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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to have the same conversation over and over?

48 replies

Flamingoblue1 · 10/02/2016 19:48

I'm a crank and I know I am. My mother phones me and I feel like it's Groundhog Day. She's not got dementia and isn't old btw but the conversation is the same all the time. I go to someone's house she wants to know the ins and outs and what the house looks like. I buy a dress she wants to know the make size colour cut. So on and so forth sorry but I don't understand why people want to know so much mundane detail about crap

OP posts:

alianangel · 10/02/2016 20:00

My mum does have dementia, I can't tell you how much I wish we could talk about the ins and ourpts of a house I visited or a dress I bought.

Original poster

Flamingoblue1 · 10/02/2016 20:01

Sorry Ali. I put that in so people didn't query if she did have dementia or any similar condition

OP posts:

grumpysquash2 · 10/02/2016 20:02

My PIL talk about vegetables all the time. Often lists of which ones they like (basically all of them). It is very tedious.
On the plus side, they are easy to feed.

alianangel · 10/02/2016 20:03

Outs not ourpts!

MatildaTheCat · 10/02/2016 20:04

You mention something and she then wants to prolong the conversation and be part of your life by asking endless questions? So why not plan in advance a topic you can bear to discuss or think of new ways to move the conversation on? "I don't think I can give you much more info on the dress, mum, shall I send you a picture of it? Now, what did you think about X in the news this week or y on tv last night? How did you get on when you did a last week?"

Original poster

Flamingoblue1 · 10/02/2016 20:06

I'm a bitch really aren't i?

OP posts:

ewbank · 10/02/2016 20:09

Nah, there's always some black cloud who tells you you're lucky cos theirs is dead etc etc

I get it. Mine does that "you know her, yes you do, she used to work at the corner shop, her kid went to school with our old next door neighbour "..... It's boring as fuck and makes me want to shout I DONT CARE ANOUT ANY OF THESE PEOPLE!!!!

usual · 10/02/2016 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

usual · 10/02/2016 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Flamingoblue1 · 10/02/2016 20:14

They probably will usual but I'm unlikely to have any so that's one problem solved!

OP posts:

VioletVaccine · 10/02/2016 20:14

Flamingoblue you aren't a bitch at all
I get this all the time, but with my DGM. She is getting on in age, but no dementia or associated illnesses.
She talks waffles on about the same things daily. I love her, I really really do.
And I listen all the more because I know that one day I will wish she'd call me, but she won't be here to. But yes I agree, the same conversations over and over are repetitive.

acasualobserver · 10/02/2016 20:17

Perhaps she just wants to hear your voice. Try to be kind.

ewbank · 10/02/2016 20:17

Your kids are supposed to find you boring as fuck at times. It's normal.

Iwonderif · 10/02/2016 20:19

You're not a bitch OP, you admit you're a crank and at times we ALL are. I think she just wants to know "the ins and outs of megs arse" as its her way of showing an interest in you and what you do. You see it as tediously boring crap she sees it as lovely!

rookiemere · 10/02/2016 20:38

I'm as bad as you OP.I'm already dreading this weekend's call as DM has texted me telling me not to open a spam email send by my cousin, which we didn't get anyway.
I know that DF will have opened it and there will be a long and tedious conversation about it which will go on for ever. God I'm horrible.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 10/02/2016 20:41

flamingo is being kind to her mother directly - she's having these conversations every day, she's just having a vent on here about the endless mundanity... (I'm sure that is a word but can't decide how to spell it)...

I sometimes feel like that about everyone I have to make small talk (rather than talk about something) with...

There are people you care about, or like, or are bound to by ties of neighborhood or family, but really have nothing much in common with... usually it is fine to have another conversation of mind numbing dreariness because actually you know the act of having the conversation is what is important, not what is said, but some days you want to cover your ears and shout loudly or go and hide instead... not that you do, you have another conversation about where the hairdresser went on her holidays or somebody you've nver met who went to school with your sister getting a puppy...

arethereanyleftatall · 10/02/2016 20:43

My mum spent an hour earlier talking at me about the size if dishwashers. Dire. But, equally, if A 20 year old listened to a conversation I was having with my peers, theyd find it boring.

Puffling1985 · 10/02/2016 20:50

My grandma used to do this, would drive my mum batty. My aunt had the best reply, turned round and told my mum 'These are all people you didn't know 50 years ago either!'

Katsite · 10/02/2016 20:50

I agree with matilda: offense is the best defense. Stear the conversation in the direction you want it to go.

yorkshapudding · 10/02/2016 20:54

I don't think you're a bitch. You can love someone dearly and still find them frustrating or a bit tiresome at times.

Glitterkitten24 · 10/02/2016 20:55

My In laws constantly ask 'do you watch...insert random soap opera/ reality to programme name?'

Even when I say 'nope, never seen it!', they launch into the ins and outs of the latest plot lines, about characters i don't know and am not interested in.

I grit my teeth and nod and smile. They're not mean, they're just not interested in the same stuff as me.

SparklesandBangs · 10/02/2016 21:06

My MIL used to have the DC from school for tea once a week and bring them home at bedtime, I dreaded that night as whilst they went off to bed she would settle in for a nice cosy chat, every week it was the same topics (housework, money and health), most stories repeated on a weekly loop, often about people I have never met or better still people I did know but then she felt the need to explain who they were to me, like I cared, honestly sometimes I was asleep with my eyes open listening! Never have I been so glad when the DC decided they had too much school work for their weekly trip.
My mum on the other hand I can talk to for hours about nothing, but if she is being repetitive or annoying I'm just blunt and tell her. She called me last night just after I had sat down for the evening, she wanted a long chat and I just didn't have the energy so we covered the main points and agreed to catch up over the weekend.

One DC has left home for uni now so I can bore her senseless, although she has a tendency to ignore my calls or to claim she has too much work to do to talk for long!

GooseberryJam · 10/02/2016 21:09

I have exactly this OP and I too like to vent about it after I come off the phone. But I grit my teeth and go with it. My parents were lovely to me and gave me a great childhood so I'm seeing this as payback. It doesn't mean it isn't irritating in the moment though!

Natkingcole9 · 10/02/2016 21:15

Awk this is a bit mean, makes me think of my mum and I would never feel bored whilst in her company. She gave birth to you have a heart.

tinofbiscuits · 10/02/2016 21:26

I think people have always been interested in the more mundane details of life. These days people tend to post it on Facebook, but it's the same thing.

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