn't have much saved. It really caused her a lot of upset she could do without.

That said my last employee was really good and a few women got pg quite soon after starting, while they didn't get the full may benefits, the employer never treated them any different.

Katenka · 14/02/2016 17:56

Sorry 'up to to prove its was because you got of'

Katenka · 14/02/2016 17:56

Sorry....I hate my phone

FuzzyOwl · 14/02/2016 17:58

I would go for it. Ttc can take a long time and you can't live your life postponing everything on the off chance.

Original poster

sarahsinlondon · 14/02/2016 17:59

Thanks all. I think the package with the new employer could be better than the current one (if I'm eligible). Potential new company is bigger and more professional than my current one.

I agree its a vulnerable time to take a risk. Scared of not doing it and finding it still takes years to get pg! Also scared of the idea of stating a new job with possible morning sickness. Of course no idea if I'll get pg or the new job but just my luck I'll get both at the same time

OP posts:

5BlueHydrangea · 14/02/2016 18:01

Do it..
I've been ttc for 5 years...

Original poster

sarahsinlondon · 14/02/2016 18:03

Thanks Hydrangea that's a good point. Good luck and I hope it happens for you.

OP posts:

Katenka · 14/02/2016 18:04

What about taking the job and holding off ttc for a few months so it doesn't coincide with 'just starting a new job'.

Not sure how you feel about this, but may take off some of the pressure.

AutumnLeavesArePretty · 14/02/2016 18:10

Go for the new job and hold of TTC for a little while.

Announcing your pregnant when starting or shortly after will give them a bad impression and it's unlikely the relationship will recover. It may also put them off hiring another young women in future.

If it's your dream job and you can still commit to it fully after children then waiting for twelve months to TTC is nothing in the long scheme of things.

Normanpriceisnotarolemodel · 14/02/2016 18:18

I put TTC on hold to move to a new job. I re-started TTC about 6 months after starting it. It took 6 months to conceive so had been there over a year when I announced it. Still there 7 years later.

thebiscuitindustry · 14/02/2016 18:48

Go for both the job and TTC.

shatteredmama · 14/02/2016 19:36

I was in a similar position, I started a secondment while ttc, it was the best thing I ever did. The secondment wasn't the opportunity I'd been led to believe it would be and I hated it, but I was fortunate to get pregnant within weeks. All I'm saying is you just never know how things will turn out.

pillowaddict · 14/02/2016 19:43

I took a new job and literally found out I was pg with dc2 before I started. TI be honest it wasn't easy at all. I felt like people were judging me a bit and my boss was clearly anxious, I was sick/tired/struggling but needed to work my arse off to prove myself, and it meant my induction was marred by me having to plan for my mat leave at the same time. I'd definitely not have chosen it. Also had no mat leave benefits other than statutory due to length of time in post. However, I managed it, it wasn't a disaster and now I'm back at work it doesn't feel I missed loads as I kept in touch a lot. I'd do as a pp said and stop trying for even a few months so that you'll be in post for at least 6 before you'd have to announce it. It will make you feel far less guilty I promise! Good luck with interview and ttc!

Original poster

sarahsinlondon · 14/02/2016 20:05

Thank you for all the comments. I understand the suggestion to delay TTC, a bit nervous of this as I'm 35 (and if the Mail is to be believed imminently over the hill). I'll definitely apply and see what happens - afterall I might not get the job!

OP posts:

Sorebigtoes · 14/02/2016 20:19

I got pregnant by IVF just after I applied for a new job, after TTCing for 5.5 years. I had a threatened miscarriage just before the interview, and was told there was 50% chance of a full blown miscarriage. The HR dept was really slow to process my start and I only worked there 3 months before mat leave (which started early due to my water breaking at 35 weeks). My induction was tricky, and I didn't go back to the job after mat leave. So the job didn't really work out, but I don't regret each decision I made along the way, if you see what I mean. I knew from past experience that you cant put life on hold while TTCing and there was a very good chance of not being pregnant by the time I started. Had their HR dept done their jobs properly I could have had 6 months in post and a better induction, and been more likely to return to the job. But sometimes you just have to go for stuff and take the risk! Go for both, I say.

Flamingoblue1 · 14/02/2016 21:03

I started ttc in October and started a new job in December. Now two months in and not pregnant so I say take the job!

AF77 · 14/02/2016 21:05

I applied for a new job not knowing I was pregnant, but I did know by the time I was interviewed. I was offered the role & told them I was pregnant at the same time as accepting the job. It hasn't caused any probs (as far as I know) & I've even been offered a higher role. I won't be entitled to SMP but I felt the pros of moving jobs outweighed this.

I'd say do it. I felt I couldn't put my life on hold 'in case' I fell pregnant. You can also pull out at any point before signing the contract. Good luck with your decision.

twobambinos · 14/02/2016 22:20

Found out I was pregnant week I started new job after ttc for 9months. Hid the pregnancy well until I was 20 weeks despite vomiting several times every day. I was exhausted, couldn't ring in sick. Trying to learn new stuff and going home to a two year old in the evenings. We can't predict the way things will turn out it could have taken alot longer to get pregnant too just no way of knowing. I'd apply and you can decide what to do when you are offered it

OwlinaTree · 14/02/2016 22:27

Are you going to go back to the job after mat leave?

Personally, I'd want to be in a job for a year before going on mat leave, as that gives time to really know the job and be known as a good worker etc. That would only mean putting off TTC for about 4 months from starting the job, which isn't much really.

Original poster

sarahsinlondon · 08/04/2016 18:36

Hi everyone wanted to update you. I got the job! Ttc-ing the past few months was unsuccessful anyway and now we're going to take a break to settle in. A bit nervous about waiting as I'm 35.

Thanks for everyone's replies it really helped me think through my decision. Still very interested in stories about TTC-ing while new in a big job too!

OP posts:

RememberToSmile1980 · 08/04/2016 18:38

Congratulations! Well done you - and good luck with TTC - I'm sure it will be fine.

AyeAmarok · 08/04/2016 20:42

Well done on the new job!

thecrab · 08/04/2016 20:49

go for it! I got pregnant a month after starting my current job (which had a 6 month probationary period!) Everyone was amazing, yeah I only had 8 weeks mat leave at 90% my salary but it worked out. I love my career.

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