to want some peace and quiet on the ward?

[vodkaredbull]

It's 3:30am and I'm losing my mind.

I was admitted to antenatal yesterday morning for induction. So far fuck all is happening and I'm exhausted. In a stupid amount of pain and all I want to do is sleep.

But of course that's not going to happen is it? I'm in a bay with two other beds. Across from me is the snorer but really I could probably block her out. The problem is the other patient who is surgically attached to her fucking iPhone. It's the middle of the night and she's ringing all of her friends for a chat. Who does that when people are trying to sleep?! I don't give a fuck if she's missing a party to be induced. I want to enjoy the totally useless paracetamol they've deigned to give me and try to get a little rest.

The midwife isn't helping much either. She's rather old fashioned and I'm surprised she hasn't locked us in. I tried to go for a walk to escape iPhone girl and she escorted me back to bed.

AIBU to expect a little peace and quiet in here? Seriously losing it right now.

Many, many congratulations but bloody hell, you've had some shite care. As soon as you're ready/able, complain the hell out of the place.

Congratulations on your precious baby girl. So sorry you had such a rough time. It brought up lots of feelings for me reading what you have been through. I hope you can get lots of support now x

Oh my god, that's appalling. And you're right, it's assault. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Make sure you keep a copy of your notes to help with your complaint when you are up to making one.

Your daughter is absolutely beautiful though. So many congratulations - she's just perfect. I hope you're both out of that horrible place and home very soon.

DH was in the next room with mini vodka but I've explained it all. He was very upset.

Senior MW didn't actually respond to me. Told her student that I couldn't feel it. O bloody could. I am really struggling to come to terms with what they did to me to be honest. They'd draped me (still on dirty delivery bed) so I couldn't see while senior explained to student what to do, redid stitches etc. I'm very sore.

The gorgeous bundle in front of me in the ward is the only thing keeping me going.

Vodka i am furious for you. I am a student midwife and am absolutey in shock that a) you were sutured without consent, b) you had a student observe without consent, c) the mw didn't stop when you asked her to because the infiltration hadn't worked.

Please complain, in fact I think you should sue.

Congratulations on your beautiful daughter and I'm so sorry you've had such a traumatic time. The birth trauma association has some brilliant information and a very good and supportive Facebook page if you feel you need to reach out.

If you get chance Take a photo of each page of your notes before you're discharged, that way you won't find that should you complain there are omissions to your notes/pages missing, amendments made.

That is absolutely appalling, I'm so sorry.

Your DD is gorgeous.

Congratulations on your lovely daughter... be very kind to yourself; you've been through a harrowing and frankly shocking time.

oh sweety :( I'm so sorry that happened to you - that's awful and when you feel ready please complain x

Your daughter is absolutely beautiful - rest up and look after yourself x

Yy to photographing your notes! Even if you chose not to do anything except complain to PALS now, you might find you want them in the future.

A friend of mine is planning on suing the local hospital. She has been advised by her solicitor to request her notes etc before launching legal action. Apparently they tend to go missing when you send them a letter regarding action.

Thank you for sharing the beautiful photo of your gorgeous daughter. Don't let those incompetent unprofessional fools detract from a single moment of the joy you have with her.

When you're home and feeling relaxed and up to it, use this thread to write the bloody Mother of All Bloody Complaints to the highest authority you can think of. It needs serious and far reaching investigation.

I am so so sorry for your dreadful experience, but I just want to say, your daughter is absolutely beautiful. Congratulations on your lovely girl and respect for your courage and fortitude through her delivery.

OP this exact same thing happened to me 5 years ago after the birth of my son. I still remember the pain. I told her to stop, I could feel every stitch. She said 'you've just been through a 16 hour labour with no pain relief. Get a grip'

This was a senior doctor rather than a midwife, because I'd also just suffered a 2 litre PPH.

I didn't complain and I wish I had now, having read your account.

I can tell you the shock and trauma fades. Your daughter is beautiful, you'll start to feel stronger soon. I'm so sorry this has happened to you though

Congratulations, your daughter is beautiful and she is yours.

I wish I could come and give you a massive hug. You have had an awful time and it would be very right to persue it. I am so sorry you went through that.

That is absolutely appalling. I'm so angry for you.
Baby is gorgeous though. Enjoy her and try to focus on her for the moment.

OP I am in awe of you. You are an incredibly strong woman and a fantastic mother. You have put aside the feelings caused by the horrendous abuse you have suffered, and you are still able to love and care for your daughter.

I don't want to push you or lecture at you, but I personally hope you can find the strength to complain. Because you are so together, and many women are not, and if strong smart women like you don't complain, those people will go on to abuse other women like they did you.

I had a DD last year and it has made me feel so strongly about stuff like this, because one day, your DD may go through this. Remember, if you complain, you protect her and all the other vulnerable women and girls from ever having to experience the unjustifiable treatment you experienced.

I am not religious, but bless you and your beautiful sweet baby.

Congratulations OP, your daughter is beautiful.

I'm so sorry for the way you have been treated in that hospital.

How is this even acceptable in this day an age?

Are men regularly assaulted like this by the medical profession?

It's not acceptable Hamster, not one bit. That midwife should be struck off.

Hopeful of course not. I just said exactly that to DH! Can you imagine a man's penis being stitched whilst he shouted that he could feel it and to please stop?

It would never, never happen. Sorry if this sounds extreme but I feel it is a kind of violence against women and we should all stand up against it.

I am going upstairs to kiss my beautiful sleeping baby DD in the hope that when she is a woman, this kind of thing will be as unthinkable as routinely shaving women and knocking them out with drugs.

Congratulations on your beautiful daughter.
Please complain about every part of the appalling way you have been treated. As someone said take photos of your notes, plus the information on this thread and hand it to your DH to fight the case for you.
Then you can focus on your lovely baby.

I think we are all relieved she has arrived! Congratulations to you and your little family. Gather what you can whilst you are in hospital to help you pursue this later but right now, focus on all the help you need to get you both home to start your new family life.

Congratulations. She's gorgeous.

Please, please complain. I was very close to this myself, the Registrar stitching me up wouldn't stop when I told him to and I ended up almost physically pulling myself out of the stirrups when he didn't stop. I think it was just the force of my voice that stopped him, I have a proper 'Authoritarian' voice which I used to my advantage then. Nowadays, I'd have no problem complaining, 25 years ago it wasn't the done thing.

Oh Vodka

Congratulations on the arrival of your beautiful daughter. Please don't worry about the bonding, sometimes it takes a while. DS bonded with immediately - all stars and fireworks. DD - nothing at all for about 8 weeks other than a wish to keep her from harm. I adore them both with equal ferocity now. Sometimes the slower path feels even more real.

About your treatment though, continuing with a procedure without your consent means you were assaulted. There is no excuse. Even if it was life saving, if you're conscious you are entitled to refuse consent. I'm so sorry you went through that. I know you're exhausted but please talk to PALS or a solicitor and raise an immediate complaint. Ask for a copy of your notes via PALS. You may even wish to consider speaking to the police. Frankly that midwife should never practice again. Awful, awful behaviour.

Please try to separate the two things, because your beautiful daughter wasn't the cause of this, she's the wonderful reason you're going to get through it.

Oh, op, you've been treated appallingly. I second what others have said about photographing your notes. Mine went walkies after my first child was born.

Your baby is utterly gorgeous, congratulations again!