To spend my day off exactly as I please

[Lauresbadhairday]

I work 4 days per week in a stressful and emotionally challenging job. On my day off I generally please myself but am wondering whether I should be doing more household things.

I usually walk the dog, read, watch catch up TV, mumsnet and sometimes meet a friend for coffee or lunch. I try and cook a nice meal for the evening rather than the usual 'bung it in the oven' affair but other than that I do very little around the house.

FWIW I do all the household cooking, shopping, admin and most of the housework usually at the weekend. The DC are teens now so no childcare as such required.

So AIBU to please myself on my day off or should I be doing more in the way of housework etc. I guess I feel guilty when I know my DH is at work and also in a stressful job but he doesn't have the luxury of a day off. He has never asked or complained about how I spend my time.

If you still what you want done another time then where is the harm?
You do what ever you want on your day off.
Don't feel guilty.

YANBU that's exactly what I do. And why not, we work hard. The kids are at school so I get a lie in as DH gets them ready & drops them off. Sometimes I dint get up until 1, sometimes I get up & go for a walk. I need the balance so I never feel guilty about it. Why should we.

This is such a female problem. I have had a really bad cold recently and had to work. I am self employed and had a few days off and still did extra jobs because i had lunch and coffee with some friends. Enjoy yourself on your one day off.

The only thing I would say about this is, do you have to sacrifice quality family time at the weekend to do housework? If so you may choose to shuffle when you do the housework that you are doing, however it has to be your choice.

You make a lovely meal and you still do most of the housework at the weekend- I'm sure the Friday is just nice and peaceful.

If you're happy with it, I see no issue with it!

There is no harm in having a day to yourself if your job allows.Plus you have teenagers,its not like you are leaving the baby in a dirty nappy.

I done a job where i had a day off during the week or was in late and i done the exact same.You need time to unwind.

As the DCs are teens now they generally do their own thing at weekends so we don't have much in the way of family time. Also I'm not particularly diligent in the housework department anyway so it only takes me an hour or so to whip round with the hoover and do the bathrooms.

I am happy with things the way they are so perhaps I am just looking for reassurance that I'm not being a selfish lazy cow! Or that I am in which case I will buck my ideas up and be more productive on my day off.

I think you should do as you please! I have two days off each week and I get loads of housework/tidying up done on those days, along with all the food shopping and meal planning etc. which frees up our weekends BUT:

a) my children are younger (7 and 9yrs) so weekends tend to be filled with family activities (which I intend to fully enjoy until my DDs no longer need me!)
b) I find housework very relaxing - I actually really enjoy doing it while listening to the radio so actually you could say that I am partly doing it to please myself

THE MN mantra of "equal leisure time" could reasonably be applied here I think. I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to have a lazy day off. But if you you work 4 days and DH works 5 equal length days,I guess Iwould expect you to take on more of the household stuff - not necessarily on your day off!

This is what I do and my kids are 4 and 6. As I type, the floor looks pretty mucky and in need of a sweep

Mind you, I have spent all afternoon in reception helping out.

The way I see it, I get some r&r so it's easier for dh to get his down time at the weekends, and I feel better able to cope with full-on weekends.

I do most of the household stuff so I think DH gets his fair share of downtime although I do sometimes ask him to pitch in at the weekends. He has never complained and is willing to help out which probably just adds to my guilt.

But if you you work 4 days and DH works 5 equal length days,I guess Iwould expect you to take on more of the household stuff - not necessarily on your day off!

More but not ALL.

I do all the household cooking, shopping, admin and most of the housework usually at the weekend.

OP your husband should be doing his share; not leaving it all to you.

if you (go out to) work 4 days a week, and he goes out 5, then there is an imbalance, and you should do more so when you have your weekends you spend time together

"Also I'm not particularly diligent in the housework department anyway so it only takes me an hour or so to whip round with the hoover and do the bathrooms. "

so do that on your 'day off' and then share cooking/etc at the weekend

I'm wondering why you are posting though, you dont have a problem, your OH doesnt have a problem....

has someone said something to you?

Sounds great. I'm just in theiddle of starting my own business and I work hard 4 days a week, both in my office and at client sites.
Mondays my DD is at nursery and DH out all day. I know I should be in the office but I end up going to the gym, watching New Tricks, doing a bit of cleaning (rare) or having a nap. I am loath to give this time up because it's my only alone time all week.

Not really sure why I'm posting. No-one has said anything but I'm just feeling increasingly guilty that perhaps I am being lazy/selfish. As I said up thread I'm either looking for reassurance that it's ok to please myself on my day off or a kick up the bum to do more.