Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Outed what to do

36 replies

Jillonthehill · 06/02/2016 20:51

I rather foolishly started a thread (with a different user name) after a few drinks. I stupidly put that many personally details in the thread it was obvious it was me. My sis in law and a colleague at work have both contacted me to say saw what I have written and realised it was me. As it concern SiL, she is upset. Feel such a dick to be in this situation. Is all I can do - brazen it out?

OP posts:
breezydoesit · 06/02/2016 20:53

Oh god, that's not good. Own up and apologise - if you feel you are in the wrong. Honesty is always the best policy

lunar1 · 06/02/2016 20:53

What choice do you have. I'd make sure your history is removed in case they haven't read your old posts yet!

WutheringFrights · 06/02/2016 20:54

Apologize if an apology is necessary and yes, brazen it out.
Then step away from any form of social media when pissed!

gamerchick · 06/02/2016 20:54

Brazen it out.

Never a good thing to start threads when you've had a few (been there done that) but its done now.

BuzzardBird · 06/02/2016 20:54

Just say it wasn't you. There are millions of people on here, a lot have the same story.

AlwaysHopeful1 · 06/02/2016 20:55

Are you certain you can't deny it?
Do your previous threads under that username give it away?

Kryptonite · 06/02/2016 20:56

Oh noes. Sorry, no help but this is why I never start personal threads as I'm too scared of being 'outed!'
Couldn't you just deny all knowledge and look blank if they ask you? They surely don't KNOW it's you, unless you named you all or something?!

Arfarfanarf · 06/02/2016 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pseudo341 · 06/02/2016 20:59

Apologise profusely. We all make mistakes.

Fairenuff · 06/02/2016 21:03

What did you say when they contacted you?

greenfolder · 06/02/2016 21:04

Lol, well posting this is unlikely to help!

wannabestressfree · 06/02/2016 21:05

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt

BitOutOfPractice · 06/02/2016 21:06

Ouch!

What can you o? Apologise and grovel I guess

fastdaytears · 06/02/2016 21:07

are you now posting under another name? If not then plausible deniability has disappeared so you'll need to face the music.

How bad was it? What is your relationship with your SIL like generally?

JolseBaby · 06/02/2016 21:08

Is it absolutely definitely information that could only be her? Does she know you use MN? If not then I would brazen it out - this is an extremely busy site and it gets thousands of visits every day.

Cautionary tale about not revealing too much info online though, if you don't want to be ID. If you are posting about a scenario then I know some posters change a few details (e.g. changing the sex of the child involved, or the location) so that they can't be easily ID.

Jillonthehill · 06/02/2016 21:11

Definitely not repeating what was said! The thing is Iam not sorry it was true. Defiantly true but I too kind to have told the home truths to certain people. Really worried he work colleague will tell everyone at work about my personal life. I admitted it was me when called. Felt i had no choice.

OP posts:
Steben · 06/02/2016 21:12

I live in dread of this, attack best form of defense imo

What2 · 06/02/2016 21:13

Had you name changed for the thread or does your, now aggrieved, DSIL able to advance search all your other posts and threads. Shock

PennyHasNoSurname · 06/02/2016 21:14

Maybe just brass neck it - "well if you werent such a lying cow / selfish bitch / general cunt then I wouldnt have to start threads about you would I?"

Fairenuff · 06/02/2016 21:15

You can ask HQ to deleted all your posts under that name.

Seriouslyffs · 06/02/2016 21:16

Meh. It goes with the territory.
(Hello Mum!)

AcrossthePond55 · 06/02/2016 21:20

If you've 'owned up' to whatever it was and there is an injured party, then all you can do is either apologize for your part in it or simply hold your head up and carry on if you were not to blame for whatever the situation is/was.

If it's a situation where this work colleague knows something to your detriment but there is no actual proof then you can simply look puzzled if someone else asks you about it with a "Where on earth did XXX get the idea that I forgot to flush the loo after a massive shit?" or whatever it is. And if a work colleague is talking smack behind your back or spreading gossip, I'd talk to HR. Even if it's true, it's still out of line to gossip about a colleague's private life.

Esmeismyhero · 06/02/2016 21:24

Calling you up and basically outing you is bad form tbh.

If I recognise someone on here I wouldn't dream of confronting them.

AlwaysHopeful1 · 06/02/2016 21:27

Esme if that person felt it was untrue stuff said about them do you still think it's 'bad form' to confront?

fastdaytears · 06/02/2016 21:37

Yeah, if it was read on an anonymous forum