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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter injured in high school

98 replies

loopylou6 · 04/02/2016 14:27

Yesterday dd came home from school with a cut right below her lower eye lid. She told me that a boy (who's known for bad behaviour) had chucked a ruler at her face.
I phoned the school and asked to speak to head of year, was told she was busyand would call me back, I gave details of the incident and asked that she call me as soon as she had finished with her phone call.
An hour later I'd heard nothing, so I called back and spoke to someone else and was told this teacher had gone home Hmm she asked what the issue was, so I told her, she said she would flag it as urgent and make sure the HOY calls today.
So after hearing nothing today, I've called back yet again about fifteen minutes ago only to be told by the receptionist that HOY has passed this to the teacher of the class in which this happened, who apparently will be calling today Hmm
So, AIBU in feeling that this isn't being dealt with properly and also being pretty pissed off that this woman couldn't take five minutes of of her day to ring me back as promised?

OP posts:
Neverpolishghillies · 04/02/2016 14:53

Have you reported the assault to police?

Gileswithachainsaw · 04/02/2016 14:57

I think.you have had plenty of notice that they clearly don't think it's important and id take it further tbh

she could have had some serious damage to her eye if the ruler had been just mms in another direction.

hopefully experts will be along to inform you of the next step. probably the police

PaulAnkaTheDog · 04/02/2016 15:00

The police?!

Gobbolino6 · 04/02/2016 15:07

I'd just ring the school back now. I'd query why you weren't contacted earlier and see what they say. Hopefully you'll be satisfied. If not, you can take it from there.

Original poster
loopylou6 · 04/02/2016 15:08

I hadn't even thought of the police Blush
Giles, yes, that's what has really bothered me, if it was thrown hard enough to mark skin imagine what it could of done to an eye ball Sad
I was thinking of one more call after school today after I find out from dd if anyone has bothered speaking to her about it, I'm thinking strong words and maybe threatening going to the education board ( is that the right place? )

OP posts:
mrswhiplington · 04/02/2016 15:11

Tell them you are going to the police, they might jump into action then. Good luck.

Kitkatmonster · 04/02/2016 15:11

I think at this point OP, my course of action would be an email to the head, cc-ing the HOY if possible, explaining the issue (injury to child) and that the lack of contact from anyone at school, despite your repeated attempts, has done nothing to persuade you that the school is able to adequately deal with such incidents and at present your overriding concern is whether your child is safe from harm in school. I'd then be suggesting that someone contacts me immediately to discuss how they will be ensuring my child's safety going forward, and what action they have taken against perpetrator. Otherwise I shall have to withdraw my child until I am assured she is safe, etc. Just word it very strongly and go over all their heads. Straight to head teacher.

Kitkatmonster · 04/02/2016 15:12

OFSTED & governors if you aren't satisfied with how the head handles it.

Neverpolishghillies · 04/02/2016 15:13

The police?!

Children have exactly the same rights as adults,

If a random adult came up to you and hit you with an object and you had a cut beneath eye, you would have no hesitation in involving the police.

Why the hell should a child be expected to put up with assault?

Katenka · 04/02/2016 15:13

We had to have the police involved after dd was assaulted at school. Funny how they didn't seem that interested until I told them that I had reported and was waiting for a police officer to come and speak to me and dd.

Ring them back and advise the. You are contacting the police. There will be someone available to speak to you then.

Original poster
loopylou6 · 04/02/2016 15:14

Thank you. So you think I should not bother calling again and go in directly with the email?

Thank you everyone for your comments Flowers

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Original poster
loopylou6 · 04/02/2016 15:15

Sorry x-post with some of you

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Katenka · 04/02/2016 15:16

Email is better as you have a paper trail.

Write down all the calls you have made today. Who you spoke to what they said.

It will all help if it goes further. Schools gate paper trail

LurkingHusband · 04/02/2016 15:16

from reading MN it seems a lot of people seem to think that passing school gates is an portal to an alternate universe, where the laws of the land are suspended Sad

At very least, this is common assault.

Kitkatmonster · 04/02/2016 15:18

I wouldn't call again, twice and no return is a deliberate ignore in my book, and yanbu to be annoyed about that! I would email head, if you do call again I would expect to speak to head now. However, after receiving an email setting all that out, I'd expect you to get a very quick call back from either head or another member of senior leadership team.

EponasWildDaughter · 04/02/2016 15:18

Yes, if i was in a night class or college course and a fellow member chucked a ruler a me cutting my face damn right i'd call the police if no appropriate concern about the incident was being shown. Why should it be different for a child?

I'd email the school and let them know what i intended.

Neverpolishghillies · 04/02/2016 15:20

from reading MN it seems a lot of people seem to think that passing school gates is an portal to an alternate universe, where the laws of the land are suspended

Very well said, unfortunately by not treating these violence attacks correctly, these children are growing up and going out into the world doomed to fail, as hurting people is their go to reaction.

Original poster
loopylou6 · 04/02/2016 15:21

Just searched and can't find email for head, only main email.

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Original poster
loopylou6 · 04/02/2016 15:23

Shall I email that address and 'For urgent attention of head teacher' in the subject bar? I have no idea how to find heads own email

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givemushypeasachance · 04/02/2016 15:23

Ofsted can't investigate issues to do with individual pupils, there's a step by step process with complaints where you have to start with following the school's complaint procedure, then complain in writing to the headteacher, then the governors, and then the Department for Education.

But that's jumping the gun slightly - if they won't return your phone calls then move on to complaining in writing, by email, and emphasise the poor (nil) communication you've had so far.

Katenka · 04/02/2016 15:24

Dds secondary school has a police officer that deals with this sort of thing.

He has an assembly every so often to remind kids that they are over the age of criminal responsibility and the laws that apply outside school apply inside.

I really I don't get why people think it's ok for kids to assault other kids in school

givemushypeasachance · 04/02/2016 15:24

They probably have a generic headteacher email like headteacher@schoolname(whatever) but if you send something to the main school address marked for their attention it would definitely find its way there.

Katenka · 04/02/2016 15:27

Entitle it

'Dd assaulted in school grounds. Police involved'

That will get their attention

Kitkatmonster · 04/02/2016 15:28

yep, and while ofsted don't investigate complaints to do with individual pupils, there would be no harm in raising a generic concern about the school's ability to safeguard their pupils. But I agree, that's for later. Send the email FAO the head and at your next opportunity make sure you get his actual email address from the school. For future reference.

Original poster
loopylou6 · 04/02/2016 15:31

Ok, I'm off to type out email

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