to want some peace and quiet on the ward?

[vodkaredbull]

It's 3:30am and I'm losing my mind.

I was admitted to antenatal yesterday morning for induction. So far fuck all is happening and I'm exhausted. In a stupid amount of pain and all I want to do is sleep.

But of course that's not going to happen is it? I'm in a bay with two other beds. Across from me is the snorer but really I could probably block her out. The problem is the other patient who is surgically attached to her fucking iPhone. It's the middle of the night and she's ringing all of her friends for a chat. Who does that when people are trying to sleep?! I don't give a fuck if she's missing a party to be induced. I want to enjoy the totally useless paracetamol they've deigned to give me and try to get a little rest.

The midwife isn't helping much either. She's rather old fashioned and I'm surprised she hasn't locked us in. I tried to go for a walk to escape iPhone girl and she escorted me back to bed.

AIBU to expect a little peace and quiet in here? Seriously losing it right now.

[Shadow1986]

OP your long induced labour sounds so similar to mine, I know exactly how you are feeling right now. I too struggled in those early days thinking what the fuck was that, how could they treat me like that?! There I was being expected to push out twins, when I hadn't slept or eaten in 3 days! It was a Very bad start to motherhood for me and something I chose to ignore for a very long time - my advice would be to get your feelings heard as soon as possible. I've left it too late now so no one will be interested in how their fuck ups affected me so much. I was also offered post birth counselling about 4 hours after I'd given birth and declined as I was in no state to know what the hell I wanted but I would accept this if you get it offered to you.

I'm now having my next baby and I'm 100% about wanting this baby at home and not having an experience like last time.

Congratukations on the arrival of your new baby I so wish it had been a happier experience for you. Like I said I know exactly how you're feeling.

[Littlemissjt]

A beautiful baby, congratulations op!

So sorry to hear the awful time you've had! Hopefully you'll be getting home today and out of there.

[Oriunda]

Only just seen this thread - firstly congratulations on your baby girl.

I was induced and mine went like yours - days of contractions, sleepless nights with no progression of labour. Admitted on the Friday and DS born on Monday afternoon - after waters broken manually I was still only a centimetre dilated after 2+ days of contractions. It was totally demoralising. DS still didn't want to come out and hated the synto drip and so we had to have EMCS in the end. Unfortunately that meant another 3 nights in hospital afterwards! I came out of hospital absolutely shattered.

Despite it being - at the time - a horrible experience, I've put it out of my mind. I had a doula with me who typed up her notes - every vaginal examination (8!) and contraction. Occasionally I have a read and a cry, but they're mostly fond memories now.

A friend did get her notes and ask for a review, and it did help her obtain closure.

Enjoy your little girl.

[Melty]

Oh, and you can also report to the CQC
Reporting a concern

[Melty]

First of all congratulation on your precious little bundle.
Can I just second the NMC . What was done to you by that midwife was assault.
You should write down what happened as soon as possible, so you have the most contemporaneous record and you won't forget details if you do it sooner rather than later. You then can hold off for a bit while you recover, but dont let it go.
NHS guidance on consent:
Consent

I am horrified at what has happened to you.
The business of the consultant treating you like dirt should not be let go either.
There was a fairly big judgement recently on consent. Montgomery v Lanarkshire
Nadine Montgomery was a woman with diabetes who gave birth by vaginal delivery. Her baby, Sam, was born with serious disabilities after shoulder dystocia during delivery. The doctor, Dina McLellan, did not tell Montgomery of the 9-10% risk of shoulder dystocia. McLellan said that she did not routinely discuss the risk of shoulder dystocia with women with diabetes for fear that, if told, such women would opt for a caesarean section. The court held that McLellan should have informed Montgomery of the risk and discussed with her the option of a caesarean section.

In short, this is another example of obstetrics and maternity services failing a pregnant patient.
i am so sorry.

[guinnessgirl]

Congratulations Vodka, your daughter is just perfect.

I am utterly and completely appalled at how you've been treated, though. I had an induction with some similarities to yours but not half so traumatic, and my experiences on the ward were the main reason I had a home birth with DS2. I wouldn't have been induced again without very, very good reason.

I hope you are able to enjoy at least some of these precious early days, and that you are successful in complaining when you are ready x

[diddl]

Congratulations!

That is such shocking treatment.

Your daughter is stunning.

[MrsAttending]

Hope you're home now and settled :)

[Shakey15000]

You poor, poor thing. She's beautiful and you have done so well considering the awful treatment you've received. Thank goodness you have this thread to refer to.

Get as many names as you can on your timeline complaint

[PegsPigs]

Congratulations Vodka! You are the proud mummy of a beautiful baby daughter.

I had a traumatic first birth and used the listening service which really helped me come to terms with the what and the why.

I then experienced issues whilst pregnant with number 2 and had cause to phone PALS. She listened, acted and I was happy with the resolution. The rest of the pregnancy went smoothly because of her intervention. I recommend it as a way to help understand what should have happened in an independent way.

[Theendispie]

Congratulations t a beautiful baby, I'm sorry you had such a difficult time.

I think you should call her Molineux only joking

[RevoltingPeasant]

Hi OP - hoping you are home and resting now.

[PixieChops]

Just read all of this thread Vodka and can say that the treatment and care you've received is absolutely disgraceful. Make sure you follow it up when you get home. I'm just happy in a way that you've managed to log everything on here. I cannot believe they had a fucking student stitching you up especially when you could feel everything. I'm furious on your behalf.
With my DD I wasn't induced but I did have a slow labour for 5 days and ended up with a bad tear and forceps delivery. I demanded an ELCS with my second. No way was I going through that again. Plus I couldn't have put DH though that again either. He was emotionally and physically exhausted.
If you need any advice at all about caring for stitches or helping your pelvic floor please don't hesitate to PM me.
Congratulations to you all and hope your now enjoying your time with your baby and if you're not out of that god awful place already I hope you are soon. Lots of hugs

[NotNob]

Try your best to catch up on sleep, vodka, babies often sleep loads in the first two weeks (mine didn't) so make the most of it. As has been said, expect some tears to arrive around the time your milk comes in. It's an emotional time.

[Watchatalltimes]

Congratulations Vodka on your very beautiful baby girl. I've been seething with [anger] at the way you have been treated during your stay in hospital. I can't believe this happens to women in this day and age. I really hope you complain about the hospital. hopefully you and baby Vodka will be home soon and you get the sleep you need.

[DartmoorDoughnut]

Hope you're discharged soon and that you've managed to see your notes/take photos

[RedToothBrush]

Take your time vodka. The next few days will be emotional regardless of what has happened to you.

Give yourself plenty of time and space to cry. Even with a 'perfect' birth that goes completely to plan, that's what happens. Your hormones go mental and you do lots of crying at everything. (Especially in about 2 or 3 days time even when you have been told about it and are prepared for it)

With everything else that has happened to you, its to be expected. Go with it.

There is no rush. You have a lot recorded here too, which should help.

[vodkaredbull]

Thank you everyone.

Little scare this morning at her on ward baby check. There was some concern about her tone and temperament - she's been such a peaceful little thing so far. However the lovely paediatrician just popped in and said she looks fine. Funny shaped legs but my bump was an odd shape so it should resolve. Cue more weeping!

Waiting to get off the post natal ward and take her home now! Stopping by pals on the way out and I'm going to get everything on paper when I'm home.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Firstly, vodka - congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter.

However, I am so sorry - and angry on your behalf - about the way that you were treated both before, during and after the birth. As a qualified nurse myself, I am appalled that any health care professional would continue to suture you when you had told them to stop, or that they would have a student suture you without your clear consent, obtained in advance.

What was done to you sounds like assault to me, and I would not blame you at all, if you were to contact the police about this. It feels horrible to say that I hope you will complain to the highest levels about this - I am sure that all you want now is your home, your own bed, and to spend time with your dh and your lovely new baby - you don't need, want or deserve to have this time spoiled in any way by having to think about what happened to you, and complaints etc.

I just wish I could give you the biggest hug.

[iMatter]

Congratulations - she is beautiful.

I had a traumatic birth with ds1 and what really helped me was speaking to the people from the hospital's then newly established birth trauma unit. They came round to see me at home, talked me through everything and helped me understand a little bit more about what had happened.

I think you also need to complain because you have clearly been on the receiving end of shocking treatment but I would also ask if they have a traumatic birth support unit as a first step.

Go easy on yourself though. Enjoy these first days with your lovely girl and allow yourself some recovery time before you decide how to approach the next step.

Wishing you all the best.

[liberatedwine]

Your baby daughter is gorgeous!

Such a shocking series of events surrounding what should be such a joyous time. Get the midwife's name and report her to the NMC as well as raising a complaint about everything else that you were forced to endure.

www.nmc.org.uk/concerns-nurses-midwives/concerns-complaints-referrals/

[AuntMabel]

Congratulations on your beautiful little girl

We're in the midst of a NHS complaint, different Trust I appreciate, but PALS told us their function was to assist patient issues with ongoing treatment/appointments etc. When we wanted to make an official complaint we were told to direct it to the Trust's useless complaints department who still haven't responded nearly two months later.

In short, get onto PALS if you have the energy to. It won't impact on the quality of your care at all and it will be logged in their system so to speak, ready for you to follow up in the fullness of time.

[Braeburns]

I had similar experience with stitching and saying it was hurting even though they gave me a local (no pain relief for acbirth). I was flinching with each stitch. In my case I usually need a double dose of local when I've had other minor procedures or dental work done as the standard dose doesn't numb me sufficiently. Wish I'd had it in my maternity notes but didn't think they'd go ahead while I was obviously not numb. However the good news was I healed well and although it was in my notes for dc2 I didn't need stitches second time around. I definitely agree you should complain, I should have but a bit overwhelmed by newborn.

[Whatdoidohelp]

They had hcas witnessing the birth and you asked then to leave and they didn't. I am tearing up for you. That is absolutely horrendous. If you need any help in going ahead with your complaint don't be afraid to ask, im sure others will be willing to share their experiences and advice.