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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Money from friend

31 replies

Squiff85 · 13/02/2016 15:28

I took my friends son out for the day with my daughter.

We planned to eat out and she told me she didn't have any cash on her but to let her know what her sons stuff comes to and she will reimburse me for everything.

The evening we got back I text her the amount and said no rush etc, it was only £15.

This was a month ago now and still no money. I don't know what to do tbh. Would I be unreasonable to mention it? I know its not much but its my money :(

OP posts:
Sunnybitch · 13/02/2016 15:31

Yabu! It was your choice to take her son out and your choice to spend £15 on him...if you couldn't of afforded it you should of just taken him home

Allyoucaneat · 13/02/2016 15:32

Generally if I'm taking a friends child out it's my treat and I wouldn't accept money even if it was offered.

Maybe she can't afford the £15 and she's too embarrassed to say so. Maybe it's more than she had anticipated spending. £15 for a child's meal seems quite steep.

Saying that of someone took my child out I'd always offer to pay for him.

Original poster
Squiff85 · 13/02/2016 15:33

Sorry Sunny, she knew when she agreed we were having lunch out and she said let him have an ice-cream etc, Ill pay later! She was wiling to pay.

OP posts:
Original poster
Squiff85 · 13/02/2016 15:34

It was £15 for meal, ice cream, a drink and towards something from gift shop....and she said let him have what he wants, I will pay later

OP posts:
AnotherTimeMaybe · 13/02/2016 15:35

YANBU but I don't think you ll see your money
It's her loss as I doubt you ll take him out again

IpreferToblerone · 13/02/2016 15:35

Definitely mention it to her, she sounded happy to reimburse, we all have busy lives; maybe she has just forgotten. YANBU.

LilacAndLovely · 13/02/2016 15:35

You've asked once? She's probably just forgotten, just send a friendly text to remind her.

Arfarfanarf · 13/02/2016 15:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Squiff85 · 13/02/2016 15:37

Thank you! Nice when reasonable people reply!! :)

OP posts:
Sunnybitch · 13/02/2016 15:40

Well if it was arranged before hand then she should of really given you the money however 15 quid is a bit steep for a child's meal and an ice cream. Maybe she thought it was gona be more like five/six quid and so doesn't agree with the amount you've given her Hmm

Think you'll have to chalk this upto a loss and a lesson learnt that next time you get the money off her upfront.

Sunnybitch · 13/02/2016 15:41

Just seen your last post...if she knew the amount then she can't of been shocked at it and seeing as she agreed to pay then you should mention it to her again

Katedotness1963 · 13/02/2016 15:41

Don't say "no rush". It sounds as if you are not really needing the money so she didn't rush.

DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 13/02/2016 15:44

If there was a clear agreement that she'd pay, which it sounds like there was, then I'd just text her.

When asking for money that you're owed I have three rules - never apologise, give them a deadline, give them a couple of options of how to pay.

"hiya, Im going to need that £15 (from taking DS out) by this Friday, do you want my bank details to transfer the money over or shall I call in when I'm passing and you can give it to me in cash, let me know which you'd prefer".

AdrenalineFudge · 13/02/2016 15:45

I'm not flush at all but I don't think I could get worked up over £15. I'd mention it again as you seem quite put out by it but I think this will impact your friendship. I've taken out my friends before and they've paid and sometimes I've paid - no one has kept a tally but it all evens out eventually. Having said that, she did ask you to total it up so she could pay you back - but I don't expect many people would have taken that so literally.

Grilledaubergines · 13/02/2016 15:47

Thank you! Nice when reasonable people reply!!

You posted in AIBU. But anyone who doesn't agree with you is being unreasonable? Makes sense.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 13/02/2016 15:48

I'd be minded to write it off but not agree to take her child out with you again without being paid his share in advance. "Give him what he wants" wouldn't add up to fifteen quid to my mind but that all depends on what you're both used to something like this costing

Grilledaubergines · 13/02/2016 15:48

FWIW just ask her for it.

AnotherTimeMaybe · 13/02/2016 15:53

grilled she obviously wants to have a rant, she knows she's not BU but she's lost 15 quid and she feels mugged off

Grilledaubergines · 13/02/2016 16:00

Yes I get that she wants a rant. No point in being dismissive of people who have given her a response she doesn't like though.

OP, the longer you leave it to ask her again, the more awkward it will be, for both of you. How about a "gate to ask again as I'm sure you're busy but any chance I could get that money from you, I'm cashless at the moment."

GruntledOne · 13/02/2016 16:00

Re-send the text without any comment, she may simply have forgotten about it.

expatinscotland · 13/02/2016 16:02

I'd ask again.

SecretNameTime · 13/02/2016 16:04

She may have just forgotten.

I'd send her another text to remind her. Preferably shortly before you meet up. If you don't meet up perhaps you could ask her if she would rather pay by bacs . Don't be embarrassed to ask and don't apologise.

Cleebope · 13/02/2016 16:12

Yabu cut your losses here I'm afraid. Don't be too quick to do the same again with anyone unless you are prepared to not get money back. But if she spends same sort of money on your dd at some stage in the future then you are quits. Some people are forgetful with money, others calculate every penny. You win some, you lose some. But I would never ask for this after time has passed. This better to give than to receive and all that.

JessieMcJessie · 13/02/2016 16:27

She's probably just forgotten. Absolutely no harm in a quick text to say "hi, just a quick reminder about that 15 quid for the trip to xplace! Would you mind bringing it along to [next time you're meeting]?"

scarlets · 13/02/2016 17:28

"Just realised I never gave you my bank account info so you can transfer that £15. Oops! Anyway, it's 01234567 22-22-22 Sorry for the delay".

Saves her feeling bad for not handing it over.

You're right to chase it up. It was kind of you to take her child out in the first place.