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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how you would cope with this situation

19 replies

silversparrow · 05/02/2016 16:58

Baby has been crying ALL day Sad

DH is in bed with flu. I'm worried I might be coming down with it too as feel achy and sick though I've felt like this for few days and had flu jab when pregnant- is it possible to get mild flu instead if immune?
Also I'm so worried baby might be getting flu as he doesn't usually cry this much (though is a grizzly baby due to reflux)

No family nearby to help

Had 3 hours sleep last night due to baby not settling

Has anyone had flu and looked after a baby at same time? Any tips? I'm so worried I won't be able to cope. Feel so alone.

Maybe the achiness/nausea is just sleep deprivation and carrying baby all day not flu? I'm hoping if I let DH sleep he might wake up feeling better, he's had it 24-hours now.

OP posts:
Akire · 05/02/2016 17:02

Sorry you are ill but if you both have it you have take turns looking after the baby. Don't give it man flu = he spends says in bed. You struggle on as normal!

In the mean time can you do online shop stock up nice easy things you can snack on and painkillers so you don't have to go out for few days.

Tiggeryoubastard · 05/02/2016 17:04

Yes, had a few times like this when husband was away (forces) and kids were little. Basically only do what absolutely HAS to be done. You'll get through it, I promise.

toastyarmadillo · 05/02/2016 17:05

Agree take turns looking after the baby.
A flu jab immunise you against a particular variant of the flu, other variants exist so it's entirely possible to still catch flu after being immunised. They actually immunise against a different strain every year!

chunkymum1 · 05/02/2016 17:12

Is there someone nearby that you could ask to look after baby for an hour or two during the day so you can get a but of extra rest (someone from your ante-natal group perhaps)? It will probably feel really cheeky asking but in my experience, having done similar for friends, they won't mind and will actually feel quite relieved that there is someone who owes them a child care favour that they can call on if they need it.

carabos · 05/02/2016 17:18

How old is the baby? I had full blown flu when DS2 was a few weeks old. It was without a doubt the closest I have come to wishing I was dead. DH had gone back to work after having a couple of weeks off for the birth, DS1 was 7 and had to go to school and I couldn't lift my head off the pillow. I spent a week in bed with the baby - luckily breastfed, and DH did what he could - we had no local family.

If you've had the jab, then if you get the vaccine strain of flu (there are lots of different ones), you should just get a mild dose. All i can suggest is don't fight it. Do whatever you have to do to be comfortable and trust that it will pass.

Original poster
silversparrow · 05/02/2016 17:27

Thanks for the support

All our local friends have young babies so I wouldn't want to risk them catching it or passing it on to their babies

Hoping I'm immune to this strain! Really worried about baby getting it as I've heard it can be dangerous in babies. He's 5months.

Usually DH takes over when he's been crying all day but he's too ill to help so on my own Sad

Good to know others have coped in similar situations

OP posts:
Guitargirl · 05/02/2016 17:35

I had proper flu when DS was 5 months and DD was 2.5. DP was away and we have no family nearby.

It's rubbish but it is one of those grit your teeth and get through it times. Are you bf? That will help protect your baby somewhat from catching it. And it is also a legitimate reason to park yourself on the sofa.

I remember quite a few days of me in pyjamas feeding DS whilst DD did sticker books or watched Dora DVDs.

Get some honey and lemon in and cuddle up with DS on the sofa and ride it out.

KitKat1985 · 05/02/2016 17:37

Me and DH once had a tummy bug at the same time when DD was little. It was bloody awful. We took it in turns to feed DD whilst retching and do nappy changes whilst the other slept / vomited / wallowed in self-pity. We kept DD entertained by having children's TV on continuously and having some (non-messy) toys out for her to play with. Don't worry if your parenting isn't amazing for a couple of days. I'm assuming the baby is still young. Could he be entertained in a bouncer or something for a few hours? Just do what you need to do to get through.

RoastChickenDinner · 05/02/2016 17:46

If you are very concerned about baby then speak to out of hours etc.

Also if you really can't cope, you could phone your HV and see if she could put you in touch with a community childminder or similar.

Hope you feel better soon.

I always take weeks to get over anything because DH just sleeps if we are ill at the same time - you literally just can't move him!

RoastChickenDinner · 05/02/2016 17:48

Having said that I'm sure you will cope, you're stronger than you think Flowers

Sandsnake · 05/02/2016 18:02

Really sorry about such a crap time - I know how draining a constantly crying baby can be let alone feeling ill on top. So I just wanted to give you Flowers and a virtual hug, for what it's worth.

If it's 'real' flu as opposed to a bad cold or something then it's unlikely that your DH is going to be much better in 24 hours. If you get it too then he will have no choice but to do some of the baby care as you will need some time to rest.

I'm sure you've already looked into it but just in case you haven't please don't think that you just have to put up with the reflux. After 10 weeks of putting up with silent reflux with my DS (and being completely fobbed off at 8 week check up) I got him prescribed Ranatadine. So far this is really helping him and the crying is much reduced.

Ledkr · 05/02/2016 18:05

Get some decent drugs from the chemist.
I find those fu capsules very good but get the non drowsy ones.
Take any medication regularly and not when the last dose wears off.
Hope you are wrong.

WhiteBlueDaisies · 05/02/2016 18:07

I had flu when DS was about the same age and DD was 2.

Luckily my Mum was on hand to help (DH at work) because I don't think I could have coped on my own. I don't want to worry you, but I didn't even have the strength to walk to the bathroom without help and feeling like I was going to pass out. I didn't have enough strength to even lift DS on my own, let alone change his nappy etc.

My Mum looked after the kids and just passed DS to me for feeds.

I know some people do have to just get on with it, but if there is anyway possible you have a 'plan B' to help you I would get them on standby incase you get really ill.

Hopefully it'll pass quickly, and both you and DH are both back to full health asap.

Silver lining? I lost all my excess baby weight in a few days 😉

AnotherStitchInTime · 05/02/2016 19:00

I had flu when dd2 was the same age. My DM had to come and care for Dd1 and dd2. I couldn't even lift dd2 to breastfeed. She had to bring her to me so I could feed lying down. After two days I could feed sitting on the sofa, but not much else.

DH has just had flu. He can't remember the first two days as he was delirious. He called me at 5am to come home from a night shift. When I got home half an hour later, he was barely conscious on the sofa and Dd1 (6) was looking after ds (2).

If your DH is more than 2 days in hopefully he will be able to do more just as you succumb. Otherwise I fear you will need help. The only plus you have is that your baby is not too mobile yet.

Also if your baby has been crying all day they may well be ill too. DS also had flu starting just before DH, he screamed all the time due to headache and ear pain. We alternated ibuprofen and paracetamol, but he was still distressed. On Monday I took him to GP and he has a chest infection and is now on antibiotics.

Be aware of the signs for an unwell baby and keep a close eye.

Lurkedforever1 · 05/02/2016 19:08

I'm a lone parent, so yes it's something I've experienced. It's horrid, but you'll cope because there isn't much choice about it. However if you do end up being properly ill like your dh, then only fair he shares the burden.

AliAliAlium · 05/02/2016 19:09

Oh you poor thing.

I had flu a couple of weeks ago. DH had to woke (longish hours) and so I was stuck with a baby and toddler, and a school aged child outside of school hours.

It was horrible. Really horrible. I could barely get off the sofa, and there was always someone needing something. I tried to stay in bed and nap with the little ones next to me - it didn't work well but is worth a shot? And make sure you max up on paracetamol and nurofen.

Also, if you can face it do an online shop, now - before you feel too awful. We ran out of food and when I started to fee like eating a little we had nothing, not even bread. The DCs had been living on freezer rubbish, and I so wanted some soup or toast but didn't have the energy to get to a shop.

AliAliAlium · 05/02/2016 19:09

work. Not woke!

Bungleboggs · 05/02/2016 19:12

Yes, with twin babies on my own!! You just cope, bouncers, pjs and blanket on the sofa.

Original poster
silversparrow · 05/02/2016 20:41

Thanks everyone

No new symptoms so fingers crossed I may have immunity.

Baby is asleep now, no fever. Yes he's breastfed so hopefully got antibodies in milk. I'll ask GP for ranitidine, he's on infant-Gaviscon but it doesn't seem to be helping, still screams a lot and vomits curdled milk.

DH has slept all day apart from staggering to bathroom. I've never seen him look so ill, he's shaking with fever Sad

Good to hear your stories of survival!

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