to want some peace and quiet on the ward?

[vodkaredbull]

It's 3:30am and I'm losing my mind.

I was admitted to antenatal yesterday morning for induction. So far fuck all is happening and I'm exhausted. In a stupid amount of pain and all I want to do is sleep.

But of course that's not going to happen is it? I'm in a bay with two other beds. Across from me is the snorer but really I could probably block her out. The problem is the other patient who is surgically attached to her fucking iPhone. It's the middle of the night and she's ringing all of her friends for a chat. Who does that when people are trying to sleep?! I don't give a fuck if she's missing a party to be induced. I want to enjoy the totally useless paracetamol they've deigned to give me and try to get a little rest.

The midwife isn't helping much either. She's rather old fashioned and I'm surprised she hasn't locked us in. I tried to go for a walk to escape iPhone girl and she escorted me back to bed.

AIBU to expect a little peace and quiet in here? Seriously losing it right now.

[MrFMercury]

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter.
I've been on the verge of tears reading all you've been through as I suffered debilitating PTSD after the birth of my own daughter. You've documented a lot here with us including times so hopefully that'll help as will copying your notes. Your DH is on your side so let him start the complaint procedure off while you start to recover and I'm so glad you feel you've bonded.
If you need to in the coming days, weeks or even months, read this thread to remind yourself that you did nothing 'wrong' and remained focused in almost unbearable circumstances. If you have a good GP talk to them and there is specialist support out there too. Time does help and I've never struggled to separate the horror of her entry into the world and the love I have for my daughter but be kind to yourself xxx

[Mouthfulofquiz]

Another one here saying saying photograph all of your notes as soon as you can. Speak to PALs on your mobile phone if you have to, and ask them to come and see you. I think the sooner you can get all of this complaint down on and being investigated, the sooner you can just concentrate on your beautiful girl, and your own recovery.

[Mouthfulofquiz]

Also, get your DH to casually try and get the names of all involved and give his side of the situation too to Pals.

[YoungGirlGrowingOld]

Congratulations!

As someone whose notes went missing, then reappeared with various works of fiction interleaved between them describing scenarios that (thanks to my meticulous record keeping) I knew did not happen, I can only reinforce - with a heavy heart - the advice you are getting on this thread about your notes.

Sadly, nothing that happens in UK hospitals these days surprises me. I was told by a HCP that I was only complaining "because I went to private school and didn't know how to talk to people properly!" (I didn't, and I do, for the record).

Eventually the hospital settled out of court and I blew the cash on a ridiculously indulgent holiday with DH which helped somewhat. I would far rather have just been treated like a human being though. The nurse is still employed in the NHS but at least all my friends who are still local know to avoid her.

[Jibberjabberjooo]

You have every right to go to PALS, they will have an office somewhere in the hospital. As HCP we have to give out PALS info to anyone that wants it, you cannot be discouraged from complaining.

[Dollymixtureyumyum]

Congratulations OP on your beautiful little girl
I am sorry you had such a bad experience, mine was awful as well but not as bad as yours. It's so bad that in this day and age women in childbirth are just basically treated like pieces of meat

[PeaceLoveAndMincePies]

I hope you've had a decent night OP

[RedToothBrush]

Everyone has mentioned PALS so far as the place to go to complain. They are not the only place or the only source of support for complaints.

Here are some other useful links for anyone considering complaining (not just you vodka - priority now is to look after yourself)

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/healthcare/nhs-and-social-care-complaints/complaining-about-the-nhs/who-you-can-go-to-when-you-have-a-problem-with-the-nhs/organisations-that-can-help-you-make-a-complaint-about-health-services/

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/healthcare/nhs-and-social-care-complaints/nhs-complaints-who-is-your-complaint-against/nhs-hospital-complaints/

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/healthcare/nhs-and-social-care-complaints/complaining-about-the-nhs/tips-and-tools-to-help-you-make-a-complaint-about-health-services/

[Whatdoidohelp]

They had hcas witnessing the birth and you asked then to leave and they didn't. I am tearing up for you. That is absolutely horrendous. If you need any help in going ahead with your complaint don't be afraid to ask, im sure others will be willing to share their experiences and advice.

[Braeburns]

I had similar experience with stitching and saying it was hurting even though they gave me a local (no pain relief for acbirth). I was flinching with each stitch. In my case I usually need a double dose of local when I've had other minor procedures or dental work done as the standard dose doesn't numb me sufficiently. Wish I'd had it in my maternity notes but didn't think they'd go ahead while I was obviously not numb. However the good news was I healed well and although it was in my notes for dc2 I didn't need stitches second time around. I definitely agree you should complain, I should have but a bit overwhelmed by newborn.

[AuntMabel]

Congratulations on your beautiful little girl

We're in the midst of a NHS complaint, different Trust I appreciate, but PALS told us their function was to assist patient issues with ongoing treatment/appointments etc. When we wanted to make an official complaint we were told to direct it to the Trust's useless complaints department who still haven't responded nearly two months later.

In short, get onto PALS if you have the energy to. It won't impact on the quality of your care at all and it will be logged in their system so to speak, ready for you to follow up in the fullness of time.

[liberatedwine]

Your baby daughter is gorgeous!

Such a shocking series of events surrounding what should be such a joyous time. Get the midwife's name and report her to the NMC as well as raising a complaint about everything else that you were forced to endure.

www.nmc.org.uk/concerns-nurses-midwives/concerns-complaints-referrals/

[iMatter]

Congratulations - she is beautiful.

I had a traumatic birth with ds1 and what really helped me was speaking to the people from the hospital's then newly established birth trauma unit. They came round to see me at home, talked me through everything and helped me understand a little bit more about what had happened.

I think you also need to complain because you have clearly been on the receiving end of shocking treatment but I would also ask if they have a traumatic birth support unit as a first step.

Go easy on yourself though. Enjoy these first days with your lovely girl and allow yourself some recovery time before you decide how to approach the next step.

Wishing you all the best.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

Firstly, vodka - congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter.

However, I am so sorry - and angry on your behalf - about the way that you were treated both before, during and after the birth. As a qualified nurse myself, I am appalled that any health care professional would continue to suture you when you had told them to stop, or that they would have a student suture you without your clear consent, obtained in advance.

What was done to you sounds like assault to me, and I would not blame you at all, if you were to contact the police about this. It feels horrible to say that I hope you will complain to the highest levels about this - I am sure that all you want now is your home, your own bed, and to spend time with your dh and your lovely new baby - you don't need, want or deserve to have this time spoiled in any way by having to think about what happened to you, and complaints etc.

I just wish I could give you the biggest hug.

[vodkaredbull]

Thank you everyone.

Little scare this morning at her on ward baby check. There was some concern about her tone and temperament - she's been such a peaceful little thing so far. However the lovely paediatrician just popped in and said she looks fine. Funny shaped legs but my bump was an odd shape so it should resolve. Cue more weeping!

Waiting to get off the post natal ward and take her home now! Stopping by pals on the way out and I'm going to get everything on paper when I'm home.

[RedToothBrush]

Take your time vodka. The next few days will be emotional regardless of what has happened to you.

Give yourself plenty of time and space to cry. Even with a 'perfect' birth that goes completely to plan, that's what happens. Your hormones go mental and you do lots of crying at everything. (Especially in about 2 or 3 days time even when you have been told about it and are prepared for it)

With everything else that has happened to you, its to be expected. Go with it.

There is no rush. You have a lot recorded here too, which should help.

[DartmoorDoughnut]

Hope you're discharged soon and that you've managed to see your notes/take photos

[Watchatalltimes]

Congratulations Vodka on your very beautiful baby girl. I've been seething with [anger] at the way you have been treated during your stay in hospital. I can't believe this happens to women in this day and age. I really hope you complain about the hospital. hopefully you and baby Vodka will be home soon and you get the sleep you need.

[NotNob]

Try your best to catch up on sleep, vodka, babies often sleep loads in the first two weeks (mine didn't) so make the most of it. As has been said, expect some tears to arrive around the time your milk comes in. It's an emotional time.

[PixieChops]

Just read all of this thread Vodka and can say that the treatment and care you've received is absolutely disgraceful. Make sure you follow it up when you get home. I'm just happy in a way that you've managed to log everything on here. I cannot believe they had a fucking student stitching you up especially when you could feel everything. I'm furious on your behalf.
With my DD I wasn't induced but I did have a slow labour for 5 days and ended up with a bad tear and forceps delivery. I demanded an ELCS with my second. No way was I going through that again. Plus I couldn't have put DH though that again either. He was emotionally and physically exhausted.
If you need any advice at all about caring for stitches or helping your pelvic floor please don't hesitate to PM me.
Congratulations to you all and hope your now enjoying your time with your baby and if you're not out of that god awful place already I hope you are soon. Lots of hugs

[RevoltingPeasant]

Hi OP - hoping you are home and resting now.

[Theendispie]

Congratulations t a beautiful baby, I'm sorry you had such a difficult time.

I think you should call her Molineux only joking

[PegsPigs]

Congratulations Vodka! You are the proud mummy of a beautiful baby daughter.

I had a traumatic first birth and used the listening service which really helped me come to terms with the what and the why.

I then experienced issues whilst pregnant with number 2 and had cause to phone PALS. She listened, acted and I was happy with the resolution. The rest of the pregnancy went smoothly because of her intervention. I recommend it as a way to help understand what should have happened in an independent way.

[Shakey15000]

You poor, poor thing. She's beautiful and you have done so well considering the awful treatment you've received. Thank goodness you have this thread to refer to.

Get as many names as you can on your timeline complaint

[MrsAttending]

Hope you're home now and settled :)