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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want some peace and quiet on the ward?

483 replies

vodkaredbull · 06/02/2016 03:38

It's 3:30am and I'm losing my mind.

I was admitted to antenatal yesterday morning for induction. So far fuck all is happening and I'm exhausted. In a stupid amount of pain and all I want to do is sleep.

But of course that's not going to happen is it? I'm in a bay with two other beds. Across from me is the snorer but really I could probably block her out. The problem is the other patient who is surgically attached to her fucking iPhone. It's the middle of the night and she's ringing all of her friends for a chat. Who does that when people are trying to sleep?! I don't give a fuck if she's missing a party to be induced. I want to enjoy the totally useless paracetamol they've deigned to give me and try to get a little rest.

The midwife isn't helping much either. She's rather old fashioned and I'm surprised she hasn't locked us in. I tried to go for a walk to escape iPhone girl and she escorted me back to bed.

AIBU to expect a little peace and quiet in here? Seriously losing it right now.

OP posts:
RedOnHerHedd · 08/02/2016 22:08

Vodka She's absolutely perfect! Congratulations!! ThanksThanksThanks

Spend time bonding and when you're strong enough you'll be able to fight for everything that went wrong so that hopefully you'll be able to get some closure. But for now... Rest and enjoy that beautiful bundle of love right beside you. ThanksThanksThanks

Sallystyle · 08/02/2016 22:14

She is beautiful. Im sorry you were treated so horrible, it is not acceptable and I agree with Red right now rest up and fight when you are back to full fitness Thanks

tiredvommachine · 08/02/2016 22:17

She is beautiful. Well done you! x

Tribblewithoutacause · 08/02/2016 22:22

OP, as soon as you say no they're supposed to stop. Photograph your notes, and then complain to PALs.

ollieplimsoles · 08/02/2016 22:23

What an absolute beauty!!

Get yourself feeling better and get snuggling her, then get a formal complaint in!!

BottleOfGinger · 08/02/2016 22:29

Congratz OP. It sounds like hell but you did it! You made a person. I'm in awe.

Out of interest does anyone know what would happen were OP to call the police? Without consent all you have is someone assulting a woman's genitals with a weapon surely that's something they'd have to take seriously?

charliedontsurf · 08/02/2016 23:12

Gorgeous little mini vodka! Well done. So sorry to hear about everything you've been through. I wish you a speedy recovery Flowers

Expellibramus · 09/02/2016 00:01

She is beautiful but my heart breaks for you going through that. It was wrong. Assault. Sending you love and strength.

WhatTheActualFugg · 09/02/2016 00:03

Oh Vodka this is so upsetting to read. I can't imagine what you must be feeling. You have been disregarded, degraded, violated, and assaulted in the most horrendous way.

You have your beautiful Mini Vodka to concentrate on and to bring you joy. But don't deny yourself the grief you deserve to feel after such a harrowing, traumatic experience.

I personally would be calling the police. Or at least I hope someone would call the police for me if I were in your shoes. Don't bottle it up. Or else it'll come up to bite you later on. And then it will be much more difficult to seek some kind of justice.

Look after yourself. And congratulations.

Flowers
ophiotaurus · 09/02/2016 00:18

I can empathise re traumatic birth and poor treatment from midwives. Be kind to yourself. You will bond with your beautiful daughter.
I would demand to speak to the senior midwife. If you don't feel able, could your dh be your advocate?
So sorry. Many hugs Flowers

WhatTheActualFugg · 09/02/2016 00:18

From the Royal College of Midwives

*The procedure needs to be explained to the woman and carried out with her consent.

The wound should be adequately anaesthetised by either topping up a working epidural or by injecting the wound with 20ml of local anaesthetic (Lidocaine 1%).*

www.rcm.org.uk/news-views-and-analysis/analysis/how-to-suture-correctly

WhatTheActualFugg · 09/02/2016 00:26

Sorry to harp on about this Vodka, but am I right in thinking they were injecting you whilst you were asleep?

Woke up being given a local

Did they really inject you, inbetween your legs, without asking you first? Or even let you know?

Original poster
vodkaredbull · 09/02/2016 00:30

I'm still awake on the postnatal ward because I'm watching my daughter sleep. Terrified I'll do something wrong! We've bonded and cuddled and I adore her.

Before DH left here tonight we had a talk about the birth and aftermath. I don't remember the last few minutes before birth but I do know there were two trainee hcas in the small room observing for most of my labour. During the pushing phase I got really angry and kept saying I needed them to leave. They didn't .

I'm getting my notes and visiting PALS when I leave here tomorrow. Been reading about birth trauma too. DH has said he could never see me go through childbirth again.

Now I'm going to watch my girl some more and dream about the sleep I'll get when DH collects us tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
vodkaredbull · 09/02/2016 00:32

Fugg - not asleep deeply. Been up since Wednesday and thanks to epidural and a lovely anesthesiologist I dropped off for a few minutes at a time during late labour. Obviously unconscious though. I'd not long thrown up too.

OP posts:
lemonpoppyseed · 09/02/2016 00:36

She's lovely. Congratulations! I can't believe what I've read on this thread re your treatment. Sending you love and many baby snuggles. Let the adventures begin!

Expellibramus · 09/02/2016 00:44

Might be worth using your phone to photocopy notes at end of your bed, if they're there.

Expellibramus · 09/02/2016 00:44

*photograph

Want2bSupermum · 09/02/2016 00:45

Vodka Your DD is so lovely. Right now you need to give your DH a list of things to do. To start he needs to take pictures of your notes before they can edit them.

I am so sorry this happened to you. It isn't how things are supposed to happen. If you have any struggles at all to process what has happened I do strongly suggest you get help. I am so thankful to the nurse who ignored my form and had someone come talk to me. I know I had PND after my first and it would have been a problem without having the short conversation. It made a huge difference to have that chat and turned everything around for me.

When you are up for it you can complain to PALS, but that can wait. You have a beautiful daughter to snuggle with.

LegoRuinedMyFinances · 09/02/2016 00:51

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter.

I am terribly sorry to hear about the traumatic time you've had in childbirth. You have been treated appallingly. Strongly worded letter of complaint is a must.

Also take care of yourself - by that I mean it is ok to be upset by what happened and if you find things difficult once you get home it might be worth mentioning it to the health visitor. Having such an awful time during labour can affect people afterwards - but remember this was down to the failings of the staff, and I hope they take your complaint seriously.

Best of luck with the complaint and enjoy the baby snuggles x

OrangeRhinoInTraining · 09/02/2016 01:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FeralBeryl · 09/02/2016 01:05

Oh Vodka Miniature is absolutely perfect 😍 Well DONE! You keep sniffing those perfect ears to get you through the next day or so. I am utterly appalled at the barbarian treatment you have been subjected to. Yy to snapping your notes with a smartphone. You'd be 'surprised' at how many loose leafed notes go for a walk when a complaint rears its head. Hmm
You have been physically and mentally assaulted, belittled, humiliated and ignored during one of the most important times of your life. This simply will not do and must be dealt with accordingly.
But for tonight and tomorrow-look, you did that, you made a teeny person. A huge congratulations to you and DH. The real fun and wonderment starts when you're all snuggled up at home Flowers

SpottyTeacakes · 09/02/2016 06:02

She is absolutely gorgeous! I am appalled at your treatment I felt so sad reading what you posted. I hope you're managing to get a small amount of sleep!

Lj8893 · 09/02/2016 06:32

You had trainee hcas at your birth too?! They have no need to see a birth. With all due respect to hcas (they do a wonderful job) but births are way out of their remit and it is completely unnecessary and inappropriate that they were present, especially since you asked them to leave too!

George2014 · 09/02/2016 06:57

Oh lovely. That's horrific. I'm so so sorry this happened to you. So many things you have said just resonance with the staff not caring about your care and your wishes. You can really throw the book at them on this and I really hope you do.

I would recommend before leaving asking to see your notes (it's your right) before mentioning any complaint and ask for copies / take photos. They may go missing.....also MW won't of documented you didn't give consent but if you get the names of others present that might help.

Then go to PALS and lodge a formal complaint and ask for it to be escalated to the highest level. You could do it in writing and send a copy to the chief executive. Once you've lodged a complaint, your medical notes will get pulled for review.

The inspectors are back in the hospital this week so it would be lovely if you bumped into one!

She's gorgeous btw xxxxx

MistressWeatherwax · 09/02/2016 06:59

Thinking of you OP. Makes me furious that something that should be a special and wonderful time in a woman's life can end up being a battle, full of trauma, rudeness and incompetence.

I hope you kick their ass.

Best of luck to you and your family.

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