Parties and thank yous

[JumpRope]

DS was invited to a big birthday party for 4 boys from school turning 7. They'd hired a venue, and had a cool activity for the boys to do. One mum emailed and said rather than parents buying gifts, they would like cash gifts.

This went against the grain a bit for me, but I put £10 in 4 cards, one for each boy. This was at the end of November, and we've not had one thank you message from any boy (or mum).

I've not thanked them for the party either - I guess it was expensive - asking for cash then not saying thanks is a bad lesson for the boys, no? One parent was telling me their son got over £150 to spend and didn't know what to buy - but still didn't say anything about our contribution.

£40 gift for one birthday party

Maybe the boys thanked in person at school? Even so, a personal thanks goes a long way, especially as one of the parents spoke to you about it.

And I think it's rude to ask for cash.

I also think its rude to ask for cash, on the other hand I would expect a special thank you. Didn't you get one when you handed over the envelope? If they got a ton of gifts do you think each one needs to receive a thank you card.

You were generous to give £10 each I would probably have given £5. I don't mind giving cash personally.

I'm on the fence with thank you cards it's 50/50 as to whether you get one around here. I don't really notice if I don't get one

*i wouldn't expect a special thank you.

I've not thanked them for the party either

As retaliation? Or because you don't think you should anyway?

I wouldn't call it a special thank you. Just any thank you. DS ran into the party on his own and no doubt just shoved the cards down on the present table so they'd have no idea.

I am just shocked that not one of them have done it, I think - 50/50 is about the ratio normally. I make mine write thank you to anyone who gives them a present, whoever and whenever.

Retaliation? No, I just never normally do unless I see that person regularly to chat.

Well, you did have a chat with at least one of the mothers - did you thank her for the party?

No-one really does thank you cards for birthday presents round here. Or very few anyway. I always send them out because I feel bad otherwise, but it isn't the norm. It surprised me initially but used to it now.

I do thank for parties generally, but normally just with a text or saying thank you when I see the parent.

It was a father, and yes I did mention it.

Obviously we thanked them for the lovely invitation when it came in the first place.

Hmm, clearly not that unusual, but I will continue I think. Good handwriting practice if nothing else.

I don't think it is any more rude than not thanking for the party. There are normally several opportunities to thank for the party such as when accepting the invite and when picking child up from the party and I would normally send my child to say thank you as well.

Of course - I am only talking here about written thank you cards from the child.

Although I'd write to thank friends for a dinner party etc, I don't think I'd make my child send a written note to thank for a party.....??

Asking for cash is Def rude. In terms of thank yous - we haven't received thank yous from any of dd's reception full class parties & I'm ok with it. Dd enjoyed party, parents are busy & at 5 it will be the parents doing thank you cards. I think it's enough to speak to them at the end of the party & do the thanks for the invite/thanks for coming thing.
I will probably do thank you cards after dd's party though so getting splinters with this one

I always send a thank you card for dd's presents and I always acknowledge invites too rather then ignoring ones we can't go to. I think it's just common courtesy surely?!

Cards are really a dying tradition. I don't know anyone who does it now. The fact that not one of the four kids parent sent you one should tell you that.

Kids have been to 4 or 5 parties since and received cards/notes.

Even a round Robin email......

I don't send thank you cards, but I do make a point of properly thanking (and getting DS to properly thank them) the parents/child for the gift, at the time, in person. I think after that it's a bit unnecessary isn't it?

The fact that no thanks were offered at the time would annoy me slightly. Basic manners.

I don't do thank you notes at all, I don't know anyone who does. I would find it a bot odd to receive one from a kids birthday party tbh!

Surely you just say "thanks for coming, here's your party bag" at the door and that's it!

I think YANBU at all.

Thank you cards/notes are the norm around here and I think it is particularly impolite after a shared party when people have been asked to give cash to four different children!

I'd have not given cash in the first place, may as well just paid an entry fee. Very cheeky to have a party where four presents are expected for just one event.

We did thank you texts, cars are old fashioned and not Eco friendly.